Pictures of you
by whothewhaat
Summary: AU: Love triangle among Shay Mitchell, Ashley Benson and Keegan Allen... Would any of them own up to their feelings? Everybody has a secret they won't tell. *SHAYLEY angst/fluff*
1. Prologue

**Hi there! This is pretty much a fanfic dedicated to Shay, Ashley and Keegan of Pretty Little Liars. Among the PLL cast, they're my favorites as well as Troian... By the way, I don't own PLL and I'm in no way related to any of the cast or crew. How I wish though. :p**

**Now… Aren't you a bit curious like me? Like what if ShayLey start to grow feelings for each other? What would've taken them to discover their true feelings for each other? What if only one of them has "more than friends" feelings for the other? What if Keegan has feelings for Shay? Or for Ashley? So hopefully I'd be able to take you guys to an awesome ride with my ShayLey and KeeShay ship.**

**And yes, Keegan is a major character here. *winks* The frustrated Tomily shipper in me wants some Shay/Keegan action. I know there aren't a lot of people who ships ShayLey, Tomily or KeeShay for that matter but what the heck, I'd still write about them. **

**The back-story for this prologue will be revealed after a couple more chapters… it'll be like a turning point for Shay, Ashley and Keegan. **

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

_Flashback..._

_Feb 27, 2011...  
><em>

_Ashley just got off from her car with her hands full—a box of cupcakes on her left hand, two cups of coffee on the other. A__ hint of smile formed on Ashley's lips when she remembered Shay kept bugging her last week about her favorite cupcakes. She was quite sure it was just Shay's subtle way of telling her to take her out or surprise her with those. Ash then made up an excuse to Shay, telling her she was staying in after her shoot but she already made a plan for their night out…_

_Ash had to park her car almost two blocks away from Shay's apartment__—forcing her to walk to Shay's a little further than the usual. She wanted to curse the hell out of the drivers who annoyingly parked their cars practically on every side of the street. Ash was pissed off but she couldn't allow herself to be in a bad mood especially now that she'll be seeing Shay._

_Ash walked with a grin on her face__… Her smug attitude for the day got her more excited to see Shay. She was sure Shay would be happy again to see her with her favorite cupcakes. She also likes to see the look of surprise on Shay's face every time she surprises her. It was almost always a mix of amusement and utmost gratefulness on Shay's eyes every time. Sometimes she can't help but take a picture of her and would often tease Shay how beautiful she looks with her facial expressions. In return, Shay would always put out her sweetest smile for Ash. Almost too sweet, it actually melts Ash' heart no matter how cheesy it sounds._

_Ash figured… Shay's always been easy to please. Making it hard for her to resist doing things that her friends before Shay came to her life would find uncanny of her__…_

_For instance, Ash was really more of a tomboy. She wasn't really the outdoor-sy type. She mostly preferred hanging out with her gang. And by gang, she meant mostly bo__ys. Sure she has girl friends but they're rather few. Her 'girls' usually mean just her sister Shaylene and her mom._

_Ash felt like there's just too much drama on having too many girl friends unlike with her gang where she can wear her sweatpants and ridiculously large shirts on a regular basis without them bantering on her outfit. She prefers the comfort of having his gang around, playing Xbox with them til the wee hours in the morning, doing pranks on each other and occasional music jams. She'd mostly play guitar while they pretend they're rock stars with her couch as their stage, her wall TV as their concert-tube as they would fondly call it and with Olly as their number 1 groupie._

_All these changed though when she started doing Pretty Little Liars. It was a rather subtle change__… _

_Ash was happy enough when she learned that she'd be working with Lucy whom she had known for a while already. She only heard about Troian and her big-name-NCIS-dad because one of her boy friends is an avid NCIS fan. And then there was Shay whom she hasn't really heard of til she imdb'ed her. She wasn't entirely familiar with the shows that she's been on since most of them are Canadian shows. She thought Shay pretty much sums up as a former model and a relatively new actress._

_Ashley was later introduced to PLL boys__… She hardly had any trouble getting in the know with them. She later learned that Tyler would be her onscreen partner, Keegan initially as Shay's but was latter paired with Troian, Ian with Lucy's and a number of girls paired to Shay. She had a hard time remembering all the girls' name except for Bianca who played 'Maya' since she used to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer… The rest of Emily's girls—she just googled and imdb'ed them._

_Ash purposively walked slower than usual... It was almost dark though but she didn't really give a damn about the time. She gets to go to Shay's apartment anytime of the day whenever she wants anyways. She checked herself on the __car's mirror that she passed by just to make sure she looks presentable otherwise Shay would tease her again that she's not channeling her inner Hanna. And by that, Shay usually means she should dress more "girly-ish." She let out a giggle when she remembered Shay's mirror face that she always makes fun of._

_She smiled at the thought of realizing tha__t Shay was her exact opposite yet they are still the best of friends… _

_Shay was into books, sensible films and other "noble stuff" while she was rather content just how her life has been going. She mostly prefers hanging out with her family and closest friends__… She reckoned Shay is more of a social butterfly since she has these different groups of circle of friends with figuratively and literally contrasting kinds of interests. It amazes her how Shay's friends with so many people with so many different personalities…_

_Sure __Ash does charities occasionally but she hates to admit that usually it was just a suggestion from her manager that she needs to adhere to. She figured it's not like her to pull a limb like what Shay did during their hiatus before when she flew to Asia to help an organization about ending illegal human trafficking and human slavery._

_Ash let out a smile when she remembered just how often she teases Shay that she's "so girly"… __By now, Ash is already used to seeing Shay in heels even if she's inside the apartment yet somehow it still never fails to amuse her… She recalled that Shay's closet and apartment's interior design were also another proof just how girly Shay is. Shay's usually has a touch of pink, tons of silks and sequins, dresses and heels while hers is more like a closet of casual-girly-ish clothes and boots, and on top of that a semi-bare apartment that you'd mistake for a bachelor's more than for a bachelorette's. Ash found "Zen" to be her perfect excuse that's why she couldn't care less about how her apartment looks like. And had it not been for Shay's insistence to buy more "color" for her apartment, she probably wouldn't have agreed to add some 'pink' and flowers on it. She couldn't help but admit to herself that she likes Shay intruding with some of her decisions too much she can't find it in her heart to complain…_

_Ashley was quite consumed with her reminiscent thoughts she barely recognized there were actually two people outside Shay's apartment. Whoever it was, she didn't know yet__... She was more excited to hang out with Shay to notice or even care who those people are. Ash was just happy enough her shoot ended almost just 2 hrs after Shay's. She couldn't wait but to spend time with her again. Shay was her best friend after all..._

_Ash was almost just a few feet away when she heard someone sobbing. Shay's street was a little dark__… She just assumed it was someone else. "It couldn't be possibly Shay," Ashley thought to herself. Ash remembered Shay telling her she was also staying in and that she's not expecting anyone to come. Whoever she must've seen a while ago in front of Shay's apartment must be just some other tenants._

_There were more __sobs, as she got closer to Shay's apartment... Ash could tell these were muffled cries of a girl who just got her heart broken. She dismissed the thought that it could be Shay. She would've been the first person to know if she got her heart broken..._

_Ashley froze when she finally realized where the sobs came from. It was from the two people that she saw earlier when she drove past Shay's apartment__... She had to stop herself from walking immediately. Her heart almost stopped at the sight of the two... Her breathing rather scarce now… Her excitement suddenly blurred by her tears…_

_It was already dark but she didn't need more streetlights to figure out who those people were… They were no other than Shay and Keegan. They were both lost in their embrace—Shay crying uncontrollably__... Ash was quite sure she also saw Keegan crying and trying to comfort Shay. She could tell it wasn't just a friendly embrace or friends just comforting each other. Ashley barely noticed the tears that were uncontrollably falling off of her eyes… "What did I miss? How come I never saw this coming [between Shay and Keegs]" were the only thoughts running through her head..._

_What Ash didn't know is that the__re was another pair of eyes who's also seeing everything happening before them._

* * *

><p><strong>PS: <strong>**I'll try to update at least once or twice every week. Work's been keeping me busy… And if you get a story alert on one of my chapters that's already been published… Please forgive me? * puppy eyes * I tend to change some small details… no biggie. I'm oc like that : p**

**Don't forget to hit the Review button! Suggestions are definitely welcome!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Shay was told she just need to do two more scenes for the Halloween episode and then she's off to go. She looked for Lucy and the rest of the cast but they're all filming their respective scenes. Keegan on the other hand was sitting beside Troian, both holding their iPad…

Shay smiled at the sight of Keegan. "He looked so peaceful…" Shay thought to herself. Keegan was wearing his gray-blue long sleeves plaid on top of his gray tee shirt while Troian was wearing a blue off shoulder top. Shay reckoned Keegan looked engrossed with whatever is on his iPad. She also thought that Keegan looked so… serene. Like his inner calm radiates on the outside, something to that effect.

Troian glanced up and couldn't help but notice Shay staring at Keegan. Shay must've thought nobody can see her… Meanwhile, Shay could see a smile forming at the corner of Keegan's lips. Whatever Keegan was smiling about, Shay had no idea. But she liked seeing him smile. It was a good sight. "Yeah, a good sight." Shay reaffirmed to herself. Keegan on the other hand was aware that Shay has been staring at her. He couldn't help but let out a hint of smile…

Troian smirked at her own observation between Shay and Keegan... She's always had a knack for details and has been told a number of times m she has a keen observation… And these secret exchanges of glances between Shay and Keegan did not escape her scrutinizing eyes. She had a hunch on what's been going on between the two but she'd rather keep it to herself. She's actually curious if Shay, Ash and Keegan even have an idea about the tension growing among them especially on set or whenever they're together.

It took Shay a few seconds before she realized that she must've have been staring at Keegan because her make up artist had to get her attention, telling her she's gonna be up in a few seconds for her scene. Shay immediately blushed when she met Troian's eyes giving her a meaningful look as if telling her "I know who you're staring at." Shay shied away from Troian's eyes and looked at the mirror instead, making sure she's all set up for her scene…

Shay got off her chair and scanned her surroundings. Her eyes looked for Ash but she was nowhere to be found. She thought that Ash may be hanging out with the PLL crew again like she would often do while waiting for her to finish her shoot. But she's seen most of Ash' crew buddies and they don't seem to have any idea where she is when she mouthed "Where's Ash?" Almost everybody answered her with a shrug.

Now she's wondering if she and Ash would still be having dinner after her shoot. Shay grabbed her iPhone and dialed Ash' number but her line was busy. She wondered where Ash could be. Ash hasn't left her any messages for the day and she's been acting weird the past few days too. Ash was rather quiet even if they're together, like something's bothering her. Shay could tell Ash is trying to hide whatever it is that she's not telling by goofing around [more] than she regularly does—as if Ash is trying to hide whatever it is that's bothering her. Shay knows better though… Her instincts about Ash have never failed her. Or so she thought.

* * *

><p>Ash on the other hand is already done with her shoot. She went outside to get some fresh air. She was also looking for Tyler and as if on cue her iPhone rang...<p>

"Hey partner!" Tyler teased. Ash could tell Tyler was smiling on the other line. She couldn't help but smile back to Ty even if they can't see each other. "Let's hang out," Tyler finished his sentence.

"Like now… now?"

"No, of course not now. Tomorrow, I mean. Yes, now, silly. What are you doing? I thought you're done with your scenes already? I'm going out with the boys. I just thought you might wanna go. You're kinda off your game lately, you know."

Ash wondered if Tyler had any idea that he actually hit a spot with what he said. But what could Tyler possibly know about what's bugging her? "He can't possibly know, can he? Nobody knows." Ash wondered to herself.

"Hey, Ash. Still there? You comin?" said Tyler.

"Um, yeah. Still here. Sorry about that. Uh, listen… I don't think I can go tonight. I promised Shay I'd wait for her. We'll have dinner after her scenes. I wanna say… she'll be done in an hour… So… tomorrow, maybe?"

"Oh, okay. Next time… Bye now…" Tyler said with a feeling of defeat.

"Bye…" Ash said absentmindedly. She noticed she missed Shay's call because she was on the phone with Tyler. She thought of calling her back but she figured Shay must be doing her scenes already.

Tyler wasn't actually planning to bring Ash with the 'boys'. It's just that he noticed Ash hasn't been herself these past few days. He thought maybe Ash needed some time off. Tyler figured maybe they could hang out like they used to. Or maybe he can take her out for dinner. He hoped to do some music jam with her if Ash was feeling up to it, but like he figured, Ash seems to be off her game. It's not like him to pry... He usually minds his own business and could care less about his cast members' personal lives. But Tyler felt like he owes it to Ash to be there for him. He reckoned they've kind of grown to each other, especially now that they've been doing more scenes together.

* * *

><p>"Shay? You ready?" Marlene asked.<p>

"Yep! I was born ready, Mommy," Shay said with a wink. Everybody's been accustomed to calling Marlene "mommy" especially Shay since she coined it for her.

"Ok, places then, sweetie." Marlene said while checking Shay's costume, making sure everything's perfect. "You know, Ash should've been here." Marlene said out of the blue. "I'm betting she'd tease you nonstop because you're dressed up as Pocahontas for the Halloween ep. She was the one who kept bugging me to make you dress as Pocahontas, anyway. Where's your girl?"

Shay's eyes widened at the mention of Ash as 'her girl'. She wasn't entirely sure if Marlene was just teasing her… Or if she was just being casual about it… Shay tried to let it go by convincing herself that she probably just added more color to what Marlene said than she should have…

"I… actually… " as if on cue, Shay's iPhone vibrated. She beamed as soon as she saw Ash' sent her a text message… "Mommy, can I take this? It won't take long, please?"

"Is that Ash?"

"Yes!" Shay said with a smile. Marlene gave her a meaningful look but Shay just dismissed it. Instead she playfully stuck out her tongue at Marlene and promised to her that she'll just talk to Ash for a bit.

Ash: Hi babe. Dinner in a few? xoxo

Shay: Yes, please! Where are you? I was looking for you… I was trying to call you, you know… : (

Ash smiled at the thought of Shay looking for her. It was a rather relief for her knowing that Shay's still looking forward to their dinner…

Ash: I'm sorry… I went outside. I was on the phone with Tyler. Meet you at my spot later?

Shay: What about my car?

Shay knew exactly where Ash' spot is.

Ash: We'll figure it out… ; )

Shay: Awww… Alright. Gotta go. Almost done here… See you in a few. Miss youuu! Xoxo

Ash: Miss you more…

Shay left her iPhone on the table and started with her scenes…

* * *

><p>Ash couldn't make up her mind... restless even. She was just in the lot like everybody else but she preferred to go off the radar as soon as she was done with her scenes. Her crew buddies have been buzzing her non-stop, looking for her, but she has been deliberately ignoring them. She was rather ashamed of herself for dismissing Tyler a while ago. She knew Tyler was just trying to reach out but she just doesn't feel like talking.<p>

Finally Ash went to her favorite spot on the lot. People don't really frequent on her spot… Probably because it's usually dark in that area and was rather considered as a stock room for unused costumes and props… Ash just likes the fact that she can go to a place somewhere quiet anytime even if she's at the lot working. She's only brought one person here… Shay.

* * *

><p>"Okay, guys! Good job! Pack up! Tomorrow we'll have our last table read and we'll do a couple more scenes, okay?" Marlene announced after Shay's scene. Everybody nodded in agreement and bid and hugged each other goodbyes.<p>

Shay let out a smile and was happy to know that everybody's almost done with their scenes. Everybody seems to be happy too especially now that the show will be in hiatus. It seemed like the cast and crew already cooked up some plans for their upcoming vacay.

Troian walked towards Shay and found her busy rummaging her bag, as if she lost something important. Troian grinned at the thought that Shay must have tossed her bag twice already. She's betting she misplaced her iPhone again…

"Hey there, Pocahontas, looking for something?" Troian teased, seeing Shay hasn't changed from her Pocahontas costume. It seemed to her that changing clothes was the least of Shay's concern.

She didn't get any response from Shay. Shay was still busy tossing her bag and her stuff looking for something…

"Shay!" Troian cleared her throat and slightly raised her voice to get her attention.

Shay looked at her with disbelief, immediately changing her expression from shock to frantically worried… relieved even that Troian came to her.

"Oh, Troi! I'm so, so sorry I didn't notice you. Have you seen my charm bracelet? The one where it says "love"? You've seen that before, right? The one that I usually wear after my shoot? How about my iPhone? Did you see it? Can you ring it for me please? I don't remember where I put it. Oh gosh! What izzz happening?" Shay said frantically, worried because she's already late for her dinner with Ash.

Troian crossed her arms and teased Shay, "You're well aware you're just 24 but you're showing early signs of dementia already."

"You're not helping…" Shay said helplessly.

"Ow! I'm sorry… too soon? Okay, chill… Let me ring your iPhone first and then we'll look for your bracelet, okay? Maybe Lucy saw your iPhone but I'd have to call her since she left already." Troian said.

"Oh my god, I put my iPhone on vibrate mode! How will I find it now?" This time Shay sat on her chair feeling defeated by her clumsiness. She rested her forehead on her right palm. She's worried that Ash may have been trying to get a hold of her already. She's been looking for her iPhone and her bracelet for almost half an hour already.

Troian grabbed her Blackberry and tried calling Shay's phone. It didn't take long for Troian to see that the other table's vibrating and figured immediately that it was Shay's iPhone that's probably causing it. The other table was full of pile of clothes though, "no wonder Shay couldn't find it," she thought to herself. Troian walked a few steps away from where she was standing and continued calling Shay's iPhone until she got a hold of it underneath the pile of clothes. "Where are you going?" Shay asked.

"Getting your iPhone, what else?" Troian said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Oh…" Shay on the other hand felt exhausted already. She's had a long day doing her scenes… She felt like it was already bad enough that she and Ash haven't spent a lot of time together these past few days. She didn't want to add any more reason for Ash to feel upset especially now that she's running late. Truth be told, all she'd want to do is to spend the night with Ash for dinner downtown.

Troian walked back to Shay's spot and handed to her her iPhone. She extended her left hand holding Shay's iPhone, but Shay immediately stood and thanked her with a tight hug. "Um, you can let go of me already? I got your iPhone now," Troian let out a laugh while saying it.

"You have no idea how many times I looked for it," Shay said with a relief. "Oh wait! I haven't found my bracelet yet."

"You mean this?" Troian smirked while she showed off her right hand holding Shay's charm bracelet.

"Where'd you find it?" Shay asked in disbelief.

"At your bag's back pocket, where else?"

"Huh? But it wasn't there when I was looking for it. I checked that pocket twice. Oh, thrice, I think," Shay said in confusion.

"Well you know things, they like to show up when you're not looking for them."

Troian was the only person who knows exactly where Shay puts her charm bracelet. She had a hunch on who gave that bracelet to Shay during their 2011 New Year celebration but she'd rather keep it to herself. Troian can still vividly remember what she witnessed during their New Year celebration but she never mentioned to anyone what she saw Shay and Ash were doing. She never really bothered. She figured it's not her business to do so and if Shay and Ashley didn't want to keep it as a secret, other people would've known already including Lucy.

"Here you go forgetful-Shay. At least you didn't lose your car in the parking lot… again." Troian teased.

"Nice one!" Shay pouted while she crossed her arms and sat down.

Troian recalled when Shay called her for help. She also remembered that Shay tweeted she couldn't find her car. She was relieved to know that Alex went to Shay to rescue her. She would've done the same if only she wasn't on the other side of the city with her boy friend. She was a bit curious though as to why Shay called for Alex' help instead of Ashley's. Normally, Shay would call for Ash help and Ash would immediately run to Shay's side…

For Troian, Shay and Ash were interdependent to each other whether they admit it or not. She sees it in them. Scratch that. She's seen it since Day One. She was kinda hoping others would see what she has observed so far between Shay and Ashley. But she was rather content knowing she sees things between the two that not a lot of people had really noticed. She was in fact enjoying what she's been witnessing so far…

Shay interrupted her thoughts when she asked, "are you going home already?"

"Oh, me? Nopes. You know, girl friend duties." Troian said with a grin.

Shay nodded. She knew that by "girl friend duties", Troian meant she'd be spending the rest of the day with her boyfriend. Shay and Troian used to hang out a lot before especially on weekends watching movies or just dining out. But that changed eventually when Troian started spending more time with her boy friend. Shay was okay with it though... If she and Troian did not spend less time together before, she probably wouldn't have started hanging out with Ashley.

Shay checked her phone and got worried when she saw ten text messages and 5 missed calls from Ash. The only words on Ash' text message were "where are you?" in uppercase letters. By now, Ash has been waiting for her for almost an hour already. She immediately dialed Ash' number…

Shay: "Im so, so, sorry… I couldn't remember where I put my iPhone again."

Ash: "Bet you also lost your bracelet, did you?" Ash said not trying to hide the fact that she's upset.

Shay: "I… No, I mean… Yes, I did. I just… Well Troian helped me look for it. Dinner still?" Shay said while crossing her fingers, hoping she could make up to Ash soon as they meet.

Ash: "Of course… Go to my spot. I'll wait for you."

Ash said, changing her tone of voice this time, unable to stay mad at Shay…

"Yes, bosss!" Shay said with a smile and then the line went dead.

Ash was sure Shay said "yes, bosss" with a smile, she couldn't help but smile back even if Shay couldn't see her.

"Dinner… Here we go…" Ash said… Trying to relax her self… Trying to muster some courage for a dinner she was actually trying to avoid.

* * *

><p><strong>PS: <strong>**Fun fact... Troian and Keegan do have a picture of them holding their iPads. Just look it up on tumblr. And there's actually a picture of Shay with her charm 'love' bracelet. I just couldn't find it in my files. I'll post it once I see it. = l**

**Don't forget to hit the review button! :P I know you want to. Xoxo G**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Shay! Wait! Shay!" Keegan said while rushing to Shay, trying to keep up with her pace. Shay on the other hand was walking briskly, trying to find her way to Ash' spot. She mentally made a checklist and made sure she got everything with her—bag, iPhone, and charm bracelet… "All set then," Shay reassured herself.

She could tell already that Ash is upset because she's late for their dinner. Her iPhone hasn't stopped vibrating from getting calls and text messages. She meant to answer those but she figured it would be better to apologize to Ash personally. She was already trying to gather her thoughts, trying to find a way to pacify the already upset Ash…

Shay was so consumed with her thoughts, she was surprised when she felt someone else's hand captured hers, tugging her to stop from walking. She knew exactly whose hand it is… from the moment it made contact with hers, it automatically made her feel secured and serenely happy, if ever that makes sense… "Keegs?" Shay asked when she turned to face him.

"For a girl who's on a 5-inch heels, you seriously walk fast," Keegan said while he let out a nervous laugh. He secretly hoped Shay wouldn't read into his nervousness on being close to her… or alone with her for that matter. Keegan took a deep breath, still not letting go of Shay's hand and asked, "are you going home already?"

"Um… No. Uh, not yet. What's up?

"Aww… Shay… are you… can i? Can we…" Keegan tried to gather his words but he couldn't stop from mumbling.

"What is it?" Shay waited for his response but Keegan seemed to be looking for the words to say to her.

"Nothing…. I… I… just wanted to have dinner with you if you're not heading home yet…." Keegan said with his boyish smile, the kind of smile that just makes you want to smile back automatically. This time Keegan was still holding her hand, gently stroking it back and forth with his thumb… Shay was grateful for that little gesture; it somehow eased her up and made her less feel stressed out especially from work. Although she was quite sure Keegan was also doing it for himself, probably trying to ease up the tension that he's feeling at the moment… or maybe nervousness—Shay wasn't really sure.

"I'm actually having dinner with Ash in a bit. The usual… Keegs? I'm… really late for our dinner." Shay secretly apologized to Keegan for cutting him short on what he was trying to say. But Ash is already upset waiting for her and she didn't want to add any more fire to it.

"I just wanted to make sure you're all set to go… Let me walk you to your car. Or I can just drop you off to wherever you guys are having dinner? I brought my bike with me * coughs * *Harley Davidson * You know how much girls drool over cute boys on a big bike," Keegan said playfully. Keegan's pleading tone didn't escape Shay's ears though. She knows he wants to spend time with him. She can feel it… She'd love to do so… "But Ash… She's been waiting for me for an hour already" Shay reasoned out to herself.

"I'm sorry, Keegs… I'm really late for our dinner… Next time?" Shay wasn't really trying to make up an excuse and she hoped that Keegan felt the sincerity behind what she said. It's just that she's been late for an hour already…. And she knows that the last meal that Ash had was during lunch with her and the rest of the crew.

"Of course, princess… Next time wouldn't be a problem." Keegan said with a smile. "Princess" was Keegan's term of endearment for Shay since he met her. She never really bothered to ask why but she enjoys hearing Keegan call her "princess".

"I'm sorry," Shay said with all honesty… "I gotta go."

"Okay…" Keegan's voice was lower than usual… trying to hide his disappointment. Instead he tried to mask it by looking into Shay's eyes, giving her the best smile he can. "Go… thought you're running late already…"

"Keegs, my hand? You gotta let go of my hand…" Shay teased.

"Oh! Um, yeah! Hand… yeah, that. Sorry." Keegan let go of her hand and found himself scratching his head, trying his best not to blush in front of Shay because of his blunder… both then broke into laughter trying to break the tension slowly growing between the two of them. "Go… she's waiting." Keegan said meaningfully. Shay turned her back and headed straight to Ash' spot. Meanwhile Keegan didn't move from where he's standing… He waited 'til Shay's figure vanished from his sight.

* * *

><p>Ash has been trying to reach Shay nonstop. She lost count how many times she has called her and sent her text messages asking her where she is already. She reasoned that her spot isn't that far away from where Shay was supposed to be doing her scenes. And she wondered what could've kept her for so long. She has been busying herself with her iPhone, shuffling from one song to another, skipping from one video to another... She tried calling Ryan to keep her company but she couldn't reach him. She figured Ry might be hanging out with JB… Ash couldn't remember if Ry and JB were supposed to be hanging out tonight or last night. She didn't really care.<p>

Shay on the other hand saw a figure on Ash' secret spot… She knew immediately it was her. She likes seeing that familiar face whenever, wherever… She honestly can't remember how many times she's been with Ash on that spot. "So many memories…" Shay recalled with a sweet smile.

In Shay's perspective, it seemed that Ashley is sitting comfortably on her spot with her headset plugged in to her ears. She reckoned it's what Ash usually does whenever she's waiting for her. Shay tried to gather her thoughts… trying to come up with ways on easing up Ash' anger. She already figured out how and she hoped that it'd work. Shay grinned at the thought and couldn't be any more excited to see Ash' reaction—and finally get to be with her again after a long day at work.

From where Ash is sitting, one can barely see what the other may be wearing. You can only come up with a figure… and Ash knew exactly it was Shay walking briskly towards her direction. Sure, she was upset over Shay being late again… but she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the thought of Shay coming for her… Or spending the rest of the day with her after work…

"Ash!" Shay hurried to Ash and threw her arms around her, hugging her tight, endlessly muttering the words "I'm so sorry…"

"Shannon! You do realize you made me wait for over an hour. I'm so hungry, I can eat two cows already!" Ash complained.

"I'm so sorry… Hang on, eating two cows is cruel and I'm not always late." Shay said defensively, although she can admit that there is a degree of truth to what Ash said. She's often late whenever they have to meet up… It's not that she was trying to test Ash' patience or anything like it… But she often gets caught up with something…

"Wait, I have something to show you." Shay interrupted Ash thoughts. "Light up your iPhone, hurry," Shay continued. "Light it up on me…"

Ash did what she was told immediately… and whatever amount of pent up annoyance she felt for Shay for making her wait is now all washed up…

"Oh my gawd, Shannon!" Ash laughed uncontrollably. "You walked with your Pocahontas costume on? Did you forget to change your clothes or did you not change on purpose?"

Shay was glad it was dark… She didn't have to hide her face blushing from embarrassment… "Ow! That was mean!" Shay crossed her arms, pouted her lips, looking like a 5-yr old kid who's been picked on by a bully… By now, Ash is still laughing at Shay's silliness. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Well… Hear me out… I was on a hurry, okay? I'm not gonna say I forgot to change my clothes because I was rushing… But theoretically, I may have forgotten it…" Shay said defensively. "And I wanted you to see me again on my Pocahontas costume. I'm sure you're not gonna make me forget how much you want me to Poca-nize."

"Sure, Pocahontas on a 5-inch heel. That's a modern twist," Ash said after she playfully stuck out her tongue towards Shay.

"Meanie! No wonder the universe always finds a way to make me end up late for our meetings… You're so mean!" Shay said with a giggle.

In truth, Shay did forget to change her clothes because she was in a lot of hurry… For a moment, she secretly blamed Keegan for not telling her that she should've changed her clothes when they were talking… But it at least worked to her advantage. It lightened up Ash… and Shay was just extremely grateful her accidental plan of showing up as Pocahontas worked.

Ash doesn't know anyone who has tried her patience more than Shay ever did. She's usually impatient and short tempered, but with Shay… it's different. She chuckled at the realization that Shay can make her wait for an hour or even more, when she actually gets mad even at her mom for not being on time whenever they're up for lunches and whatnots. She suddenly remembered the first time she told Shay that she'd be the perfect Pocahontas…

_Ustream flashback…_

"_Has anyone ever told me I look like Pocahontas?" Shay said in response to a question asked during their live Ustream._

"_I tell her every time. I told her she looks like Pocahontas… I call her Poca," Ash said in a teasing matter-of-fact-tone. _

"_She's never called me Poca… Ever… Whatever…" Shay said defensively. She never really thought of herself as Pocahontas but a lot of her fans have been telling her she'd be perfect for it… She now likes the idea of being Pocahontas only because Ash liked it…_

_Ash: "If they did a Pocahontas in real life, Shay would be her. Which Disney character would I be in real life? And why?"_

"_And why?" Shay echoed._

_Ash: "What Disney character would I be?"_

"_I know. I say Alice in Wonderland." Shay said with a smug tone. As if hinting Ash that she's perfect as Alice…_

_Ash was secretly giddying in her head… She was glad she could hide her emotions well especially now that they're live on Ustream… And she liked how Shay said that'd she'd be perfect as Alice, as if whatever or whoever argues with Shay on her not being Alice will just be deemed as an invalid argument._

"_Okay, Sleeping beauty…" Ash said in an agreeing tone with her fans, and continued "Alice… Or Cinderella? Rapunzel? Interesting… Alice…" Ash remembered how Shay possessively said that she's perfect as Alice. Ash continued, "Cinderella… Beauty…" _

_Ash looked at Shay when she mentioned Beauty but she wasn't sure if Shay understood what she was actually trying to say—that she's just as beautiful as Beauty and would be perfect for the role nonetheless. She secretly hoped Shay picked up what she wanted to say… Ash couldn't care less that they're doing a live Ustream. The only thing that mattered to her right that very moment is for Shay to fully comprehend what she was hinting when she mentioned Beauty. "Beauty… Pocahontas… Whatev, she'd still be perfect," Ash resolved to herself. _

Ash didn't realize she was still smiling because of what she just remembered and was just glad that they're on a dark spot otherwise Shay would see just how big of a smile is plastered on her face. "C'mon, Poca, let's have dinner. I'm starving already."

"Aye, aye boss!"

Ash stood up and held Shay's hand… and lead them both to her car…

This time, Shay didn't contradict Ash on calling her Poca. Shay immediately smiled the moment Ash held her hand… She could feel Ash' hand's familiar warmth… and just how it felt right to be interlocked with hers. She squeezed Ash' hand for a moment in response to Ash' gestures… Ash then held Shay's hand tighter and found herself leaning her head on Shay's shoulder while walking to her car… She was grateful that whatever restlessness she was feeling during the beginning of the night… is somehow almost gone… as if being with Shay was more than enough to make her feel at peace with her emotions.

"Late dinner coming right up!" said Ash.

Ash grabbed her keys and hit the unlock button for her Audi. She opened the car door for the passenger's seat and gestured Shay to come in. Shay was tad curious as to why she had to seat at the back. She thought that they're off to downtown for dinner.

Shay almost forgot again that she's still on her Pocahontas costume… "Ash, do you have extra clothes at your trunk? I need to change…"

Ash opened her trunk and handed shay a pair of shorts and her favorite Lakers tee shirt. "Am sorry… these are all I have."

"Do you mind if I change here then?" Shay said casually.

"Go ahead," Ash said absentmindedly while she was at the back of her car looking for the stuff that she bought for Shay and Foxy.

Shay removed her pony tails and found herself brushing her hair with her bare hands… She checked herself on the rearview mirror and when she was satisfied… She unzipped the side of her top and carefully removed it, replacing it with Ash' Lakers tee shirt. Shay smiled at the familiar smell of Ash' perfume. She was the one who picked it when they went to the mall back in January, almost a few days after their New Year celebration… Ash never bothered to change her perfume since. Shay then removed her skirt and wore Ash' shorts instead. "All set," Shay smiled at her accomplishment.

Unknown to Shay were Ash' eyes that deliberately tried to look away from her while she was changing her clothes…

Ash was delighted to see how her Lakers tee perfectly hugged Shay's body… That shirt was actually a bit lose on her but Shay's height and body difference with her worked to her advantage… Her Lakers tee looked more like a glammed up fit shirt for Shay than a lose house cloth on hers. Ash was feeling embarrassed for feeling butterflies in her stomach while she watch Shay change her clothes at the corner of her eye… She can't help it… She tried to stop from looking and tried making herself busy by looking for the stuff that she bought for Shay and Foxy but she simply couldn't stop herself from staring at Shay… "She's so beautiful," Ash said after she heaped a deep breath… Feeling rather content at the beauty unfolding in front of her. She secretly hoped Shay didn't catch her staring… she didn't really mean to…

What Ash didn't realize is that Shay was fully aware that she was secretly looking at her while she was changing her clothes… Shay didn't mind though… Instead, she changed her clothes slower than usual on purpose, letting Ash enjoy watching her change… Shay did so as if playfully teasing Ash... Shay beamed when she heard Ash say "she's so beautiful". Shay thought Ash must've been thinking she didn't hear her say it…

Shay stepped out from the car… She cleared her throat to make her presence known to Ash who seemed rather pensive… She's now bare foot making their height difference rather insignificant… She's now almost just a few inches away from where Ash is standing… Ash tried to hide her surprise and turned her head immediately towards the direction where she heard Shay's voice. This time… their faces close to each other, their eyes meeting each other's gaze, their lips just few inches away…

Shay broke the growing sexual tension between them and asked Ash, "thought you're hungy?"

"Huh?" Ash cleared her throat, "Aww yeah. Let's eat. I brought us pizza and cupcakes," Ash said happily. "And I also brought you these," Ash raised her left hand holding two plastic bags—one bag full of clothes and toys for Foxy, the other bag filled with two dresses she picked out downtown yesterday.

The two sat on the passenger's seat, happily munching on the food that Ash brought for the two of them. When done, Shay gestured to Ash that she has to go home because she has to be early for the shoot tomorrow… Ash on the other hand was done with her scenes already. Shay cleaned up their food and put all their trash back to the plastic bag.

"Should I just leave it here?" Shay asked, referring to the trash.

"Yeah. I'll take care of it babe." Ash said. "C'mon, I'll walk you to your car."

"Ash, you do realize my car's parked just 5 cars away from yours…" Shay said with a smile. "You don't have to walk me to my car. I can find it on my own."

"Ha! Really? So that's why you panicked last time because you couldn't find your car at the parking lot?"

"Hey! No fair! I swear I was sure where I parked my car; I'm sure someone must've moved my car. Maybe A was messing with me."

"A? You're blaming A now? Like seriously?" Ash let out a faint laugh and continued teasing her, "you do understand A is just fictional character and nobody has really seen him, her, it, whatever on the set."

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe you're A. Maybe that's why you couldn't rescue me when I lost my car… Maybe you parked it somewhere else since you have my spare key. I had to ask Alex' help because I couldn't get a hold of you. You were the first person I called, you know…" Shay said, unconsciously changed her tone of voice from teasing to disappointment. She honestly wished it was Ash who rescued her but she couldn't get a hold of her. Ash cringed at the sound of Alex' name. Until now, she hasn't forgiven herself for not being able to rescue Shay when she needed her…

Ash tried changing the topic… "C'mon, I'll walk you." Ash said while extending her hand towards Shay's direction, waiting for Shay to grab hers... Shay dutifully responded to Ash and interlocked her fingers with Ash'.

It only took them a few minutes to get to Shay's car. Shay could feel Ash mood has suddenly changed… She wasn't sure if it was because she mentioned about the car incident… She thought to herself, "sometimes it's so hard to read what's going on Ash' mind."

Ash took from her pocket Shay's spare car key and opened the driver's door for her… She hesitated whether to ask or tell Shay what's been bothering her these past few days. Shay on the other hand was feeling antsy about Ash' sudden change of mood.

Shay sat on the driver's seat… Ash automatically leaned down and buckled her up… their faces closer than ever… they were locked into a gaze 'til Ash broke her silence and finally asked… "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Shay asked out of curiosity.

"That you're moving in with Alex." Ash said in a matter-of-fact tone, trying to hide the unfamiliar kind of hurt and jealousy that she felt when she learned that Shay's moving in with Alex. What disappointed her more was that she only learned about it through her fans' tweets, asking her if she was aware that Shay's moving in with Alex… Ash on the other hand knew Shay was house hunting with Alex. But it never occurred to her that they'd actually push through with the plan.

Shay tried to come up with an explanation but she couldn't mouth the words that she wanted to say… She had a hint that Ash was bothered by something but she couldn't be too sure. She didn't realize til now that her moving out with Alex actually bugged her… Now it's making more sense to her as to why Ash hasn't been herself lately… Why Ash seemed so distant even if they were together these past few days… "Ash…" Shay said, turning her direction to where Ash was supposed to be…

But Shay was too late… Ash was already walking away with her headset plugged in to her ears… Whatever explanation Shay has…. It would have to wait.

* * *

><p><strong>PS: Thanks, thanks much for the awesome reviews and responses here and on twitter… Keep the reviews comin'! I appreciate 'em! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much I did! : )<strong>


	4. Chapter 3

**A special shout out to _Shayleychillin_ who's been very supportive of this fic since day one. Thank you for always taking time to review my Chapters ; ) Thank you also to those who have favorit-ed and added my fic to their story alerts… It's a nice feeling that there are people out there who appreciate my work. It definitely keeps me motivated on continuously working on this fic. I hope you guys would also take some time to review my story... **

**From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the support! **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Flashback… Sept 5, '2011

Based on Mrs. Benson's tweet in real life:

Shannon Benson: Waiting for hubby to get home. He is going to bbque some yummy food! Grilling your food saves calories. Love the grilled vegies & potato's.

5 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply

_It was a sunny Monday afternoon and Mrs. Benson is just glad she could have her family for herself today. Ash finished early with her scenes today while Ash' sister, Shaylene, will be finished with her practice in an hour.__ Mr. Benson will also be joining them in a few. He's just in a convention at the moment… He promised the girls that he'd grill some bbq for them. Mrs. Benson on the other hand decided to top it off with salad, grilled veggies and potatoes. Meanwhile __Ash's hands are busy with her iPhone, flipping from one picture to another-Ash' old habit. _

"_You should have asked her," Mrs. Benson said while she was preparing their lunch._

"_Ask who what?" Ash said inattentively, eyes and fingers still fixed on her iPhone._

"_Shay." _

_Mrs. Benson got into a pensive state the moment she mentioned "Shay"… _

_Ash wouldn't stop talking about her since the first day that she met her. And she knew right there and then that she would like Shay… She was extremely happy when Ash made an effort to introduce Shay to her and to Shaylene last year. She was even amused at the fact that Shay's name was a combination of all of their names—she's Shannon, they call her daughter Shaylene 'Shay' and then there's Ashley which turns out to be Shay's second given name. _

_Mrs. Benson could tell Shay has a kind heart, beautiful inside and out... And although neither Ash nor Shay may have noticed it, but she could see that they both bring out the best in each other… and that they always have the best smile for each other… She secretly thanked the Man up there for bringing Shay into Ash' life, and vice versa…_

"_What about Shay?" this time Ash has her full attention on her mom, unconscious that she interrupted Mrs. Benson's thoughts. _

_Mrs. Benson snapped back to reality and continued, "Oh, sweetie, you know exactly what I'm talking about."_

"_No, I don't, mother. You tell me," Ash said defensively. She's been trying hard to cover up her jealousy over Shay's plan to move in with Alex but it seemed like the more she hides it, the more people notice it—especially her mom. _

"_I was just thinking… You should've asked her to move in with you when you had the chance to. You two are inseparable on and off cam. When we went to the Lakers game before, I honestly thought you were gonna bring her home and have her meet your dad. I was actually surprised that you didn't. Well, disappointed may be a more proper term." Mrs. Benson said in a matter-of-fact tone, as if trying to stress to Ash that she should've made a move a long time ago. _

_Ash was supposed to say "because I got scared, that's why". Instead she found herself saying, "mom, don't you think it would be awkward to just storm our house and tell dad 'oh hey dad, here's Shay, she's my best friend.' You know he's not used to it. And besides, she said they were just planning on moving in together. It didn't occur to me that they'd really go with it."_

"_Ash, baby could you please pass the salad?" Ash obediently passed the salad to her mom... She was amused at her mom trying to multitask—whipping up their lunch and giving her usual 'motherly advice'. "Where the hell is Shaylene? I'm on a hot seat because she's not here," Ash secretly complained to herself._

_Mrs. Benson continued, "well as I was saying, we don't get to meet your friends a lot. Last time you introduced a 'best friend' to me was back in grade school and the only thing you both had in common was your love for chocolate, and ironically that was also the same thing that made you two grow apart."_

"_But mom, I was ten that time. And you know I like having more guy friends than girl friends. I don't wanna get too involved…" _

"_My point," Mrs. Benson said while raising both of her hands, as if trying to tell Ash she's not trying to argue but she just wants to make a point... She could sense that Ash is getting uncomfortable with their talk but she felt compelled to push Ash a little harder especially on Shay…_

"_And you know Shay, when she wants something, she puts her heart and her mind to it… and this moving in thing with her friend is no exception to that fact. __And besides, I'm a ShayLey shipper, I like you two together, you know," Mrs. Benson teased, as if trying to lighten up the mood between her and Ash. _

_Ash' eyes widened when she heard her mom say "Shayley" but it brought her a different kind of happiness—hearing her mom rooting for her and Shay, riding her fans and Shay's fans' craziness…_

"_Mom! Oh my god! Where did you learn that? Who told you about this whole 'ShayLey' shipping thing?"_

"_I have my sources," Mrs. Benson said with a wink. Both ladies cracked into a joyous laughter at their silliness, looking like fan girls grinning at the mention of "Shayley ship"…_

_Mrs. Benson shifted into a serious tone and continued, "you know baby, you had your chance but you blew it. I was rooting for you. I wanted you two to be together... I was... waiting for you to ask Shay to move in with you but you never did… or tried, at least." _

"_I did try," Ash said in a low voice… almost inaudible to Mrs. Benson's ears. _

* * *

><p>"What are you looking at?" Lucy asked Troian out of curiosity. She noticed that Troian has been looking intently at Shay, Keegan and Ash on the other end of the room. Lucy shifted her eyes to where Troi's eyes' are… Yet she still can't find anything out of the ordinary among the three… Ash was just sitting closely beside Shay while Keegan was standing while talking to them. "But that's so normal," Lucy cooed, as if convincing herself that there isn't really anything more to whatever the three are doing.<p>

"Troi?" Lucy tried to get Troian's attention again but she was looking at the three as if she's deciphering their words and their gestures. Lucy figured Troi has this 'look' on her face again—as if she has finally decoded the answer to whatever puzzle she was trying to solve. "She's so Spencer Hastings," Lucy chuckled at the thought.

Troian could hear Lucy clearly. She didn't mean to be rude but her attention was inadvertently focused on the three. This time, Troian's facial expression shifted from 'calculating moves' to 'I knew I was right all along' face. She's always had a hunch over what's happening on the three. Troian reasoned out to herself that she didn't really need a bunch of guesses... She just needed actions to reaffirm it. And that's exactly what she's seeing right now. She then turned her face towards Lucy's and told her directly...

"Denial. That's what I'm looking at," Troian said with utter conviction.

"Deni—what? Who's in denial? What is? Wait, is that our new ep's title?" Lucy asked, more confused than ever.

* * *

><p>A couple of hours after…<p>

Keegan found Shay sitting on the couch, absentmindedly tapping her iPhone with her fingers… Shay seemed to be lost in her thoughts, her eyes rather sad and pensive... He debated with himself whether he would approach her or not. He felt like Shay's mind is preoccupied with something… He didn't want to come off rude by barging in and approaching her right there and then… He was still quite embarrassed on how he mumbled like a shy junior high the other night-asking Shay out for dinner. Yet whatever he reserved for himself, his feet felt otherwise… He found himself walking towards Shay, meeting her gaze with his boyish smile…

"Hi princess!" Keegan said, nudging Shay on the side, asking to make room for him on the couch... Keegan shivered at their initial physical contact. It was a brief encounter… his left arm brushed against Shay's right arm. Yet it was more than enough to make him feel butterflies in his stomach again…

"Oh, hey there," Shay answered with a faint smile.

Keegan couldn't think of anything to say to Shay. Scratch that… he actually knew what he wants to tell her… it's just that he always finds himself lost for words whenever he's with Shay. It's like he's under some sort of spell and would rather be lost in Shay's bubble than say the words that he always meant to.

"Do you wanna have dinner?" Shay asked, still looking preoccupied and impatiently tapping his fingers on her iPhone.

"Sure. Your car or my bike?" Keegan asked. He tried to hide his sudden urge of excitement, not wanting to give out too much to Shay.

Silence.

"Shay?"

"Huh?"

"You said dinner? Your car or my bike?" Keegan repeated.

"Ow! Yes, sorry. Um, dinner. Your bike." Keegan flustered at the sight of Shay… for a brief moment, he saw a smile crept out of her beautiful lips. Keegan couldn't help but beam at the thought of spending more time with Shay even if it's just for dinner.

Keegan felt like he had an idea of what may have been bothering her but he'd rather not pry. It pained him to see Shay looking preoccupied these past few days… There's nothing else that he'd want to than be with her off set. It's already bad enough that they don't get to do together as many scenes as they used to but he was thankful nonetheless for having Shay around. Keegan tried to dismiss these nagging thoughts and instead focused on the reality that he's having dinner with Shay… And for Keegan, that was more than he could ask for.

Meantime, Troian was feeling a little restless after walking out on Lucy. She saw Shay sitting beside Keegan, both seemed to be having a talk… She's glad that Keegan is always around for Shay whenever, wherever… And today is not an exception for that.

She wanted to join the conversation of the two but both seemed engrossed with each other… Sure, Shay was looking at Keegan, but her mind seemed to be elsewhere. Troian observed that Keegan seemed like he has an idea on who or what may have caused Shay on being not her usual self these past few days… She actually admired Keegan for not pushing it with Shay and for respecting her privacy… She figured… Shay will talk… whenever she's ready. It didn't escape Troian though the sight of Shay still tapping her fingers on her iPhone absentmindedly… as if waiting for a call or a text message…

Troian felt compelled to fix the 'unspoken rift' between Shay and Ashley but she always ends up reasoning out to herself that 'it's not her business' to do so. It somehow pains her that two of her closest friends seem to be having an FQ and neither of them actually wants to acknowledge it or do something about it…

Shay saw Troian looking intently at her and Keegan but she couldn't really care less. She reckoned Troian has always had intense eyes and whatever it is that may be going on in her mind, Troian would often keep it to herself. Shay was happy enough that Keegan is sitting beside her… trying his best to cheer her up, making an effort to make her smile… Shay's slowly feeling that familiar feeling of security and at peace whenever he's with Keegan… And for that, she was utmost grateful.

* * *

><p>"Has anyone seen Shay and Troian? How about Ashley?" Marlene asked her crew but almost everybody answered her with a shrug.<p>

Marlene noticed that Shay and Ashley have been distant with each other for almost a week already. She's getting a little worried that it might affect the two's working relationship on set. Marlene is grateful though that both Shay and Ashley are always very professional... One can rarely recognize onscreen if the two are having a rift…

What also bothered her is that the two may usually have these "unspoken rift" but it doesn't really take long for them to patch up. She could feel the tension between the two especially when they are filming their scenes together or with the other cast members… She wanted to do something about the whole Shay/Ashley thing but she resorted to not doing so... She figured Ash and Shay always ends up patching up things with each other… She's just a little worried this time because their fans are also noticing that Shay and Ash haven't been together in pictures and apparently haven't tweeted each other for days—something she also finds unusual.

Marlene wanted to intervene… To point out a couple of things to both girls but reason won over her heart… She resorted to leaving the two alone, keeping her fingers crossed that whatever the two is fighting about, will be fixed soon enough…

* * *

><p>One of the crews pointed Marlene to Shay and Troian's direction… Ash was still nowhere to be found…<p>

"So, Ash hasn't talked to you yet eh?" Troian asked casually, careful not to hit a nerve on Shay.

Instead of Shay answering her back, she grabbed her iPhone and showed her screen to Troian showing…

_[ Ash' tweet in real life ] AshBenzo Ashley Benson: Can't wait to help you decorate shaymitch Neighbors. Yayyy_

_23 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

"Isn't that a good thing? I mean, at least she tweeted you?"

Shay could feel her eyes burning already… She deliberately tried to hide the tears that she's been trying to stop from falling… But having Troian's presence allowed her to put her guards down and just let it all go... Her eyes welled and the next thing she knows Troian's arms were wrapped on her body trying to comfort her…

Shay was grateful Troian's with her right this very moment… It's like Troi already knows what's happening and she's just waiting for her to talk… To be ready… Troian was Shay's steady rock. And this rift between her and Ash is already taking its toll on her… Exhausting her even. She could use a little help, comfort... especially from Troian who's been nothing but a great friend to her since day one.

"So this is what's bothering Shay… Ash. I knew it," Troian secretly thought to herself. "Hey, sweetie… Don't cry… People might think I'm doing something wrong to you. You'll be up for your scene in a few…" Troian said, trying to lighten up Shay but to no avail. Instead she resorted to gently rubbing Shay's back, trying to pacify her… Shay instead silently cried while wrapped in Troian's embrace…

"What did you say to her?" Troian couldn't help but ask out of curiosity.

Shay moved a bit and showed her iPhone to Troian again… She showed her reply to Ash' tweet…

_[ Shay's tweet in real life ] shaymitch Shay Mitchell: AshBenzo ohhhhh yeahhh! I think a couple episodes of the 'Buttah Benzo' show could take place during that time too...! Hmmmmm...:)_

_23 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

Troian almost slipped telling Shay "well you looked happy on that tweet" instead she resorted to saying "that was it?"

"She didn't even mention Alex' name," Shay said briefly, referring to one of her best friends', DJ Alex. "Ash won't talk to me… She's sick…" Shay said in between her sobs.

_"Baby please don't go_  
><em>if I wake up tomorrow will you still be here<em>  
><em>I don't know<em>  
><em>if you feel the way I do<em>  
><em>if you leave I'm gonna find you"<em>

"She's sick? I didn't know that. Wait, aren't you gonna answer that?" Troian asked Shay, referring to Ash calling her on the other line… Troian knows that 'Please don't go' [by Mike Posner] was Shay's personal ring tone for Ash. It took some time for Shay to answer back… making her miss Ash' call.

Ever since that brief moment when Ash asked her why she didn't tell her sooner about the moving in thing… Ash treatment towards her has significantly changed…Ash hasn't tried waking her up for her early shoots… Normally when Shay has to shoot early, Ash would wake up earlier than her so she can call her and wake her up. Ash has also stopped calling in the morning to greet her… Ash also stopped taking pictures with her... It's like she doesn't exist in Ash' world…

Ash has been nothing but civil to her these past few days especially on set. The last time they spent some quality time together was when they had dinner at Ash' car. Shay has called Ash several times these past few days, asking her for a chance to explain her self but Ash wouldn't bulge. She thought she and Ash are okay already since they were talking to Keegan earlier today… But she was wrong… It seemed like Ash was just being civil to her… to Keegan… to everybody. She knows Ash is in pain… She wants them to go back to how they used to be… But that seemed liked a rather distant reality for now…

Shay feels like there's something more to it that just Ash being jealous over her moving in with Alex… She's exhausted... She can barely think clearly... She's literally and figuratively stressed out... She tried masking her 'Ash situation' on set by hanging out with other crew and lately with her onscreen mom, 'Momma Fields'.

She wasn't sure herself if she can talk to Ash and tell her how sorry she is about moving in with Alex… She wanted to tell her she meant to tell her about it sooner… Had she known Ash wouldn't approve of it, she wouldn't have otherwise done so. Shay was under the impression that Ash was okay with her moving in with Alex… She has lost count how many times she cried because of Ash. It never occurred to her it'd be that much of a big deal to Ash…

Shay looked at her iPhone and longingly looked at her screen… It didn't help that it showed her that she missed Ash' call… She felt a great amount of pain realizing that it's like they stopped being "Ash and Shay"…

Troian grabbed some tissues beside her and handed them to Shay. Shay in turn wiped her tears off, both eyes puffy now… Shay straightened herself up and heaped a couple of deep breaths, dialed Ash' number… not letting go of Troian's hand.

Ash picked up after a few rings. "Hey," Ash said blankly.

"Hey there... Your mom told me you went to the dentist… Are you still hurting?"

"Yeah. Still am," Shay wasn't sure if Ash actually referred to her toothache or if she meant otherwise…

"Listen, Ash…" Shay could feel her eyes burning again, unable now to stop her tears from falling… She continued, "I've been meaning to talk to you…"

"I'm fine." Ash said, cutting Shay off from what she was saying... And then Ash' line went dead.

* * *

><p><strong>PS: I personally feel that Shay and Ashley are having an FQ. That's where I actually based this chapter. I don't know… They've been so quiet lately. They haven't posted any picture of them together. And is it just me or what? I feel like they only tweeted each other because their fans have been tweeting them that they miss "ShayLey". Plus Ash has been hanging out with Ryan a lot lately… I could be wrong though. = l <strong>

**By the way,**** the scene where Mrs. Benson said Shay's name is a combination of her's, Ashley's and Shaylene's… I made her real life tweet as my reference for that… **

_1) shannonbenson Shannon Benson_

_Funny Fact: Shay Mitchell's real name Shannon Ashley Mitchell. She has both My name & Ashley's name :) So Ironic & they're good friend's._

_17 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

_2) shannonbenson Shannon Benson_

_and sometimes I call my daughter Shaylene - Shay! So needless to say Shay Mitchell has her name mixed with all three of us lol!_

_17 Sep Favorite Undo Retweet Reply_

**Check out Nia Peeple (Mrs. Fields on PLL) and Shay's real life tweets these past few days... They both said they've been hanging out on set a lot lately.**

**Also the last scene where Ash is in pain because of her toothache… I learned that on Ash' and her mom's real life tweets…. **

_1)_ _AshBenzo Ashley Benson_

_In the worst pain :/ blahh_

_23 SepFavorite Retweet Reply_

_2) shannonbenson Shannon Benson_

_Off to Ashley's for sleepover...She is not feeling well :( Hope she's better by tomorrow._

_23 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

_3) shannonbenson Shannon Benson_

_Ash is doin better 4 those askin! She had a flare up where her wisdom teeth were pulled out a 1yr.1/2 ago,very painful,antibiotics r workin._

_24 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

**And oh! I gotta admit there's been a coincidence with this Chapter and ShayLey's pictures on tumblr. Imagine my surprise when after uploading this Chapter... I checked my tumblr the day after and actually saw a pic of Shay and Ash sitting beside each other for their Halloween ep. The same thing goes for Mrs Benson's tweet... I found her tweets about their bbq day by accident after I wrote my scene for this Chap... With that being said, I made Mrs Benson/Ash/Bbq scene as a flashback in reference to Mrs Benson's real life tweet. **

**Wish I can post pictures here for easier reference. Anyhoo, if you're curious, just look it up on my tumblr. Same username: whothewhaat. Tagged those pictures "Pictures of you". Will update soon!  
><strong>

**Whoopsie! Sorry. My "PS" is longer than I intended it to be...**

**Don't forget to hit the review button! : )**


	5. Chapter 4

**A special shoutout for ShayPublicEmily, ShipShayley, ShayMitchUnite, Wacks and Rainrain23 for being sooo supportive of this fic... And to xTasteTheRainbowX, seriously! I'm super flattered you read my fic! *hands down*  
><strong>

**And to the rest of you guys who took time to read my fic/added me on author alert/story alert/favorites... Just 'wow'! Thank you! **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

"How are you holding up?" Troian asked while looking at Shay…

Shay looks like a mess today… She's listless most of the time… and she hasn't been her usual bubbly self. She usually starts small talks with the rest of the cast or the crew, but she hasn't done so in over a week… It felt like whenever she would talk, you could barely feel her behind her words.

She often looks extremely exhausted, eyes puffy most of the time… Had it not been for her love for sunglasses, people would've noticed that she's been wearing hers a lot lately not as a fashion statement but as a means of hiding the sadness in her eyes. And… whenever Shay thinks nobody is looking, Troian often catches her wiping the tears threatening to fall from the corner of her eyes…

"You know, I've been doing this a lot lately," Troian said while she handed Shay a box of tissues. She continued, "I better call my manager and have her book me a tissue advertisement because I, Troian Bellisario, would seriously nail it," and then she flashed her best I'm-not-being-sarcastic smile while she raised both of her arms and mockingly bowed in front of her imaginary audience.

"Maybe you should," Shay said flatly.

"Ow! Just kidding sweetie," Troian said, and then she shifted into a more serious tone… "It's just that… You've been crying a lot lately… People are starting to notice including Marlene… Sooner or later, they're gonna start asking questions, you know" Troian said while she heaved a deep breath. "I'm just saying, whatever it is that you two are fighting about, you guys better work it out… Uh, try… to work it out, I mean."

"We're not… fighting… She's just not… talking to me," Shay said while wiping her tears off. Troian looked at her as if she's already stated the obvious. She then grabbed a glass of water and handed it to Shay.

"Here, drink this first," Troian said.

"Thank you…"

"You've cried more than Emily Fields probably have in all of her episodes for Season 1 combined," Troian said, trying to cheer up Shay with her dark humor…

"No, I haven't," Shay said defensively. Although she realized there's probably a degree of truth on it. She's lost count how many times she cried over her 'Ash' situation… "Troi? Why do I feel like Ash is upset… and it's not just because I'm moving in with Alex? I feel like there's something more to it." Troian was sure it was more of a rhetorical question on Shay's end.

Shay continued, "I wanna know what it is… whatever it is that I may have done to upset her like that… I feel like I know why, but I don't? I just… want us to be 'Ashley and Shay' again like we used to…" Shay felt the sudden rush of pain when she said the latter statement, tears falling uncontrollably again…

Troian gently rubbed Shay's back to comfort her and answered, "I don't know, Shay… I wish I did. And… I… Well, for the lack of a better term, you're a mess, Shay. I don't know how else I'm gonna say it to you. Ash is a mess too… And if you want me to talk to her, I'll do it. I just…"

Troian was cut off by Shay's iPhone ringing… "Go ahead, answer it," Troian continued.

"It's Keegan..."

Shay was on the phone for a good 5 mins with Keegan…

"So? What did he say?" Troian asked out of curiosity.

"Um, nothing," Shay said flatly, still unable to regain her composure. Troian sensed Shay did not want to disclose any detail of the phone call. She didn't push it anyhow.

"Keegan's a good guy with a good heart, Shay." Troian said, shifting the topic to Keegan…

"I know…"

And just when Troian thought it would be impossible for Shay to smile again, the mere mention of Keegan made her so.

* * *

><p><em>Based on Shay's real life tweettweetvid:_

_shaymitch__ Shay Mitchell: __#Tuesdayfunday__ with __KeeganAllen__ ! __/wRdLHx_

_28 Sep__ Favorite Retweet Reply_

"I'll pick you up in 30, ok?" Keegan was in high spirit; happy he scored another day out with Shay... He's extremely grateful that he and Shay both finished early with their scenes today…

"Yep! I'll see you in a few," Shay said happily.

Keegan chuckled at the thought of Shay getting ready in 30 mins. He knows Shay would take longer than usual and 30 mins usually means an hour for her. He didn't mind though. As long as he gets to be with her whenever they can-that was more than enough for him.

He already has everything planned out for the day... He wanted it to be a surprise to Shay. After having dinner with her last night, he promised to her he'd take her out again the day after. He didn't tell her where... Shay tried asking him on the phone where they're going but he'd either just keep her guessing 'til she gives up or he'll just answer her with a smile…The kind of smile that tells you "we'll have fun but there's no way I'm gonna tell you where we're going." He's keeping his fingers crossed that Shay would have fun with him again... At least to keep her mind off of what's bothering her these past few weeks.

Shay must've tossed her room twice already. She's rummaged her closet for the 'right' clothes but she simply can't make up her mind. She wasn't sure either if she should just opt for something casual-ish for her day out with him... She thought of wearing a dress with her usual heels but she reasoned to herself she's not really going on a date with Keegan so maybe she should tone down her clothes for a bit… "Just two friends enjoying each other's company," Shay convinced herself, while looking for the clothes that she can wear…

She wasn't really a big fan of cliché-ish surprises. Sure, she appreciates it. And had it not been for Ash and Keegan who ironically both like to surprise her, she probably would've never gotten used to it… Shay recalled when Ash surprised her with dinner in her car almost a week ago... It saddened her that it was also the last time they spent time alone together. Thing is… whenever Ash is around, it's like she'd always make sure somebody else is around too... As if she doesn't want to be with her alone… And Shay can't deny the fact that she's hurting because of Ash' treatment to her.

Shay has lost count how many times she tried to reach out to Ash... She's tried to call her but Ash would just often cut her off. She can call herself lucky if she gets to be on the phone with Ash for more than 5 mins. She'd often send her text messages but she always gets almost the same answer from Ash-telling her she's out hanging out with Ryan or with her other friends. She thought of tweeting her, tell her how sorry she is for whatever it is that she's done to hurt her but she figured her fans might read more into it. She didn't want anyone jumping into conclusions when she herself doesn't even know the answers as to why Ash has been acting strange lately…

It pained Shay that Ash has been acting that way for over a week already… And her trying to reach out to her has been nothing but done in vain…

Shay's eyes twinkled the minute she saw the 'right' clothes... Just in time when she heard Keegan knock on her apartment's door.

"Hang on a minute!" Shay shouted, hoping Keegan heard her.

Keegan on the other hand stood patiently on the other end of the door. He could've easily used Shay's apartment's spare key to get in but he refused to do so. The least thing that he can do is be a gentleman and wait for Shay to come for him, open the door, and let him in…

Shay stopped at the mirror for the last time-doing her classic mirror face, making sure she's all set for her day out with Keegan. She was feeling happy today... grateful even for Keegan-for always being around, for always trying to keep her mind off of things...

Keegan heard some noise and he was quite sure it was Shay who probably just came out of her room... He laughed at the thought of Shay probably knocking over some things on her way to the door. She was clumsy like that.

Shay caught him laughing the moment she opened her door. Keegan immediately composed himself and couldn't stop himself from blushing for being caught off guard…

"Wow! You look so..."

"Emily-ish?" Shay said with a smile.

"I should be the one surprising you but you ended up surprising me first," Keegan said while he scratched his head.

Keegan couldn't' help but flash a big smile on Shay… She was for a fact wearing sneakers, jeans, and a white bohemian-inspired top with her favorite sunglasses. Keegan on the other hand is wearing a black pair of shorts and a black leather jacket over a white sando.

"Well, what can I say; I am a woman of surprises. Come in, Sir Keegan... I'll just grab something," and then Shay playfully curtsied in front of Keegan with her imaginary dress. Keegan gamely went on with Shay and bowed his head as a sign of respect. "She was right all along—a woman of surprises," Keegan thought to himself.

"Princess Shay" and "Sir Keegan" were more like their private term of endearment to each other. It all started when Keegan started calling her "Princess" after he spent the night at her apartment a few months ago. After which, Shay started calling him "Sir Keegan"…

Shay went back to her living room, opened a small drawer and grabber her 'love' charm bracelet… and headed back to where Keegan was standing…

"Shall we?" Keegan said with a charming smile, leaving his right arm extended to Shay, waiting for her to grab it…

Shay and Keegan walked together out of the building and was welcomed with a sunny and breezy afternoon—Shay's hand still clutched to Keegan's arms. They both unconsciously heaved a deep breath at the same time, secretly thanked the Man up there for giving them a great weather to begin the day with…

Keegan led Shay to where he parked his Harley Davidson bike; both playfully named it Sir Toby—named after Keegan's fictional character in Pretty Little Liars. Keegan carefully removed Shay's hand from his arm, grabbed the pink helmet that he specifically bought for Shay sometime ago and placed it on her head. Shay in response touched Keegan's face and gently caressed it for a moment, as if thanking him for taking her out amidst the mess that she has been these past few days… Keegan held Shay's hand and squeezed it briefly, rode his bike and prompted Shay to do the same. Shay instinctively put both of her hands to Keegan's broad shoulders but Keegan caught both of her hands and instead he wrapped both of her arms to his waist instead…

Shay couldn't help but savor this moment… She could smell Keegan's subtle perfume and she liked the fact that her body's pressed against Keegan's almost warm, stone-hard body. Shay's getting the familiar sense of security and serenity again that only Keegan could make her feel…

"No wonder Troian couldn't stop gushing over his abs," Shay thought to herself.

Keegan felt elated having Shay's arms wrapped around his waist… He didn't know if he was just imagining things but it felt like he could feel Shay's heartbeat… He thought bliss would be an understatement for what he's feeling right now… for getting to spend time with her again… for Shay letting him in… to her life… He wished he could keep Shay for himself… But he knows he that he can't…

"Where to?" Shay asked Keegan with a smile, arms still wrapped on Keegan's body.

"Santa Monica beach, princess." Keegan replied happily.

It didn't take long for the two to reach Sta. Monica. Keegan found a parking space for his bike almost a few feet from the bike rental. He stepped out from his bike and helped Shay remove her helmet… He instinctively helped Shay from getting off his bike while he held on to Shay's waist—lifting her off of the bike, with Shay's hand holding on to both of his arms leaning for support… Shay couldn't help but smile, noticing how strong Keegan's arms and how it seemed like he didn't have any troubles lifting her off of his bike…

"That was fun!" Shay said.

"We haven't event started yet," Keegan said with a wink. "Wait for me here."

Keegan walked to the bike rental station and handed out a couple bucks to the owner… He walked back to Shay patiently waiting for him… He was holding his bike on his left arm, Shay's on the other… Both rode their bikes, strolling the beach, enjoying the bright afternoon…

"Let's do a twitvid!" Shay said excitedly, as if she just had eureka moment. Both still riding their bikes on the beach…

"Are you kidding me? We're, uh, biking! How on earth are you gonna do that?" Keegan asked in disbelief.

"Watch me," Shay then took her iPhone from her bag and set up her iPhone's video cam…

"Shay, oh gosh, stop! Shay! You could get hurt," Keegan tried to stop Shay but she was already ahead of him…

_*Based on Shay's real life tweet vid with Keegan…._

_Shay: "Okay… And we're on. Hi everybody, we are in Sta. Monica right now and I'm with… Keegan!" she then focused her camera to Keegan who was also riding his bike, throwing his right fist on the air, acknowledging the video camera that Shay's holding… Keegan barged in and greeted everyone saying "Hey guys!"_

_Shay chuckled and continued, "We're doing this um, little tweetvid as we're riding bikes in Sta. Monica. It is so beautiful out today and uh we're taking advantage of the weather today so we thought to just say hello…" _

_Keegan then spoke and told everyone, "yes, and I wanted to thank everybody for 200,000 twitter followers…"_

_Shay then responded… "Yeyyy! _

"_Oh my gosh, that's amazing," Keegan said while he let out a few laughs…_

_Shay added, "that's awesome!"_

_Keegan continued, "thank you guys so much for the support" while he lifted his left arm showing everyone a thumbs up sign. _

_Shay said, "yes! And we hope you guys are also having a great day so we'll check in later… Bye!"_

"And that's a wrap!" Shay said excitingly.

"No wonder everybody's scared of your driving!" Keegan exclaimed.

"You mean, ?"

"No, princess… I meant 'everybody'. You're a crazy driver, you know that?"

"I do!" Shay flashed a huge smile on Keegan. He smiled back in defeat…

The two went on biking until something caught Shay's attention…

"Stop, Keegan! Stop!"

Shay stopped biking immediately leaving Keegan clueless on her plan… Keegan didn't have that much of a choice but to stop biking…

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Here, hold my bike and my bag. I'm gonna show you something!" Shay said while looking at a rope that's almost 30 ft. high.

"Hang on, you're not gonna climb that, are you?" He grabbed Shay's arm, trying to stop her…. But Shay wouldn't bulge. She instantly climbed the rope as soon as she got a hold of it…

Keegan gasped when he saw Shay all-game climbing to the top… "Shay! Get down here already! Pleaseeee!"

"I will… in a minute!" Shay shouted back.

Shay held her breath as she looked at the sight before her… There was Keegan on the ground… Waving endlessly to her, begging her to come down already… There were bikers in the area that noticed her and must've thought she's crazy for climbing that rope…

"Maybe I am… crazy," she let out a faint laugh at her silly thought.

Shay closed her eyes, took a deep breath, held on to the rope as tight as she could… For a moment, she felt lighthearted… Her heartbeat rather normal… Her soft, long hair brushing against her face… At some point, she felt free from all the exhaustion that she's been getting from work, from Ash…

"Ash…" It didn't take long til her tears blurred her sight… It's been nothing but a painful week for her. Ash hasn't spoken to her… And she always refuses to talk about what's bothering her.

"If only I can hold on to her as tight as I can… If only she'd let me…" Shay heaved a sigh and silently hoped that the wind would bring her tears to Ash…

* * *

><p>"Ashley, hon, where are you going? Your dentist said you should be resting. You just finished your shoot…" Mrs. Benson asked, surprised that Ash got up from her bed, wore the first set of clothes that she laid her hands on…<p>

"Mom, have you seen my car keys?" Ash asked, ignoring her mom's remarks…

"You left it on the table."

"Where are you going?"

"To Shay," Ash said firmly.

Ash hurriedly left before Mrs. Benson could ask any more questions….

Mrs. Benson noticed that Shay and Ash haven't spoke or hang out with each other for a while… She wanted to ask Ash about it… But she knows Ash more than anybody else… Mrs. Benson knows she will never say anything until she's ready to talk… "Just be careful…" were all the words that Mrs. Benson could mutter after she heard Ash start her car's engine…

Truth is… Ash saw Shay's tweet vid with Keegan… She was determined to go to Sta. Monica to see her. She didn't care whether she's with Keegan… All that matters to her now… is to see Shay… She felt like she's ready now… to talk… to let Shay know what she really feels…

It didn't take long for Ash to get to Sta. Monica beach and spot Shay and Keegan…

She thought she was ready to see Shay again… But nobody prepared her at the sight of Shay's hand holding on to Keegan's arm, head leaning on Keegan's shoulder, Keegan holding Shay's bag and sneakers on his other hand… and at one point, Keegan had Shay playfully piggyback on him…The two looked like a real happy couple…

For Ash… it felt like... _Shay walked over her heart with her 5-inch heels… again._

* * *

><p><strong>PS: Hmm why does Keegan have a spare key of Shay's apmt? Hint: Prologue : P <strong>

**Btw, Shay did say in one of her interviews that she likes to climb ropes. Do check my tumblr [homepage] if you have time... I uploaded Shay's picture holding on to a rope... tagged it "Pictures of you" and "Chapter 4".**

**I'm also so sorry this chapter had more KeeShay moments. Shay's tweetvid got me inspired to write this... I honestly think this is also vital to the story... especially to Ash' and Shay's feelings towards each other. I promise I'll write more ShayLey moments next chapter... I might even write a flashback of a drunk Shay... Who knows! :p**

**Don't forget to hit the review button! Thank youuu!**


	6. Chapter 5

**I don't think I'll ever get tired from thanking you guys for taking time to read my fic. From the bottom of my heart, thank you... Thank you for lending your time! : )**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Shay sat on her couch, took off her sneakers and rested her back while she closed her eyes… She found herself smiling and feeling grateful for her day out with Keegan… It was exactly what she needed after feeling exhausted the past week—from work, from her 'Ash' situation… Had it not been for Keegan who's always been sensitive to her feelings, she probably would've just spent her days off sulking in books or watching movies on Netflix…

Her iPhone rang… Lucy on the other line…

"Did you see her?"

"See who?"

"Ash, who else? She followed you after she saw your tweetvid with Keegan," Lucy said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"She did what? Oh gosh! Luce, I gotta go. Talk to you later."

"Shay? Still there?" But the other line already went dead.

For some reasons, Shay felt a sudden rush of panic, feeling the need to explain herself to Ash… She didn't know exactly how much Ash saw what she was doing with Keegan… What she was sure of… Is that she needs to see Ash. Soon, real soon…

Shay grabbed her car keys and immediately drove to Ash' apartment… She didn't expect Mrs. Benson to open the door for her.

"Good evening, Mrs. Benson… Is Ash there?" Shay said, trying to catch her breath…

* * *

><p>"<em>What's this?" Ash frowned and looked at the red cup that the unfamiliar guy gave to him. She slightly raised her voice, making sure that the guy heard her when she can barely hear herself because of the loud music playing on the background.<em>

"_A drink, of course. There's no party if there are no drinks, silly. C'mon, drink it up! Drink, drink, drink!" _

_And then everybody started to chant "drink, drink, drink"… _

"_Okay! Okay! I'll drink it. Just shut up already," Ash complained, pressuring her to drink on the cup…_

_She cringed at the taste of her drink and couldn't help but wonder if it was a mix of Vodka, Gin and Rhum... Ash wondered how long she's been drinking… But judging from the headache and the 'warmer-than-usual' feeling that she's experiencing now, she assumed she's had too much to drink already. _

_Ash tried her best to remember how she got to this house, how long has she been there… But it only gave her more headaches than she signed up for. She checked her surroundings… She tried to look for familiar faces like Shay's but to no avail. "Where the hell am I? Whose party is this?" Ash then touched her forehead, feeling its warmth, asking herself questions she wasn't sure anyone would be sober enough to answer. "Who the hell are these people" Ash wondered to herself. _

_She tried to stand up, tried to maintain her balance by trying to get some support by leaning on the wall… She forced herself to walk straight, trying to find her way outside the house... And then she heard a familiar laugh… She tried to find out where that laugh was coming from… She was quite sure whose it was; but she had to see for herself. _

_It took Ash a few minutes before she finally found the 'laugh' that she was looking for… "Shay?" Ash asked in disbelief, unconsciously rubbing her eyes off, as if trying to convince herself she's not just seeing things. "Shay" looked at her direction as if she heard Ash call for "her" name and the "she" let out a smile… Ash waved her hand in return but "Shay's" attention was already on a bunch of guys surrounding her, all eagerly listening to her, not trying to hide the fact that they're just flirting with "her", all trying to win "her" attention…_

_Ash tried to compose herself, forcing herself to walk to "Shay's"... She's been meaning to talk to "her" for a while already… She figured this might be her only chance to tell her how she feels. She wanted to confront Shay about her moving in with Alex, why she's been hanging out with Keegan more often these days… She wanted to tell her… That she missed her… So much… _

"_How am I ever gonna go past these guys?" Ash asked to herself-referring to roughly four or five guys surrounding Shay... "Maybe the 'talk' can wait. I might say things I'd regret later. Gawd, this headache is seriously killing me," Ash thought to herself. She then turned her back and checked her pockets for her car keys. She was relieved to find out that she still has car keys and promised to herself she'd drive carefully so as to avoid any car accident..._

_Yet… The fifteen feet distance between her and the exit door seemed like a kilometer away while Ash tried to find her way out, trying not to lose balance by all the bumping that she's getting from other people who all seem drunk like her… She reasoned to herself that it may be better to lie around for a while, or maybe try to sleep off the drunkenness that she's feeling right now… An available couch caught her attention… and she found herself walking to that direction instead…_

_Ash laid her back on the couch and was grateful there weren't a lot of people drinking on that area… She closed her eyes; still feeling woozy from god knows how many drinks she's had… _

_She opened her eyes when she felt someone touched her face… Her sight still blurry from all the drinks that she's had… She tried to make up a face for this person who woke her from her almost-sleep…_

"_Shay? Is that you?" Ash couldn't tell exactly if it was "Shay" looking at her—who's just a few inches away from her face… "It's gotta be "Shay"," Ash secretly thought to herself, half-wishing she's right…_

_She cursed the drinks that she's had for paralyzing her to think and see clearly… Ash was quite sure it was Shay… Ash repeated, "Is that you? Answer me?" she asked pleadingly. "Shay" didn't answer though… Instead Ash felt the warmth of "Shay's" hands caressing her face, brushing her hands on her hair, tracing her eyes as if memorizing her face… "Shay's" deep breathing didn't escape Ash' rather scarce breathing now… She tried moving but all the drinks that she's had has taken its toll on her… She felt heavy… She can barely lift any part of her body. _

_Ash lifted her left hand, attempting to cup "Shay's" face, wanting to make sure she's not seeing things… but "Shay" caught her hand and instead placed a light kiss on her palm… _

"_Ashley, I love you…" "Shay" whispered to her ears… _

"_Shay" said those words with a firm tone, more like longing for Ash yet assuring her that she loves her than just saying it as a spur of the moment thing… Ash' heart skipped a beat when she heard those words… What she's feeling right now were rather unexplainable… She was lost for words… Whatever surprise she felt when she heard those words from "Shay" failed in comparison after what "Shay" did next… _

_The kiss started off gently… Unexpected even… With "Shay" brushing her soft, full lips against Ash'… Ash could feel its warmth sending shivers all over her body… There weren't hesitations on "Shay's" kiss… It was rather inviting, asking Ash to answer her kiss back… Ash froze at what's happening before her… "Shay", as if sensing her hesitation, pulled in closer, hands busy brushing against her hair and caressing her face, this time a little more aggressive, prying Ash lips to give more room for her… _

Ash felt warm drops of water on her neck… "Huh? Tears?" Ash touched her neck and was surprised to find it wet-leaning more on the theory that it could be tears… "But whose tears?" Ash wondered.

She still feels a little hazy over what just happened… She thought she heard someone say "Ash… Wake up, please…. Wake up…." But she wasn't entirely sure herself. She tried to get up but she found herself wrapped in an embrace by someone else…

She looked at her side, surprised at the sight before her… Shay locked on an embrace with her, looking sound asleep, but her eyes seemed wet from crying… "Was she crying? What's Shay doing here? Was I not in a house party? Were those… her tears?" Ash asked herself with hesitation, looking at the same hand she used wiping off the tears off of her neck…

Ash looked at her surroundings in confusion… She wondered how she got back to her room again. She wasn't entirely sure what happened after…

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt Shay move. Shay must've also woken up when she got up… Shay looked at Ash with her big, beautiful brown eyes… Ash couldn't tell exactly if she saw worry or disbelief in Shay's eyes… But she was sure herself it didn't escape Shay the surprise plastered all over her face when she saw her on her bed.

"Oh, Ash!" Shay exclaimed, throwing her arms around Ash, hugging her tight…

"Shay? What are you doing here?"

"Your mom let me in. You were asleep when I got here… I thought of waking you up…" And then Shay went on telling her that she heard her mumbling "Shay… don't leave… Please… Shay…."

"I kept thinking you might be having a nightmare. I tried waking you up…. But you won't… You just won't…" Shay's eyes are starting to well with tears again... "I shouldn't have fallen asleep. I should've stayed up… I should've… I'm so sorry… I'm so worried… I just… Ash…." Shay said frantically…

Ash on the other hand couldn't get off the mental image of "Shay" kissing her. "It felt so… real," Ash thought to herself while she touched her lips. She swore she could still feel the warmth of Shay's lips against hers…

"Ash… say something please… Are you okay now? Are you listening? I'm not leaving you…" Shay's last statement almost inaudible to Ash' ears…

"Shannon!" Ash exclaimed, as if she just snapped back from reality…

Ash told Shay, "Oh my gawd, Shannon, stop crying. I'm ok. I promise… I was just… Well it wasn't a bad dream. I'm ok," while she gently rubbed Shay's back while they were wrapped in an embrace… Ash let go of Shay and met Shay's sad eyes…

"I'm fine, Shannon. I really am," Ash then placed a short kiss on Shay's forehead…

"But your mom said you went home so upset. I don't know… Was it because of me?"

Shay feeling exhausted… laid her back on the bed… prompting Ash to do the same… Shay continued, "Lucy said you followed me at Sta Monica beach today. How come you never told me? I was just with Keegan the whole day. I could've gone out with you instead…"

For a moment, Ash thought of the words to say to her…. But whatever she tries to come up with seemed "not enough" or "just not right"… Ash heaved a deep breath and turned her face to Shay's… She noticed how Shay's mood easily shifted from being so worried to relatively calm, eyes set on the ceiling…

"I wasn't mad at you… I was more upset… with myself." Ash replied, finally able to muster the courage to talk…

"Why? I don't…" Shay hesitated on continuing her statement but she did anyway… "I don't understand, Ash. You've been acting strange lately… It… hurts me that you've been giving me this cold treatment… It feels like… You don't wanna be… with me anymore."

Ash felt guilty when she heard Shay say those words… She could sense the sincerity and the genuine hurt behind it…

"I just needed some time off… I had to deal with a lot of things," Ash responded, still unable to tell Shay what she feels…

"What kind of things?"

" 'You.' No, I mean I had to do it alone… Um, well… I mean I had to do some thinking... without you."

"So you don't want me around anymore? Is that it? If that's what you needed, you could've just told me at the very least… If you wanted some space, I could've given you that… I would've respected that," Shay replied, not trying to hide the hurt that she's feeling right now…

"No, it's not that. You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't," Shay responded, cutting her off… "I thought you might have been upset because I'm moving in with Alex… Shay sighed, "But why do I feel like there's something more to it?"

_Flashback…._

"_Hey Ash, let's go grab some coffee," Lucy said. She grabbed her bag and didn't wait for Ash to respond. Instead she held Ash' arm and dragged her to the nearest coffee shop on set…_

"_What's up with you and Shay?" Lucy asked casually while looking at the menu. _

"_Nothing," Ash said flatly. _

"_Nothing usually means something. We both know that," Lucy said intuitively. "Ah yeah, two regular iced coffee please and one slice of blueberry cheesecake," Lucy said to the barista, cutting off whatever Ash was supposed to say…_

_The two found a vacant table outside the coffee shop, both girls with a cup of iced coffee on their hands… Ash sat and stared blankly on the road…_

"_So, are you ever gonna tell me why you two have been acting strange lately, especially you, Ash… I know you," Lucy said after she sipped on her coffee. _

"_Like I said, nothing." _

"_Who are you convincing, Ash? Me or you? Because judging from the sound of it, it seemed you're convincing yourself more."_

_Ash heaved a deep breath, "Do you really wanna know why?" _

"_Do look I look like I don't want to?"_

"_Um, hello? Am I really speaking to Lucy? Or are you Troian hiding inside a 5'2" Lucy? Because I wanna say 'No need to be sarcastic', you know."_

"_Aww, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to channel my inner Troian. But seriously, why?"_

_Ash took a deep breath and said… "Honestly? I've been meaning to ask her to move in with me… And this was like what… a couple of months ago… But after what I saw…"_

"_You mean outside Shay's apartment back in February? Her and Keegan?" Lucy asked, cutting off Ash… _

"_Yeah. After that… I was suddenly… for the lack of a better term, unsure… doubtful… Of Shay… Of what I feel… I'm sure I wanna be with her always… I just… I don't know, Luce. I'm confused. I'm scared…"_

"_Hmm… I understand… I mean, it would be kind of scary not to doubt yourself. But Ash, doubting yourself too much can also become like a sickness… And I'd hate myself if I'd let you drown from it…"_

"_I just… I'm scared, Luce… Like what if… What if we move in together? That's gonna mean we'll be under one roof… I'd get to see her everyday… Be with her every single day… And I know I should be grateful if ever… I know it's supposed to be a good thing… But I can't help but feel scared… It scares me to be vulnerable around her… It's already bad enough that I can't put a label… Rather 'I don't' know how to label whatever it is that I feel for her… She's my best friend, Luce… I feel guilty for feeling this way when she might not even care about this feelings… whatever 'this' is."_

"_Being scared is good… at some point… it makes you realize you're scared of losing something… someone… But Ash…."_

"_I'm scared to be vulnerable around her. If that ever makes sense…"_

"_It honestly doesn't…"_

"_Ouch!"_

"_Kidding! Too soon eh? Let's just enjoy our coffee, shall we?" And then both girls shared a hearty laugh… With Ash trying to hide her confused feelings behind her laugh…_

"Ash? Are you listening?" Shay nudged her side, trying to get her attention…

"Yes, I am babe. I… Just… I… I… don't know how to explain myself…"

* * *

><p><strong>PS: *docks from flying objects* Yay! I'm so sorry! I'm not very good with 'sexy scenes'. But I honestly hope you guys felt the sincerity behind the ShayLey kiss even it if it was just shared in a dream...<strong>

**And... It'll take a while before I get to reveal what really happened back in February at Shay's apmt. I just feel like it's not yet the 'right' time for it although I honestly think it's important for the growth of the characters. To be honest, the back story behind the prologue is rather simple... really... just more like a turning point for Shay, Ash and Keegan. : ) **


	7. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry it took a while for me to update. Work's been keeping me busy… I'm also trying to keep up with Shay's, Ash', Keegan's, Mrs. Benson's and other PLL casts' tweets and Ustreams in real life for this fic... Whew! And yeps, we'll have Ian on the next chapters. Big thanks to Shayleychillin / ShayMitchUnite for pointing that out... Will try my best! **

**I know most of you guys are in school… And not a lot of people actually ship my Shayley and Keeshay… But still, thank you for taking time to read my fic. You guys are beyond awesome!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Shay and Ash are both lying on Ash' bed... Shay's eyes still set on the ceiling. She's been unconsciously fiddling with her hands, as if trying to channel the unexplainable tension that she's feeling at the moment… She bit her lower lip, hoping 'whatever' unresolved issues that she and Ash had the past week will be resolved this time… Secretly hoping she'd get Ash to talk. "Good luck on that," Shay said to herself in exasperation.

Meanwhile Ash was also feeling a little bit antsy lying next to Shay. She wasn't sure if it was because she's lying way too close to Shay—feeling Shay's warmth burning through her skin… Or how she felt weak, drowning from Shay's faint perfume… Or if it were because she's afraid as to where Shay's questions would lead….

Earlier on Shay already went on pouncing her with questions she wasn't entirely sure how she'd answer. Heck, she wasn't even sure of the _answers_ herself. Ash kept on looking at Shay momentarily, grateful she hasn't caught her stealing glances on her since…

"So, are you ever gonna tell me?" Shay asked.

"You're not gonna let this go, are you? I already told you. I was just…. Well, I was just disappointed that you're moving in with Alex instead of with me."

_** Flashback_

"_Here you go girls," Norman said, pleased and excited for the scenes that they'll be shooting for Season 2 today. He handed the script one by one to each 'liar'. "We'll be up for a table read in a few… I'll just look for Marlene while you girls check on your scripts." All four 'liars' held on to their respective scripts and smiled thankfully at Norman whose back was already turned on them—walking, looking for Marlene. _

_The 'liars' sat on their usual seats… Shay beside Ash', Troian beside Lucy's… Shay and Troian opened theirs and read the content intently, Lucy flipped through the pages while holding a cup of ice coffee on her left hand, and meanwhile Ash skimmed absentmindedly through the pages… until two of Shay's scenes caught her attention…_

_Ash frowned while reading on the two scenes… One, where Shay and Keegan will be talking inside Emily's room and then Shay will place a kiss on Keegan's cheek. Ash knows it's just a 'professional kiss', mainly for work… But she felt a pang of jealousy just by reading it… She felt possessive of Shay, not wanting her to share a kiss especially with Keegan… _

_She secretly complained it's already bad enough she has to deal with the fact that Shay has to kiss a couple more hot girls for the show as Emily… Ash felt silly for feeling jealous over her co-actors who gets to kiss Shay when she herself can't even make the first move… "What the hell am I thinking? Me kissing Shay? Dammit! Erase! Erase those thoughts!" Ash thought to herself while her head moved in disapproval… The other liars' just shot Ash a puzzled look. Shay on the other hand felt like she has an idea on what may be going on in Ash' mind but she parked that thought for the meantime and focused on her script instead…_

_Secondly, Ash smiled when she read that Shay's character, Emily, will be moving in with her character, Hanna…_

_Later that day… _

_Ash waited for Shay to finish her scenes…. She told Shay she could just find her in her usual 'spot'. It didn't take long for Shay to join Ash on her 'spot'… Shay greeted her with a kiss on her left cheek leaving Ash wishing Shay's lips didn't part with her cheek… Ash returned the favor by briefly hugging her… Shay was also welcomed by Ash' familiar smell-it was the kind of smell that will make you think of summer and anything sunshine-ish… A little unusual for Ash but Shay picked it for her… Ash hasn't changed her perfume since… Both girls went on telling each other how it went with their scenes 'til… _

"_Shannon, you should move in with me."_

"_Ash, I already am, remember? I mean 'Emily' will be moving in with 'Hanna'. I think Mommy Mar will have us under one roof throughout Season 2. I'm not so sure."_

"_No, I mean move in with me, like for real," Ash said in a matter-of-fact-tone, her big blue eyes meeting Shay's beautiful brown eyes… _

_Shay furrowed her eyebrows as if trying to digest what Ash just asked her… _

"_Are you sure? Aren't you just saying that because of what we just shot today?" Shay said finally._

"_No honey. I mean look we can work it out. I'll work it out... You'll do the cooking; I'll do the dishes. You'll do the... Well I'll do the cleaning. I'll do everything but cooking. We can order in pizza every single day. I'll stuff our fridge with chocolates, cupcakes and all of your favorite foods. See? Sooo easy! We can annoy each other everyday and I won't have to pick you up in the morning to drive you to the lot."_

"_Ash… I… I mean, are you like sure-sure?"_

"_Never been more sure! Just promise me you'd give it some thoughts, okay?"_

"_Okay, babe," Shay answered with a smile… _

"Is that all? Ash, you know what I mean…" Shay pleaded, interrupting Ash' reminiscent thoughts.

"No. I don't. Just let it go already, okay?" Ash replied in a slightly raised voice.

Shay was slightly taken aback by Ash' tone but she wanted to push her luck, trying to find out more 'answers' from Ash…

"It's just Alex that I'm gonna be sharing the house with… Not some stranger. You know her... I've known her for a long time. And you know we go way back. And besides… I thought you two have warmed up to each other already… I mean we used to go out for shopping and dine outs…"

Ash cut her short and went on saying, "cam whoring, shopping and dining out with her don't always translate to being actual 'friends' with her… even on twitter." Ash said firmly. _Did she really have to stress that they go 'way back'? Geez._

"Oh…" Shay debated with herself if she'd ask further… She went on anyway…

"But how come? I mean you used to follow her on twitter, right? And then you unfollowed her… I… Well… Some are still asking… Our fans are curious… _I'm curious,_" Shay said, regretting the last statement that she said because she could sense Ash' mood instantly changed—almost from 'being okay' to 'feeling irate'…

For a moment Ash tried to compose her thoughts… Careful not to hurt Shay with her sarcasm and stubbornness, again…

_Ash could hear her mom's words echo in her head… "Ash, sweetie, it's better to lose your pride with someone you love… Rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride… I know you, Ash. You and your pride were born like twins since day one." She tried dismissing her mom's words but she knew from the bottom of her heart that her mom is right… And Shay's not worth losing over her silly pride…_

"I know you two are the best of friends… I can be civil with her. I always have anyway," Ash was surprised with her sudden change of mood, sensing Shay's frustration on their talk… Her mood suddenly changed from irritable to pleading Shay not to get upset… She realized only Shay can _do_ that to her… Like challenge her to be the best version of her self… Always.

Ash continued, "I'll behave whenever she's around, I promise… For you, honey." Ash said meaningfully, looking at Shay's direction, hoping Shay would see and feel the sincerity with what she just said.

"I mean, look, hon, nothing's much changed with your moving in with Alex. You can just go to my apartment anytime like you always do. The only difference is I'd worry less about your crazy driving because you're gonna live closer to me now."

"What's wrong with my driving?" Shay asked, puzzled at Ash' remark, oblivious to the fact that her driving has a 'reputation' on her co-stars and crew…

How many times had Ash and her co-stars especially Ian remarked how much of a daredevil she is when it comes to driving… Like recently she and Ash went for a drive to the city and then Shay tried to do all these things at the same time—driving, recording a tweetvid, holding and licking her lollie, dancing to Mr. Saxobeat while telling her fans about hers and Ash' day…

A smile curved on Ash' face, finding it adorable that Shay seems to be oblivious of her 'reputable driving'… "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. You're perfect, honey," Ash replied.

"Oh, alright then," Shay said half-convinced… But a sweet smile escaped from her hearing Ash compliment her that she's plain 'perfect.'

Shay continued, "But Ryan's gonna be there…" Shay felt a tinge of unexplainable displeasure on the mere mention of Ryan's name… Truth be told, she likes 'this' more… spending alone time with Ash whenever, wherever… But lately…

"Alex will be on yours cus she's your housemate now. So all is just fair," Ash shot back, interrupting Shay's thoughts.

"I guess… It's just that. I mean she's one of my best friends… That's different. I don't know… You mentioned before Ryan's already planning of leaving Justin's team. I figured you guys would be spending more time now since he'll have extra time on his hands… That's gonna mean you'd spend less time with me… And…"

"Did I hear it right? Shannon Ashley Mitchell, are you jealous of Ryan Good?" Ash beamed at the thought of Shay getting jealous over Ry. Shay wasn't really the jealous type unlike her… Now she couldn't help but tease Shay nonstop about it.

"Heyyy! I'm so not! I'm just saying my _'Ashley time'_ might get cut off… I just… Well, you're already spending an awful lot of time with him lately…" Shay said while she did a fake pout, she then crossed her arms, acting defensively, trying to avoid Ash' eyes otherwise hers would be too much of a giveaway to how she really feels towards Ash and her budding relationship with Ryan…

Ash changed her position from lying at her back… this time she's laying on her stomach, her face just a few inches away from Shay's. Shay met her gaze and for a moment they were lost in each other's eyes… And as cheesy as it sounds, Ash felt like the time froze… Letting her and Shay enjoy each other's stares…

Ash couldn't help but adore Shay's big, hazel-brown eyes. Her eyes shifted to her beautiful, pink lips, aroused by the scent of Shay's lip gloss… Then her eyes went back to meeting Shay's gaze…

Shay felt a churn on her stomach… Feeling a little uneasy of her current position with Ash. It was a great-uneasy feeling-whatever you may call it…and she admits to liking it… Liking _this_… Laying close to Ash…She tried to move to ease up some tension between her and Ash but Ash's right arm is hovered on her waist stopping her from making any movement… She wondered, "had her arms been around me all along?"

"_Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away  
>Beating like a drum and it's coming your way<br>Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom  
>Boom, badoom, boom bass"<em>

_** Super Bass by Nicki Minaj  
><em>

Shay's ring tone surprised them both, as if snapping them back to reality. Ash' upper half body is pressed against Shay's while she tried to reach out to her side table, trying to grab her iPhone…For a moment, Shay felt a little weak, a little shaken from the tension that they both shared. She was just glad someone called her… "Here," Ash pressed the 'answer' button on Shay's iPhone and then held it to Shay's right ear.

Shay mouthed the words, "Who's this?"

Ash answered, "I don't know. I didn't get to see it. I think it's…"

"Hey, Shay. You up for coffee later?"

Shay was welcomed by the familiar husky voice on the other line…

"Troian! Hey there! I missed you! Um, later? I…" Shay responded while Ash is waiting for her answers, wondering what the two must been talking about over the phone…

"I missed you too! Sorry, mia much. Girl friend duties, as usual," Troian said with a faint laugh.

"I'm sorry… I'm with Ash right now. Some other time?"

"Hmmm, Ash' apmt eh? So you two are okay now?" Troian couldn't help but grin at Shay's reply…

"Yeah," Shay said while she met Ash puzzled eyes, as if trying to decipher what she and Troian are talking about. Shay could tell Troian is smirking on the other line, she added "You know what I mean."

"Well, I won't take any much of your time from your girl. Laters, Shay!" Troian said with a smile. And then the line went dead.

"And? That was Troian? What'd she say?"

"She just asked me how I've been. No biggie."

Ash nodded, a little convinced from what Shay said but she just ignored it. She figured it was just Troian and they usually hang out whenever Troian can.

Ash then changed her position and went back to lying at her back. This time Shay changed her position, went to her side, wrapped her left arm on Ash waist and buried her face on Ash' neck…

"Let's sleep," Ash said out of the blue…

"Huh? Oh... okay...?" Shay said with her eyes already closed, and dutifully followed Ash' request…

Ash glanced at Shay for the last time and kissed her on the forehead... A smile curved on Shay's lips when she felt Ash' kiss on her... Ash then closed her eyes, trying to get some sleep as well… Thankful that everything seems to be okay with them now… "Long day..." Ash thought.

A few hours later…

Mrs. Benson wondered if Shay and Ash are trying to patch things up already… She thought of going to Ash' room earlier to check on the girls but she resorted to baking chocolate cookies instead to while away her time. "They're grown ups. They'll figure it out," she thought to herself.

She removed a pan of cookies off of her oven and enjoyed the freshly baked smell that it offered. She prepared a few for Shay and Ashley… She then went to Ash' room, knocked at her door while holding a tray of cookies and two glasses of juice… When she didn't get an answer, she opened the door and was happy to see that Shay and Ash seem to be _okay_ now…

Shay's left arm was wrapped on Ash' waist… Almost in a spoon position… Both looked sound asleep. Mrs. Benson put down her tray on Ash' side table, tucked in both girls with Ash' blanket and left the room with a happy heart.

* * *

><p>At the lot filming for Pretty Little Liars' scenes…<p>

"Shay! Keegan was looking for you. Have you seen him already?" Marlene told Shay, more like informing her more than asking her.

"He was? Oh, okay. I'll just text him." Shay grabbed her iPhone and composed a quick text for Keegan…

Keegan was shooting his scene when he felt his phone vibrated from his pocket. He thought of checking it later but he reasoned out that it could be from someone important. Keegan's face immediately lit up when he saw Shay's name popped up on his phone's screen… His smile went from ear-to-ear when he read Shay's text message…

"_Good morning, Sir Keegan. Looking for your princess?"_

His eyes looked for Shay but she was nowhere to be found…

"Keegan, stop smiling! You're gonna be doing a drama scene with Troian in a bit," Marlene pointed out to Keegan, trying to get his attention…

"Huh? Oh! I'm so sorry. Hang on," Keegan replied, trying to twitch his face, clenching his jaw, trying to put up a sad face for his next scene… but he just can't. That text from Shay made him lose whatever concentration he mustered for his next scene.

Once done with his shoot, Keegan grabbed a paper bag and looked for Shay…

"Hey there, princess," Keegan whispered to Shay's left ear from her behind…

Shay's eyes widened when she heard Keegan, and then she immediately turned her back and gave him a quick hug….

"I got you something…" Keegan happily handed the paper bag to Shay.

Shay put out her sweetest smile for Keegan and thanked him by planting a swift kiss on his right cheek…

All these exchanges between Shay and Keegan didn't escape Ash' watchful eyes…

"Dammit!" Ash cursed under her breath.

* * *

><p><strong>PS: <strong>

Ian did tweet before about Shay's driving…

_ianmharding:__ great seeing you barreling down cahuenga last night. I've seen you behind the wheel a lot lately. TERRIFYING._

_12 Jun__Favorite Retweet Reply_

A couple of days ago, Ryan trended on Twitter worldwide because apparently he's leaving Justin Bieber's team. I honestly don't want him to leave Justin's. I want him to be with Justin for his world tour. And what does that mean? Less time with Ash. * meanie *

I think Shay and Alex haven't moved in to their new apartment, have they? By the way, I'm not so sure if Ash did unfollow DJ Alex. But rumors had it that Ash used to follow DJ Alex and then for some reasons Ash un-followed her… DJ is still following Ash, at least last time I checked.

Also, if you guys have the link for Brant's (Noel on PLL) latest Ustream, could u please send me the link? He said a couple of stuff about Shayley and Ian. I'll be using it as a reference for this fic. Hehe.

Ooh, have you guys seen Shay's latest Ustream? Isn't it cute that 'honey' is Ash' term of endearment for her? They're so adorbs! That Ustream made my Shayley shipper's heart go boom, boom pow : D

**Mmmkay, soooo, what did you guys think of this chapter? **

**Feedbacks means more chapters! : )  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 7

**I'm writing this fic.. But even I am frustrated with Shayley. Gawd, they have too much tension in real life. So here you go kids, enjoy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

"What's this?" Shay asked Keegan with excitement.

"You guess," Keegan sheepishly replied.

"You know, I don't like…" Shay said while she was grabbing the slightly heavy item inside the paper bag. "…supri—oh my god! Keegan, where did you find this? I've been looking for this for a long time!" Shay's face beamed with happiness looking at Keegan's gift.

Inside the paper bag was a vintage music box… On top of it were intricate carvings of flowers and a phoenix in the middle of it-as if it's spreading its wings; on the sides are maze-like carvings—perfectly matching the varnished brown paint on the music box… Giving it a vintage and timeless feel to it. Shay opened the music box, eyes glowing with happiness, turned the knob for the butterfly figure and was even more delighted to hear one of her favorite classic Frederyk Chopin piece 'Nocturne No. 2' being played by her music box.

"How did? I can't even… How did you?" Shay mumbled out of excitement.

Shay only told him once that she had a music box before unfortunately she lost it at the airport. She was only able to give a rough description of the music box, but then Keegan promised to himself he'd find the same music box that she lost. If not, at least something close to it…

Keegan was just happy when he learned that one of his friends collects music boxes. His friend was hesitant at first to give the music box to him but when he said that he's getting it for someone important to him, someone special… His friend finally gave in and just asked him to take care of it… of _her_… '_Because it's rare to find music boxes like this,_' Keegan recalled as if he could hear his friend's voice in his head...

"Well, you can thank me first, princess," Keegan said after he let out a laugh of contentment seeing that Shay liked his gift.

"Yes! Yes! Of course, thank you! Thank you! Thank yoouu!" Shay gladly replied to Keegan, hugging him tight—almost too tight that Keegan wished Shay would never let go of him, wishing he could freeze this very moment… Keegan placed his hand on Shay's back and hugged her back… His hands brushed on Shay's long, soft hair—sending shivers on both Shay and Keegan… He then planted a kiss on her head and relished the rosy scent of her hair… And though hesitant to let go, he removed his hand from Shay's back and stepped back a little giving them both enough distance from each other…

Shay broke their silence, "I can't believe you still remember me mentioning this to you." She looked down again at her hands holding the music box and couldn't stop herself form grinning—looking like a kid who just got the toy that she wished for Christmas. "I mean, I dunno… I only told you about this music box when you…"

"Spent the night at your apartment?" Keegan smiled as he finished her sentence.

"Yes, that," Shay replied shyly.

"I remember everything," Keegan said meaningfully.

* * *

><p>At the lot filming for Pretty Little Liars…<p>

Ian was thankful he finished shooting his scenes early. He looked for Keegan, wondering where he might have gone. Earlier on Keegan left immediately after he checked his phone probably for a text message without telling where he's going… Keegan just grabbed a paper bag and walked briskly away from their set….

...

Keegan walked back to their set with a happy heart… He knew he'd get into trouble for stepping out abruptly without telling anyone but after receiving Shay's text message '_Good morning, Sir Keegan. Looking for your princess?_' He just had to go to Shay right there and then…

He walked towards Ian's direction and was welcomed by Ian's question, "Where'd you go, bro?"

"I, uh, I just went to Shay. I just had to give her something."

"What's that something?" Ian asked curiously.

"Nothing, Ian…"

"If it's nothing, then why aren't you telling me?" Ian pushed…

Keegan let out a laugh and said, "seriously. It's nothing. It's just a gift for Shay. By the way, did Marlene notice that I left?"

"Well, she di-"

"Hold that thought… Someone's calling. I'm sorry," Keegan said. He walked a few steps away from Ian and spent a good 7 minutes on the phone.

"Who was that?"

"Are you caffeine-high again, Ian? You're asking too many questions,"

Ian cut him of and replied "and you're not answering any of them" with a shrug while he raised both of his arms as if acting out a 'defeat'.

Keegan let out a nervous laugh, "It was Shay. She was just thanking me for the gift."

"Hmm, really eh? What was your gift? " Ian replied, half convinced at what Keegan said… "Oh! Heyy! I'm not caffeine-high… _yet._ I haven't had coffee for the day. I'm seriously itching to get one," then Ian playfully bowed his head, heaved a sigh and laced both of his hands behind his nape… "By the way, what's up with you two?" Ian shot back at Keegan, changing the topic…

"Who?" Keegan asked.

"You know who…. Shay," Ian said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Nothing, really. We're just friends."

"Really? Doesn't seem like it. What's up with the gift-giving, tweetvids, day outs. C'mon, just spill it, Keegs."

"Hey, I give you gifts too. I give everybody gifts… Nothing to-"

"What the?" Ian cut him off and continued, "last time you brought me your leftover steak from your lunch wrapped in a fancy restaurant's paper bag, and you call that 'you-giving-a-gift-to-Ian? Try harder, bro. I'm a little hard to please," Ian joked. "And besides, I can see you two frienting… You and Shay."

"Frienting what?" Keegan asked in absolute confusion.

"You know, friendly-flirting—uhh, _frienting_. You guys are all over the place... I'm honestly surprised Ashley hasn't pounced on you yet. You know how possessive she can get with Shay. Ugh! You know what I mean," Ian playfully complained while he scratched his head, flashing Keegs his usual charming smile.

Keegan then answered Ian's jest with a few pats on Ian's back. Ian straightened himself out and faced Keegan… "Keegs, seriously… I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. You can get hurt, you know."

Keegan took a deep breath and said, "I do… It's _Shay_… I mean, if I get hurt… If ever, I'm hurt… It's a _good_ hurt. This is Shay that we're talking about, not just some girl… I can… handle it." Yet truth be told, Keegan knew at the back of his mind, he himself is not sure if he can _still_ handle the truth… He wasn't sure either whom he was convincing when he said that he could handle his situation with Shay—if it was Ian or himself. And at some point, he wished he didn't know _things…_

"My point, bro. I just feel like you guys have this thing. This… I don't know how to put it or how to label it, like only the two of you understands or share something with each other. Dammit bro, Ellen Degeneres would've said my sentiments better, anyway, what I'm saying is someone's bound to get hurt one way or another."

"_Maybe someone already did,"_ Keegan thought to himself.

Ian muttered in a low voice, "it's okay, Keegs. I know you're _situation _with Shay. I don't fully understand it, but it's fine. I mean I'm okay with her."

Ian's eyes shifted from Keegan's and looked for Lucy instead so they can grab their coffee like they usually do but he noticed that she's talking to Shay. He figured his coffee cravings can probably wait…

And then Ian continued, almost inaudibly, "maybe because… sometimes… we're drawn to the people that we can never have" while looking at Shay and Lucy's direction.

* * *

><p>Ashley was on a break from filming her scenes. She contented herself sitting on the couch while waiting for Shay to join her…<p>

Shay walked towards Ashley's direction with a huge smile plastered on her face…

"What's that?" Ashley asked Shay, while looking at the paper bag that she's holding.

"What's what?" Shay responded while she brushed her hair with her hands, putting them on the side...

"_That_," Ash said firmly.

"Oh, this?" Shay lifted her right arm holding the paper bag, giving Ash a better view of what she's holding… Shay flashed a wide smile at Ash and told her, "Keegan got me a music box! See?" Shay then took out the music box from the paper bag, opened it and asked Ash to lean closer to the music box so she could her the music. Ash didn't bother to make the slightest move from where she's sitting though.

"What's that?"

"I already told you, it's a music box," Shay couldn't help but smile whenever she says Keegan brought him a music box.

"No, I mean that…" Ash said, referring to the piece of paper that Shay's holding on her right hand.

"Oh! I'm sorry! This-" Shay opened the piece of paper showing… "Ustream with me? –Sir Keegan".

…_._

_** Author's note: __Assuming Shay would be the surprise on Keegan's real life tweet… _

KeeganAllen: Wow. 200K following- Thank you :) Ustream Later today? maybe a surprise?

28 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply

….

"Ah, okay. What did you tell him," Ash said with a frown, trying to hide the jealousy that she's feeling right now… She meant to give Shay a music box too but she figured she'd just give it to her once she meets her charity goal as her reward to her. She cringed at the idea of her music box sitting next to Keegan's music box…. Now she can't decide whether she'd still give her the music box that she bought for her… Or might as well just keep it.

"What did you tell him?"

"I said 'thank you', of course," Shay replied with a smile.

"No. I mean, did you agree to doing a Ustream with him?"

"Um, no babe… Cus remember, I'll be having a night out with Alex and the rest of the girls?"

"Oh, okay," Ash replied with a tone of indifference-while she plugged in her headsets to her ears…

Shay sat on the floor, crossed her legs, placed her right arm on Ash' lap and leaned her head on it, while her left arm reached out to one of Ash' headset piece and gently removed it from her ear… She looked up at Ash' beautiful face… "Babe, are you mad at me? Please don't be?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know… You've been awfully quiet for a while already. And if my instincts are right, I think you're just jealous of Keegan…"

"Why would I be? It's just Keegan. So go tell your instincts to pack their stuff and fly back to Canada because they're wrong. And besides, like you said, you two are just _friends._"_ Dammit. _

"Yep! I promise… friends… Just like you and Ryan."

"Hang on, that's different. What does Ryan have to do with this?" Ash asked, surprised how Shay effortlessly turned the table on her…

Shay reached out for Ash' right hand and interlocked it with hers… As if trying to muster some courage, as if seeking some strength from Ash… A smile curved on her lips when she looked at her hand and Ash' hand intertwined with each other… Ash dutifully held back her hand, wondering what's going on with Shay's mind and why she suddenly brought up Ryan…

"Nothing, I guess. Like you said… You guys are just friends. Like me and Keegan, right?"

"Right," Ash said flatly. "How's the charity going?" Ash replied, trying to change the topic…

"Buddy, if you and Ryan are like… um, dating-dating, I think you owe it to yourself to be honest… With other people… _With me…_ " Shay replied, ignoring Ash' question about the charity. Ash half-smiled when she heard Shay address her as 'buddy'—Shay's usual term of endearment to her.

"I _am_ being honest, hon. What else do you want me to say?"

Shay said with a low voice… "If you guys aren't dating, then how else are you gonna explain your kiss with Ryan during our sleepover? It's all over the Internet now… Tumblr to be specific. I… don't know what else you guys could be doing if you two are actually 'dating'…" _I don't wanna know. _

Shay could feel her eyes burning, tears threatening to fall anytime… She felt a pang of hurt hearing how Ash deliberately tried to avoid answering her questions about Ryan…

Ash heaved a sigh, trying to find the words to say to Shay… She was caught off guard when Shay started asking questions about Ryan. She wished she could tell more… She wished she could tell her the truth… "But how?" Ash thought to herself.

"Honey… I… But you were there… You _know_ it's just a kiss."

Shay's always been confident that no matter what happens, no matter who Ash goes out with… By the end of the day, Ash would still be with her… Ash would still be hers… "Listen to yourself, Shay. Oh god, you're reacting like a jealous girl friend… We're just the best of friends," Shay debated with herself.

Shay slightly bowed her head and secretly wiped the tears streaming down her face… She suddenly felt weak. Scratch that. Exhausted… As if her strength left her just like that. She feels like she's just running in circles with Ash… Besides Ash has always tried her best to avoid talking to her about Ryan… She deemed it's just pointless to ask Ash questions about Ryan. And today shouldn't be an exception. In fact, she can count with her fingers how many times Ash brought up Ryan to her. She wondered… Could she be jealous of Ryan? No…. She can't be…

"A kiss always means something," Shay concluded. She quickly stood up, turned her back from Ash, bowed her head and wiped her tears that's been streaming down her face and walked as fast as she could… Away… Away from Ash… Wishing she could also walk away from whatever she's feeling right now…

"Shay! Hon!" Ash shouted, quickly stood up and tried to keep up with Shay's pace… Shay looked back at her, eyes red-shot from all the crying, mouthing the words "don't follow me, I mean it" to Ash.

"What the? She was crying? Dammit!"

Shay walked briskly to her car, careful not to trip, sight blurred by her tears… Seeing that Ash is almost near her… Shay frantically looked for her car keys inside her bag. Once she got a hold of her keys, she immediately started her car's engine and left the lot…

"Fine! Go! Leave!" Ash shouted to Shay's who's already almost a block away from her…

"Darn it, Shay!" Ash cursed under her breath, surprised even of the warm tears streaming down her face…

Ash grabbed her iPhone from her side pocket and speed-dialed Shay's number, endlessly muttering "Shay, pick up… pick up… c'mon, pick the hell up!"

After 7 missed calls, Shay finally picked up…

"What now, Ashley?"

"What was that about? Did you really have to go all the friggin way to the parking lot and drive away from me? How cliché of you!"

"I had... to... you should've... known... felt... that," Shay said in between her sobs, ignoring Ash' sarcastic remark.

Ash felt a tinge of hurt hearing Shay crying on the phone…. She wish she was there with her… Whatever she may have said to upset Shay, she didn't mean it… God knows how much she hates to see Shay in pain… It's just… heart… heartbreaking.

And... She can't seem to understand where all_ these _are coming from. Ash thought she and Shay are already _okay_… She already laid her cards, told her how she felt about her moving in with Alex and whatnots… Shay even spent the night at her apartment. She just… didn't see this coming—whatever this is.

Shay tried to control her tears from falling but it felt like it had its own life, as if racing each other on falling, mocking her that no matter how much she'd try to bottle up everything, her tears would always be a give away… She tried to focus on her driving but her sight blurred by her tears weren't that much of help either… She could hear Ash on the other line pleading her to 'say something' but she wondered 'how? Where would she start?' And the more she hears Ash voice, the more she feels… hurt.

"Shay, hon… talk to me, please…" Ash begged, trying her best to control her emotions, not wanting Shay to know that she's also crying in pain…

"Ash, I can't… I thought I can do this. You, Ryan… I just… I tried my best. I don't know. I can't talk to you right now. I'm heading home," Shay mumbled through her words, trying her best to focus on her driving while her other free hand wipes her tears off…

"Shay, please… tell me what's—"

And then Shay's line went dead.

* * *

><p><strong>FYI: <strong>

Shay calls Ash _"buddy"_ in real life... Recently learned it on Shay's latest Ustream.

Shay, Ash and Ryan did have a sleepover/pajama party sometime in Aug or Sept. And then Shay tweeted a pic where her face is uber close to Ash', like err she's about to kiss Ash. Ash was wearing a yellow bear-hat on that pic. I can't remember when this was exactly.. Still looking for that tweet. =/ Thing is, last week a pic of Ash kissing Ryan Good was leaked on the internet... It seemed like it was taken the same night they did the pj party because Ash is wearing the same hat. Just look up the pics on tumblr if you guys have the time...

**PS: **

I'm so sorry.. Still trying to catch up with their real life tweets and Ustreams. Um, technically I'm still on their Sept tweets. So hopefully I'll be able to incorporate their latest [October] tweets and Ustreams on the next chapters.. Please bear with me : )

Ooh, about Ian.. Should we include him on Shay's long list of admirers? Cus I noticed he looks like he has a little crush on Shay. Hehe. He seems close to her too. Or.. Let's stick to Lucian angle? Side story for other casts, perhaps? Should we involve more PLL casts on the already chaotic Shayley relationship?

Soooo, watcha guys think? Spread the Shayley and Keeshay love!

**Review, review, review! **: D


	9. Chapter 8

**Spoiler alert: This is a chapter dedicated solely to Troian and Keegan. I honestly miss having Troian on this fic… It's already bad enough that she's m****.i.a. in real life… Might as well make her involved in Shayley's chaotic relationship at least here on my fic… Plus I noticed that Troian and Keegan seems like close friends in real life… Why not let it reflect here eh? And… I figured it'd be nice to hear Keegan's stance on his 'relationship' with Shay. **

**And oh, I'm having a writer's block as we speak… Yip! Blame that! So here you go kids! Hope you'd still read this… : )**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Troian felt a little exhausted from filming her scenes today. She meant to leave the lot early to meet up with her boyfriend, Patrick, but he's running a little late... She reckoned she could use a cup of coffee with Shay or with Lucy but one of their crew men told her that Shay left early without Ash while Lucy already went out for coffee with Ian. She found it unusual for Shay to leave alone… Normally Shay drives for Ash and vice versa.

She stretched her slender arms, turned her neck a little bit on sides to ease up her tired muscles, yawned, and looked for anyone available for coffee… _"Long day…" _She wondered if Keegan is already done filming his scenes… After all, it's been a while since they last hang out.

Meanwhile Keegan finished filming his scenes almost just after Troian's. His eyes looked for Shay but she was nowhere to be found. He tried calling her but he's only getting voicemails. He sent her a few text messages but she hasn't answered any of them either…

He wondered why Shay isn't answering any of his text messages or calls… Keegan thought it's very unlikely of her. Normally Shay would pick up on the first ring and usually greets him with a welcoming voice saying "Good day, Sir Keegan" with her mocked British tone…

Keegan coyly smiled recalling how sweet Shay's voice sounds in person, even sweeter on the phone… And even if you can't see her, one can tell she's smiling on the other line—and you just can't help but smile back. His mind playfully echoed Shay's voice in his head over and over again… And as if by instinct, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and enjoyed the images of Shay smiling at him, laughing at his silly jokes, Shay eating with much gusto whenever they're dining out… And a thousand more moments with Shay that his mind kept playing for him…

Troian has been standing in front of Keegan for what seemed to be forever to her… She chuckled at the sight of Keegan looking silly sitting on the couch, eyes closed, smiling like hell… She meant to approach him with a smartass remark but she settled for something safe, so as not to ruin Keegan's moment…

"Hey, Keegs! A penny for your thoughts?"

Keegan immediately straightened himself up and cleared his throat… He felt embarrassed at the thought of Troian catching him daydreaming about Shay…

"How long have you been there?" Keegan finally said.

"I'd say, long enough," Troian replied while smirking at Keegan, arms crossed on her chest.

Troian sat beside Keegan and nudged him on the side to move a little bit to make room for her… Keegan gladly moved and playfully messed up Troian's hair.

"Watch it, abs boy. Lea would go A on you if she sees me with my messed up my hair again. Believe me, you don't wanna mess with your make up artist if you don't wanna look like an ass on tv."

Keegan teasingly recited Troian's last line, letting them share a hearty laugh at their silliness…

"So how are you eh? Everything good? You? You and Shay? Well, emphasis on _Shay_…"

Keegan faced Troian with a frown when he heard her say her last comment and wondered what could she possibly mean… _Does she know?_

Troian flashed him and a smile and said, "Don't give me that look, Keegs. I know things." She continued, "I know about you and Shay's frienting. Like seriously, you do realize what you're getting yourself into with Shay, right?"

"Who told you about frienting? Ian did, didn't he? He just has these ideas on his head… More like theories about Shay and me. You know how he is. And he's always caffeine-high," Keegan said with a shrug.

"But you know what they say, drunkards speak more truth that caffeinated people."

"Who's 'they'?" Keegan chuckled, "you're the only one who always says that."

"My point," Troian said proudly.

"Have you heard from her? Everybody's busy so I went ahead and looked for her to grab some snacks and coffee but they said she already left." _Maybe she and Ash had a fight again. Scratch that, Shay and Ash would never admit to 'them fighting' because the lamest excuse that they always come up with is that they're just out or busy with their 'other friends'. God, so obvious._

"I haven't. I tried calling her but she's not answering. Can you try to call her?"

As if on cue, Troian's Blackberry rang and was surprised to see Shay on the other line… She hesitated on answering it since she's with Keegan but she reckoned what the heck, she's dying to know if her hunch is right…

"_Hey there, sweetie. What's up?"_

_Silence. _

"_Still there, Shay?"_

"_Yeah", "Ryan", "Ash" were the only words that she can come up with from Shay—what with all the sobbing and sniffing that Shay's been doing while she's on the phone…_

"_Do you want me to come over? I can cancel my plans with Patrick. We can grab some snacks and I can complain about you making me eat all of your favorite food over and over again. What's your say?" Troian let out a faint laugh. _

"_I'm good… Thank you for listening though. You're awesommee, Troi. Is Keegan there?" Shay asked with a hint of hope. _

"_Yeah, how'd you know? He's sitting right beside me. Do you wanna talk to him?" Then Troian handed the phone to Keegan and mouthed "It's Shay". Keegan beamed when Troian handed the phone to him…_

"_Hi there, princess. I've been trying to reach you… You okay? Why'd you leave early?" Keegan asked._

_Shay felt relived hearing Keegan's voice… There's always been something about Keegan… Something about him that always makes her feel secured, at peace… Comfortable… She's always found his voice relaxing… And just hearing him say hello was more than enough for her to feel… better._

_Shay composed herself and made sure Keegan wouldn't notice that she's been crying. The last thing she'd want is for Keegan to worry about her..._ "_I'm good, Sir Keegan. I had to… I __um, I just, I had to leave early. Something came up. Are you free for breakfast tomorrow?"_

"_Of course, I am. I'm always free for you."_

"_Alrighty, Sir Keegan. I shall be expecting my buffet-ish breakfast tomorrow. I expect my knight to serve me well," Shay said in a mocked British tone. _

"_And thou shall be served well, my princess," Keegan flashed his usual boyish smile, hoping it'd reach Shay…_

_Troian cleared her throat__ trying to make her presence felt… Keegan covered the phone's mouth piece and muttered 'sorry'… Troian flashed him an okay-smile…_

"_Um, princess? I think Troian wants to talk to you…"  
><em>

"_Don't go yet, Keegs__…" Shay pleaded. And she meant it. After what happened at the parking lot with Ash… There's nothing more she wants than to hear familiar voices especially Keegan's… _

_Troian grabbed the phone from Keegan's, "Like I said, I can come over. Shouldn't take long, you know…"_

"_Aww, it's okay. I'm okay now. I appreciate it, Troi… I mean, I'm just… happy to hear your voice and Keegan's. I gotta go now..." Troian could hear Shay taking several deep breaths while she's on the phone with her. She can feel something's bothering her and it most likely have something to do with Ash. She thought of asking but she felt it may be too soon... Shay may not be ready yet to talk about it. But Troi's 99% sure whatever Shay's troubles are, it certainly has something to do with Ash.  
><em>

"_Mmmkay, take care of yourself. I'm just a call away." Keegan poked her, and pointed his index finger to himself, " And Keegan too. We're just a call a way."_

Troian slid her Blackberry phone on her pocket and said, "that was fast. Now, Keegan, I dare you to be more obvious with your feelings for Shay," Troian said smugly. She knows she hit a spot on Keegan's—and is anticipating what he'd say next.

"How'd you know? I mean, me… Shay… My feelings?"

"Um, earth to abs, you're speaking to THE Troian Bellisario, of course, I know," Troian muttered, yet trying to make her concern felt to Keegan behind her sarcastic remark. She continued, "I've seen how you look at her… How you care for her… How your eyes light up whenever she's being mentioned… Whenever she's with you… How you _lose_ yourself whenever she's around…" Troian said in an almost matter-of-fact tone with a light shrug.

She continued, "I'm just saying. I don't know how long you can put up with your set up with Shay—whatever it is. And then there's Ash… You know how jealous she is of you. Well actually of everybody except on Lucy, and me I think. And Mommy Marlene and Norman. But that's beside the point. You're just gonna get your heart broken, Keegs… Not that I wanna sound like a sappy, romantic bitch and all cus I'm not. But still… You know, lines have to be drawn… Between you and Shay. Either you two get past the _flirtationship_ or you move your _whatever-relationship_ into a different direction. Your call. Or Shay's."

"It's complicated…" Keegad muttered inaudibly.

"What isn't? Everything _is _complicated. Always. And we both know that," Troian muttered dryly.

"You know, you weren't the first person to tell me that I'll just get my heart broken… That I should stop harboring feelings for her… But, she makes me happy. She doesn't even try making me happy. I know, I know… It's so cliche to say that. But she does... And I know that she loves me too. Maybe not the way I would've wanted to… But she does. And that's more than enough for me."

"Is it? And then what's next, Keegs? What if you end up confusing her kindness and her 'love' for you to the kind of 'love' that you really wanna share with her? You tell me."

"I don't know."

Troian heaved a sigh and for a moment she tried to compose her thoughts careful not hurt his dear friend, Keegan, with her words… "Maybe that's the problem. You don't know. Or maybe you do know but you refuse to acknowledge the fact that you do know." Troian snickered, "Darn, that's a lot of "know's" in one piece of advice,"

"Troi? Do you think if I distance myself from Shay… If… Just if… Do you think Shay would come after me?"

"Honestly? I don't know… I mean, you know, Shay. She has a big heart for everybody. And I… I don't wanna keep your hopes up. But you're the next person after Ash who obviously makes her happy. That I cant honestly attest to. And besides, who am I to judge?"

"You're Troian Bellisario. You can."

"Nice one, abs boy. But seriously…"

"Ash… Ashley Victoria…" Keegan heaved a sigh at the mention of Ash' name. He felt stupid for feeling like he's competing for Shay's attention and love with Ash, but isn't he? _Hasn't he always been?_

"Abs boy, still with me?" Troi snapped her fingers at Keegan, trying to get his attention…

"Huh? Uh, yeah. Of course," Keegan replied. "Do you think Ash knows? About me and Shay? I mean, my feelings for Shay?"

Troi had to admit she found Keegan's question a little too hard to answer._ Should she tell what she knows? _She's not entirely sure how far she can go with answering Keegan's questions. It pained her that Shay, Ashley and Keegan are going through this chaotic we are/we're not together brouhaha…

Yet... It felt like she doesn't have that much of a choice either. No, it was more like Troian chose not to choose sides and just let the three figure everything themselves… It's a cruel thing to do but she knows it's for the best… for the better of everybody. Though 'better' may be an overstatement.

Troi heaved a sigh and responded, "Does Ash know? Maybe? Maybe not? I can't speak on her behalf… I'm sorry." _And she means it. She is sorry... She wished she can do much._ _But her hands are tied..._

Keegan crossed his arms, tried to find comfort for his already exhausted body by pressing his back on the couch, closed his eyes and muttered… " Troi? I love, Shay… I… love her more than I can possibly say… in words. Or act… I just do. I wish… Love was enough for two people to get together. It's not supposed to be hard… to be in love, right?"

A couple of teardrops escaped from Keegan's deep blue eyes… He's hurting. Even _he_ can't find it in his heart to admit that he's actually hurting... Because he knows… at the back of his mind, if he admits to being hurt, it's just as if he admitted to being defeated…

"I wish, Keegs. I honestly wish it's that easy," Troian responded in a low voice… and then she rested her head on Keegan's broad shoulders… "I know you love her, Keegs. You're a good guy with a good heart," Troian whispered while she laced her hand on Keegan's arm…

Both closed their eyes… Feeling silly for wishing a better day ahead of them… When they both know for a fact…

_The day has just started._

* * *

><p><strong>PS:<strong>

Whatcha think of Keegan? Poor Keegan eh? I feel for him. Really. If Ash and Shay aren't gonna be together in real life, I honestly wish Shay would end up with him. Or better yet, he can just end up with me because I'm [mentally] dating Keegan gorgeous Allen. Kidding! : p

Promise I'm gonna try writing more fluffy Shayley moments next chapter. Sorrrry! : (

**REE****VVIIEEWWWSS means more chapters!** : D


	10. Chapter 9

**A special shout out to my lil sis, Fefi... Lil sis, bet you'd recognize something here! Shout out also for my Shayley ship sisters-Shayleybabies, Shayleydaily, Mitchbenzolove, ShipShayley and fellow author, xTasteTheRaInboWx! Sending my love also to Ires_andrea and Rainrain23 :) Much, much thanks also the rest of you guys who favorited me and this fic/added this fic on your story alerts... Wow! Hope there'd be more Shayley shippers! Thank you very much for the support and the reviews!**

**This chapter is quite longer than I anticipated… Here you go kids, enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

"Do we really need this much?" Ryan asked Ash while looking at their grocery cart filled with junk foods, chocolates, pizza ingredients and other 'healthy' foods he's not even aware of…

"Yeah," Ash said absentmindedly; one headset piece plugged to her ear while her right arm is holding Olly, the other free hand holding her iPhone… She's been trying to get a hold of Shay but to no avail… She settled listening to Maroon 5's album instead…

...

"_How __does __it __feel __to __know __you __never __have __to __be __alone?_

_When you get home?_

_There must be someplace here that only you and I could go_

_So I can show you how I feel"_

_*Sweetest goodbye – Maroon 5_

...

Ash stopped walking when a cereal box caught her attention…

_**Flashback… Based on Ash and Shay's real life tweet…_

_shaymitch: I would like for this cold to go away now. #ugh_

_2 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

_AshBenzo: Since taking a bite of your cereal im catching it booooo RT shaymitch: I would like for this cold to go away now. #ugh_

_3 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

_..._

_Ash grabbed her iPhone and called Shay…_

"_Hon, I'm sick. Your fault," Ash said in between her sneezing, while she grabbed another tissue on her side… She's been feeling lightheaded throughout the day thanks to the colds that she got from Shay…_

"_Buddy? You okay there? Are you really sick? Or you just want me to come over there?" Shay teased._

_Ash can tell Shay was smiling while she was teasing her… "Of course, I am! And yeah… That too. I miss you… Come over now, please? Pretty please?" Ash pleaded._

"_You didn't have to say please, babe. Of course, I'm going. Give me an hour okay? I'm almost done here… Are you at the apartment?"_

"_Yeah," Ash said after she sneezed again._

"_Wait, whose apartment? Yours or mine?" Shay asked._

"_Mine, silly. I'll wait for you, okay? Hurry up…" Ash said while she played on her remote control, flipping from one channel to another…_

"_I'm coming, love. Hang on," Shay said sweetly… And then she went back to their set and finished shooting her scenes…_

_..._

_Shay went through her bag looking for her spare keys of Ash' apartment. For a moment, she worried that she must've forgotten it at her apartment… It's already bad enough that it took her longer than she promised to finish shooting her scenes due to technical difficulties on set…_

"_Oh gosh, it's gotta be here," Shay whispered to herself anxiously… And when she found her spare keys, she paced immediately to Ash' room and found her sound asleep…_

_She thought of waking up Ashley but she decided not to… Instead she went to Ash' cabinet, grabbed one of Ash' lose Lakers shirts and changed into it… She also went ahead and changed into more comfortable shorts and found her set of slippers exactly where she last left it…_

_Shay picked up a few pieces of used tissues on Ash' bed and threw them away… She also picked a few of Ash' clothes left on her bed and put it on her laundry bin instead… She made a mental note of bringing their dirty clothes to the laundry shop but she figured that can wait…_

_Shay walked to the left side of the bed… Shay chuckled when she recalled Ash usually prefers sleeping on the side while she couldn't really care less…_

_Ash looks sound asleep while hugging the pillow that she gave to her… Shay sat on the floor, crossed her legs, her face drawn close to Ashley's… Shay tucked a few strands of Ash' hair giving her a better view of Ash' beautiful face…_

_A sweet smile curved on Shay's lips while she stared at Ash' pretty face, looking serenely asleep… She then traced Ashley's face gently with her index finger as if trying to memorize it, enjoying the calmness radiating from Ash… Shay drew her face closer to Ash' and was about to kiss her when she stopped midair…_

_She was taken aback when Ash caught her finger, Ash' eyes still closed…_

"_Are you fantasizing about me, Shannon?" Ash teased, eyes still closed, her left hand still not letting go of Shay's index finger…_

"_No! Of course not, why would? I just… I mean you looked—"_

"_Pretty? I know," Ash continued teasing Shay, still not letting go of her finger… Still feeling woozy because of her colds..._

"_Come here…" Ash' voice already coarse, "Buddy wants to snuggle… Buddy wants it now…" Ash said, playfully mocking a command on Shay…_

"_Done and done boss," Shay's eyes beamed while she heaved a sigh of contentment, stood up, Ash's eyes still closed with her hand still not letting go of her finger…_

_Shay snuggled closer to Ash and buried her face to Ash' neck… She let herself drown with Ash' faint smell of shampoo… Ash still not letting go of her finger… Shay tried to release her finger from Ash' hand but Ash held it tighter instead and tugged her, drawing her closer to Ash'… Shay placed a light kiss behind Ash' ear and whispered, " feel better, buddy… for me?"_

_Ash smiled when she heard Shay's voice, eyes still closed, both slowly breathing, enjoying their moment… Ash then laced her hands with Shay's and held it tight… Wishing they can stay like 'this'… Always._

_And then Ash responded, "I will… For you."_

* * *

><p><em>** Based on Shay's real life best friend, DJ Alex' tweet…<em>

_DJALEXMERRELL: Abandoned plans to hike because of all the LA road closures & ended up getting a massage with shaymitch instead... Thanks BarackObama._

_27 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

_DJALEXMERRELL: Chloe, Alex (with a mean St Barth tan), and shaymitch all dressed up and ready to hit the town! twitpic(dot)com(slash)6r7iup_

_27 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

Alex just finished dj-ing at the House of Paladin and made a mental note to call Shay to remind her about their night out with Chloe. And if she remembers it right, Shay should be finished shooting her scenes already, enough time for her to get ready before they pick her up for a drive and a dinner in L.A…

Chloe on the other hand just finished practicing for her upcoming concert. She freed her schedule for the evening as soon as she got a call from Alex telling her that they'll be out for dinner with Shay. Both Alex and Chloe were excited to hit the town amidst their busy schedules.

….

Alex parked her car outside Shay's apartment… She checked herself on her rearview mirror, and when satisfied she stepped out of her car and walked to Shay's apartment…

"Shay?" Alex said in between her knocking… Alex didn't get any response after a few knocks so she decided to call Shay instead… Shay picked up on the first ring…

"Yeah?" Shay said lazily.

"I'm outside your apartment sweetie. Open up," Alex replied.

Shay jerked up from her bed and walked to her door… As soon as she opened it, she welcomed Alex with a tight embrace, not wanting to let go, as if trying to draw some strength...

"Hey, hey…" Alex said gently to the quiet Shay who's still not letting go of her… "You okay?"

"Yeah, I am. I just missed you. That's all," Shay responded after letting go of Alex, wiped a few tears off of her cheeks, and walked to her couch…. She lumped her tired body on the couch and rested both of her feet on the table… Alex followed her and sat beside her…

"You missed me? You're a bad liar, Shay. C'mon, sweetie. Deets!" Alex replied.

"Are we gonna meet Chloe later?" Shay retorted, avoiding Alex' question.

"Yes, we are. Oh! By the way, I got you something," Alex said while going through her bag. She brought out a pile of interior design magazines and handed them all to Shay. "Now aren't you excited? See this bathroom? It'd be perfect for our apartment," Alex said while she pointed out a picture of a semi-transparent shower cubicle to Shay. Shay made a mental note to look for a similar picture online and post it on her tumblr…

And then Alex continued, "cheer up! Let me see a smile on your face, c'mon?" Alex said while she playfully bumped her shoulder on Shay's shoulder.

Shay thanked Alex with a half-smile and casually skimmed through the magazine pages… Still not saying a word to the curious Alex. Shay felt sorry for being not her usual bubbly self but after that confrontation she had with Ash at the parking lot, she suddenly felt exhausted and would rather stay in and probably just watch a movie or catch up on Gossip Girl. She's been meaning to call Ash and apologize about her actions but she can't seem to find the courage to do so after she somewhat broke her silence about her feelings on Ash dating Ryan…

"It's Ash, is it? What happened this time?" Alex asked, as if she read Shay's mind.

Shay furrowed her eyebrows and pretended she didn't hear Alex…

Alex pushed, "so it _is_ Ash. Really, what happened sweetie?"

Shay heaved a sigh and met Alex' eyes full of concern for her… She tried to fight back the tears that she's been holding… She just can't….

"Hush now, ssshhh…" Alex said while she embraced Shay, gently rubbing her back to comfort her. "Have you been crying since you got here?" Shay quietly nodded. "Stay here, sweetie…"

Alex got up, went to Shay's kitchen and walked back to where she and Shay were sitting and handed Shay a glass of cold water… "Here, drink this… You're probably dehydrated now."

"I… I lashed out on Ash… today… I shouldn't have," Shay said, finally breaking her silence.

Alex took a deep breath and said, "you're always crying. Seriously. It's gotta stop. You… Ash…" Alex' eyes searched for a box of tissue on Shay's apartment but she figured Shay must have used them up all already…

Shay then recalled to Alex what happened at the parking lot earlier the day… That Keegan gave him a music box and told Ash about it, that she felt like Ash was jealous of Keegan again but she won't admit it, how she left Ash at the parking lot and how she subtly brought up her feelings about Ash dating Ryan…

"What did Ash say?" Alex asked.

"Nothing. I… I didn't give her a chance to explain," Shay replied weakly, recalling she has 5 missed calls and two voicemails from Ashley, add to that the 8 text messages that she's received from Ash asking her to talk to her…

"You should have let her explain," Alex said rationally.

Shay paused and said, "what's there to explain? I know for a fact that they're going out… She and Ryan… _We_ all know… Even our fans are getting the idea already that they are."

"Then what are you so upset about if you're _really_ okay with it?" Alex probed. "You three have gone out before, quite a lot... You even had a Ustream with Ash and Ryan back in June, you guys also had a pajama party with Ry back in August... You seem to be okay with it?" Alex responded although she knew better…

Shay rested her eyes and leaned on Alex shoulder… "I am _okay_ with it. Why wouldn't I be? Ash is also my best friend. I want her to be… happy. Whoever she's with. Even if it's Ryan."

"Are you? Really?" Alex asked meaningfully. And continued, "then why did you have to delete your tweet of your 'almost kiss' picture with Ashley? Were you scared that the pictures would say the words that you can't say out loud?" Alex paused, "you know what they say, a picture can say a thousand words…"

"Touché," Shay half-smiled at what Alex said… Alex had always known which buttons to push on her, and she nailed it again…

"That's different," Shay responded.

"How so?" Alex said casually.

"I don't know… I…" Shay said while she heaved a sigh of frustration. "I mean, I _had_ _to_ delete it because our fans are already thinking that Ash and I… That, well… That Ash and I have feelings for each other," Shay retorted. "They even have a couple's name for us, 'Shayley'…" Shay said shyly. "It's cute—Shayley…"

"Hmmm, and the last thing you and Ash would want are fans thinking that you two are secretly together," Alex said in matter-of-fact tone. "That you and Ash-just friends? And you're concerned about Ryan eh?" Alex said; half-convinced at what Shay just said. "When did Ash start going out with Ryan again?"

Shay's face looks like she's going to crumble again anytime when she said, "February this year." Alex instinctively caressed Shay's arm to comfort her… While both shared a quiet moment of understanding…

Shay broke their silence and continued, "I mean I told Ash it might be better to just have it deleted on my timeline and my [Whosay] album … I just, well, we don't want other people getting the wrong ideas about Ash and me; especially now that everybody knows she's going out with Ryan. And besides… Ash and I, we're just _friends_… No matter what people say or how fans see it… _Just__friends,'__Shay__convinced__herself.__"_It'll be unfair to Ryan to not get the support that he deserves for being with Ash, don't you think?"

Alex wanted to respond, "do you? really?" but she opted to keep the question to herself...

Shay added, "I… Well, there's a picture of Ash and Ryan kissing during our pajama party that's already been leaked on the Internet…" Shay heaved a sigh and continued, "everybody's probably have seen it especially our fans. It's like everybody's just waiting for Ash and Ryan to go out and put a label on their relationship and-"

"They're not doing that," Alex cut her off and continued, "And I don't think Ash has any plans of doing that anytime soon. Does Ash know? Have you told her already?"

"About what?" Shay asked.

Alex can't help but worry for Shay sometimes… Especially whenever she's having a 'situation' with Ash… "You know what... _That__…__._" Alex pressed her.

Shay remained silent over Alex' last statement and wondered to herself if she made the mistake of waiting… Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Alex say…

"You know, you two should've deleted the picture in the first place when it first got out. I mean, why just now? Or better yet…" Alex paused for a moment, "I hate to say it but maybe you two shouldn't have tweeted and posted that picture of you and Ash when clearly _you_ weren't ready for the repercussions of your actions…" Alex remarked, referring to Shay and Ash' picture where Shay looked like she's about to kiss Ash on the lips at In-and-Out with Ryan on the background; Ash wearing the same yellow bear hat that she wore on the picture that was leaked almost two weeks ago where she's kissing Ryan…

….

_Re: Shayley's "almost kiss"… This is Ashley's real life tweet about it…_

_AshBenzo: In n out shaymitch and thatrygood lockerz(dot)com(slash)s(slash)131592701_

_21 Aug Favorite Retweet Reply_

_AshBenzo: __Love uu RT shaymitch: Pajama party success ! thatrygood and ashbenzo ...Love these two! say(dot)ly(slash)UcsCs2_

_21 Aug Favorite Retweet Reply_

….

"I know," Shay agreed in a low voice… "You're right…"

"I know for a fact that Ash and Ryan are going out more often now than they used to… But we can get past that. You always have… I know, you can. _You__and__Ash__have__something_… _It's__there_. We can all see it. I can see it," Alex stressed to Shay while she held Shay's left hand and gently squeezed it, assuring her she _can_ get past this like she always had before….Yet at the back of her mind, she wished Shay didn't have to go through these things over and over again...

"Tell you what? Let's get Ash off of your mind, okay? Why don't we hit the city and get a massage? And then after we can pick up Chloe for dinner… She already freed her evening for us," Alex said cheerfully.

Shay's face lit up when she heard 'massage'… "That would be nice," Shay thought to herself.

"See? You're smiling now! Now we're talking," Alex cooed. She couldn't be any happier seeing Shay finally flash a smile… She wished she could do more to cheer up her hurting friend… But she can only do much.

Shay nodded in agreement and heavily walked back to her room and changed to casual clothes…

"All set, sweetie?" Alex asked to Shay who's already grabbing her iPhone and her bag.

"Yeah, in a minute," Shay replied while she grabbed from her drawer her "love" charm bracelet.

The two walked the hallway of Shay's apartment's building, holding on to each other's arms, Shay doing it more for support literally and figuratively… When they got to Alex car, Shay went inside and sat on the passenger's seat… She rested her head and was just glad Alex came for her…

Alex opened her car door when her phone suddenly rang. Alex frowned when she saw who's on the other line. Sure, they're civil to each other, and they go out as long as Shay is going with them too… But _this_ is very unlikely…

Shay wondered what's taking Alex long to get on the car… And when Alex finally did…

"Was that Chloe on the phone?" Shay asked.

"Um, yeah, she said she'll see us after we get our massage," Alex lied, and secretly apologized to Shay for doing so when for a fact…

"_Hey, __Alex? __I've __a __favor __to __ask__…__"__Ash __said __on __the __other __line._

* * *

><p><strong>FYI:<strong>

- Ryan and Ash did start going out back in February this year… At least that's what Google told me. Hehehe. Well, let's just assume Google is correct, ookay?

- Olly is Ashley's dog…

- Ash, Shay and Ryan did a Ustream back in June '11…

- Ash listens to Maroon 5 based on her real life tweet…

_AshBenzo :Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon 5_

_21 Sep Favorite Retweet Reply_

- Chloe is also Shay's real life close friend… And yep, she's an awesome pianist. You may follow Chloe and DJ alex on Twitter… Chloe's chloeflower on twitter while DJ Alex is djalexmerrell. Check out DJ Alex' mixes. They're pretty rad : )

**Kids, this is important… Listen up…**

Remember in Chapter 7 I said I was looking for Shayley's tweet about their In-and-Out pajama party with Ryan? Well, good thing I looked for it because surprise, surprise… I found out that "almost kiss" pic is no longer on Shay's timeline. I swear to God, my Shayley memory serves me right, Shay _did_ tweet about that picture before Ashley did. Anyone who can prove me wrong is welcome to say so though… I'd be happy to revise this chapter if that would be the case. You guys know I'm trying my best to make this fic look as realistic as possible...

By the way, Ash still has the tweet about that "almost kiss" on her twitter and she still has that picture on her Twitter album as we speak…

**PS:**

I did feel the need to dedicate my Chapter 8 to Troian and Keegan. They play important roles in Shayley's lives here and in real life and I think it's important also to understand their pov's on Shayley (fic). Also… Keegan isn't the bad guy here [in my fic]. Let's all give him a chance. He's done nothing but be there for Shay despite knowing _things_ about Shayley…

Yes, more Shayley secrets and moments to be revealed on the coming chapters… Only if you want me to keep writing, of course. Although to be honest, I don't know how long I'm gonna be writing this fic…

_Depends on you guys. So…_

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts about this chapter?<strong>


	11. Chapter 10

**Hey, hey! I'm very, very sorry it took me this long to write an update. I've been so busy with work I rarely have time to tweet or go out these days. Did you guys miss me? T_T**

**Sooo, I meant to write a chapter update about our favorite characters' latest tweets and Ustreams but lately I've been obsessing over writing this flashback of Shay's 24th birthday celeb back in April '11. This is actually a 3-part story. Yep, that long. Yay! : )**

**Special shout out for xkxtxfx, 064548, L.J.A. Clarke who I noticed have also been constantly reviewing my fic… And to the rest of you anons and fanfic members… Thank you for the alerts! Thank you for reading and leaving your reviews! **

**I'm keeping my fingers crossed this chapter was worth the wait. I'm _almost done_ writing the remaining two-installments for our Drunk Shay as we speak… I'll be uploading the succeeding parts periodically. Hope you'd enjoy this kids!**

* * *

><p><strong>Flashback… Part 1<strong>

**Chapter 10**

_April 16, 2011_

Shay has been staring at her closet full of dresses for a good hour already. 'Black or Blue?' she wondered to herself. She thought of asking Alex' opinion but Alex was also busy herself trying to pick her dress. Both girls couldn't decide on what they should wear... Why wouldn't they? It's Shay's birthday. Both girls have been looking forward to it especially Shay. All the important people that mattered to Shay are coming...

"Except for a few," Shay heaved a sigh while she murmured these words under her breath. She felt a tinge of hurt recalling those words... Shay tried to push away the images that have been haunting her the past few weeks. Had she known that it would happen... That things would end up this way... _'No, no... It wasn't my fault,'_ Shay convinced herself.

Alex on the other hand was busy rummaging Shay's closet... She and Shay likes to share things, rather keep things together and dresses aren't any exception to that. Like last week when they bought their dresses for Shay's b-day party... Both girls had to buy at least two pairs for each of them, and the best excuse they can come up with was 'in case anything spills on their dress, at least they have an extra.'

'Sweetie, do u think I should go for this creamy-ish long dress? I think it says 'hi, I'm a sexy, sophisticated lady' or this red dress that says 'hi, I can be the crazy hot chick on the floor'? Shay-busy with her own thoughts while staring at her two dresses, failed to hear Alex' question... Alex seeing Shay wrapped with her thoughts again, put down her dresses on the side of her bed, grabbed one of Shay's arms and gently shook Shay.

Shay gasped when she felt Alex' hands on her arm. She was too engrossed deciding on which dress to wear, on which shoes and accessories,_ on so many things in so many levels_; being extra attentive to her surroundings became too much of a burden already…

"Alex!" Shay exclaimed, "you frightened me! Oh my-!" Shay exclaimed while both of her hands covered her mouth out of shock.

"Seriously? You're kidding, right? I was just standing like 7 ft. away from you, lady," Alex retorted amusedly at Shay while she let out a teasing chuckle. "Why? What's going on in your head?"

"Nothing," Shay said while she slightly looked down on the floor and tried her best to avoid Alex' questioning eyes.

Alex crossed her arms across her chest and slightly changed her standing position, "why are you so convinced that I believe you whenever you say 'nothing'? You know I don't. Is it-" Alex chuckled.

"Do you think I should... Call? You know, just to ask how he's been..." Shay said in an apologetic tone for cutting Alex off on what she was saying. She fiddled on her blue dress' straps and looked at it longingly. She slightly raised both dresses to give her a better view, while a small bitter smile curved on her beautiful face...

Alex could sense the hesitation on Shay's end... And she felt like she may be right on what may be bothering Shay but she reckoned Shay often talks about her obsessions whenever she's ready. 'Obsessions' was their nickname for Shay's well 'obsessions' literally and figuratively... Alex smirked at the thought of Shay over-analyzing things again.

"What do you think? Call him? Maybe I should call Troian too. You know just to make sure that they're coming," Shay said.

"Mmm, it's up to you sweetie. It might be better to call Troian first," Alex replied with a light shrug after she grabbed both the red and cream-colored dresses off of her bed. Shay then grabbed her Blackberry and dialed Troian's number. Troi's not picking up... "Maybe she's filming her scenes," Shay thought to herself. She debated with herself if she should try calling Troi again... But her curiosity won over reason... She called Troian again this time with success...

"Hey there! I'm sorry. I missed your call. I was shooting scenes with Keegs, you know the usual… So how are you?" Troian said, sounding exhausted like she often does after her long shoots.

Shay felt her knees grow weak when she heard Troian mention Keegan's name... It was that familiar feeling again... That kind of feeling where akward-ness combined with a tinge of sadness meet in a rather unusual situation... Or is it the 'guilt' feeling? Shay wasn't entirely sure. It was heartbreaking nonetheless. And it's the kind of feeling that's rather unwelcome but has always, always made it's way to her heart.

Shay wondered if Keegan's coming to her party... She's been trying to reach him through text and phone calls but with little success. These past few weeks Keegan would only greet her in the morning or ask her how her day went... She's tried to reach out to him on set but whenever she asks him out for their usual breakfasts or coffee stops, Keegan more often than not tells her that he still has scenes to shoot or that he'd be hanging out with Ian, Troian or Tyler. Shay wondered if Keegan is deliberately avoiding her or was she just imagining things? Was she just trying to put more color into Keegan's actions? _'But it wasn't her fault, was it?'_ Shay wondered.

"It's not your fault," Alex said in an almost casual tone... Shay looked at her with a puzzled look. "Silly, I heard you. You were thinking out loud again. You're still on the phone with Troi, aren't you?" Alex retorted.

Shay was caught off guard again and felt embarrassed for obsessing again...

It was the 3rd time that Troian called her name when Shay snapped back to reality...

"I'm, uh, good. I am," Shay said timidly, admittedly half-convinced of what she just told Troi. "Are you coming? Is Keegs coming tonight?" Shay asked, finally able to muster these words...

There was a long pause before Troian spoke... Shay was almost sure she's not gonna like what she'd hear next. And knowing Troian who always speaks her mind out every time, long pauses from her end usually means she's re-composing her thoughts, making sure her choice of words are most convenient and... Less truth-hurts-so-deal-with-it kind of way…

"Um, about Keegs. I don't think he's coming. He said he has to head home to meet his mom for dinner and then some of his old friends. I know, sounds lame-ish." Troian let out a faint laugh with a hint of sarcasm.

It was this time that Shay was grateful Troian's being her usual honest self. Shay figured Troian's always been rational about so many things... About almost everything, in fact. There's no denying hearing her stance on what transpired almost two months ago would talk some sense into her. For... A better understanding, at the very least.

"How about you? Are you coming?" Shay asked in a low voice, afraid that she'll hear the worst.

Troi sighed and said, "I..."

Hearing Troian sigh was enough confirmation already of what she dreaded to hear...

"I... can't go dear. I have this thing with Patrick. I mean you know I wouldn't miss your b-day for the world. But remember the indie film that we've been planning about for weeks already? It's in the works now and tonight we'll be meeting potential film producers... I'm so, so, sorry... And Keegs... He..." Troian secretly hoped Shay felt the sincerity behind her words. She had to admit that what she said sounded like a lame excuse for ditching her b-day but it's nothing but the truth. She hissed a curse unintentionally, out of annoyance from their potential producers, whereas she has deliberately tried to re-schedule their meeting to avoid clashing with Shay's b-day celebration.

"And Keegs?" Shay asked.

"He, um," Troian hesitated for a moment and looked at Keegan's direction. She continued, "I don't think he's going. I think he really meant it when he said he's gonna go meet his mom and his old friends. I'm sorry… " And Troian meant it. _She is sorry._

"Oh," Shay said weakly. "It's ok, Troi. You don't have to be sorry. It's not... Your fault," The last word felt like a huge lump stuck in her throat.

Troian sat for a moment and tried her best to come up with the best words for Shay. She knows her friend is at her most vulnerable state at the moment... And the last thing she'd want is for Shay to feel 'responsible' of what happened between her and Keegan almost two months ago.

"Really, it's ok, Troi. If… I mean if Keegs doesn't push through with his dinner with his mom. Look after him will you? I just... I... You know what I'm trying to say, right?" Shay sighed as she tried to speak her heart out behind her mumbling.

Sure, Troian does… It's a huge weight to carry on, truth be told. But she's a friend to Shay and Keegan... And Ashley. "Oh god! Ashley!" Troian secretly exclaimed to herself and almost as if by instinct tapped her forehead while she shook his head.

"I know... Just go have fun tonight. I'm with you by spirit, no matter how cliche-ish it sounds," Troian said with a chuckle. And then she added, this time with a serious tone, "I'll be there for him. You know that I will," while she glanced back at Keegan's direction.

Both shared a moment of quiet understanding... Almost in agreement that it's best for Troi to be with Keegan these days... And didn't Troi and Keegs become close friends because of what happened between Shay and Keegan almost 2 months ago? Ironically, both Shay and Troian felt grateful for that. Keegs could use some company... especially now. Shay is extremely grateful and somewhat at peace knowing Troi's been there for Keegs these past few weeks. She would've been that person... But with her current situation with Keegan, that's rather unlikely. It'll be too awkward to say the least.

"Ashley's coming right? How are you two?" Troian said, unaware that she broke Shay's reminiscent thoughts.

"We're great. She's gonna come pick me up and Alex in two hours, I think. She said she's just gonna meet Ryan for a bit to grab something. Um not really sure," Shay replied.

Troian was delighted to hear Shay's sudden change of tone of voice-from sullen to excited but she couldn't help but respond, "Ryan eh? Really, hmmm" meaningfully.

"Hmm? What was the hmmm for, Troi?" Shay asked quizzically.

"Nothing. You should prolly get ready. I gotta go. I'm so sorry again... I'll make it up to you I promise! Oww! Too bad I won't get to see you drunk," Troian teased.

Shay laughed at Troi's joke, "you know that I don't drink, silly genius." Shay sometimes calls Troian 'genius'… That was her pet name for Ms.-Smarty-Pants-Troian-Belisario. "Troi?"

"Yeah?"

"Just keep your promise, ok? Look after him."

"I will dear," Troian said while looking at Keegan's direction. "Shay?"

"Yeah?"

"Have fun, okay? Have fun with Ashley. You two are okay, right?" Troian said, and somewhat regretted her last question.

"Yeah. We're okay. Why wouldn't we be?" Shay said while she slightly furrowed her eyebrows_. "What does she mean?"_ Shay thought to herself.

"Um, nothing. I really have to go. Have fun, birthday girl! Hugs and kisses from the set," Troi replied happily.

"I will," Shay said with a smile. And then Troi's line went dead.

Shay laid her back on Alex' bed and rested her aching back for a bit. She had a long day filming her scenes on set... She partly wished she could move her b-day celebration but everything's already prepared at the club.

"Sooo, have you decided?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. I picked the _black_ dress. That's Ashley's favorite color. I'm sure she'd like it." Shay's cheeks flustered and felt a little antsy over Ashley seeing her. Ash insisted before on buying her a dress for her birthday celebration but she declined and instead promised to Ash it'll just be a surprise.

"And what about the _blue_ one? Are you keeping it?"

"I am... I intend to," Shay said with a tone of contentment. "Can we lay here for a few more mins? My back hurts from working all day," Shay said in exasperation.

"Aw, okay. Ooh, turn, Shay," Alex said. Shay dutifully turned her back and then Alex started massaging her back... Easing her upper back pains.

"Did I hear it right? Ashley's gonna see Ryan first before coming over here? And you're ok with that?" Alex said while massaging Shay's back.

"Yeah. Guess I am. Why wouldn't I be? She can see anyone including Ryan. Ooh, try some massage on my lower left side," Shay said with her eyes closed.

"Sure?" Alex said.

"Yeah. I'm sure-lower left side please." Shay said.

"No sweetie. I mean with Ashley... And Ryan. You sure you're ok with that?" Alex pushed.

"Yeah. I am," Shay retorted. _Am I? Really?_

Shay found it weird of Troi and Alex to be asking her if she and Ash are okay. _Why wouldn't we be? Wonder where'd that come from. I don't understand why Alex seems to be implying the same thing that Troi just did-like if I'm okay with Ash going out with Ryan. Hey... Ryan's just Ashley's friend, isn't he? Should I be worried? _

Shay forced to close her eyes, and tried her best to push away the thoughts that's been bugging her. Instead she focused on the thought of seeing Ash the moment she opens her hotel room's door...

And… There's nothing Shay looks forward to than to start and end the day with Ashley. It just... It simply feels so right in so many ways that she can't explain. Sure, Alex is also her best friend for god knows how long already...

But with Ash, it's different... She felt a little guilty for being extra happy whenever she's with Ash... For smiling ear-to-ear more when she's with her... For wanting and actually spending more time with her... For having smiling eyes like there's no tomorrow whenever she's around... For enjoying Ashley's company too much... For smiling like crazy whenever she sees Ashley smile back at her or laugh at her silly jokes and innuendoes... For letting her be herself... For always inspiring her to be the best version of herself... All these… She gets to be that kind of person whenever she's with Ash. Always.

* * *

><p>Troian stood up and walked to Keegan's direction. And once she found him, she grabbed their set's coffee maker and poured some on her cup. She offered to pour on Keegan's cup but he just met her eyes and slowly shook his head.<p>

"You ok, abs boy?" Troi said while pouring coffee on her cup.

"Of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Keegan said in a low voice, legs crossed, hands clasped together, looking distantly at Ian and Lucy filming their scenes.

"Yeah, why _wouldn't_ you be," Troi shot back at Keegan. "But seriously, I don't know how you do it, Keegs."

"Do what?" Keegan asked absent-mindedly.

_"This_… You know Shay called me a while ago. She asked about you..."

"Ow? What did you tell her?"

"Told her the truth. That you can't go because you have to see your mom and your old friends. That's the truth, right?"

"Yeah. Sure," Keegan said blankly.

"Keegs, you gotta get a grip... Of yourself. Look at you. You're always quiet... You're either shooting your scenes or your just sitting around, looking brooding and all while your mind is obviously lost in some outer space," Troian remarked while holding her cup of coffee, as if she's just discussing the current stock trade with Keegan.

Keegan dropped his head onto his hands and sighed, and secretly wiped the tears that he's been struggling to fight. _Man up, Keegan Allen. C'mon, man up._ And when he looked up to meet Troian's analyzing eyes, he felt his heart shatter into pieces again...

Troian held on to her cup tighter than she should the moment she saw the look on Keegan's face... He looked so devastated, defenseless, weak, like he haven't had any sleep in weeks. Even his usual side swept hair is almost disheveled... There was genuine hurt resting in his eyes... _Were those streaks of tears?_ The sight of Keegan before him is immensely heartbreaking.

"That bad huh?" Were all the words that Troian can come up with.

Keegan heaved a sigh and silently nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p><strong>FYI:<strong>

By the way, I did a little tweaking off of what really happened on Shay's birthday and who actually came… In reality, Troian and Keegan didn't make it on Shay's birthday celeb at Chateau Nightclub. Dunno why... Not yet a PLL fan back in April. If you could tell me why, I'd appreciate it. : )

I also skipped the part where Shay, Ashley and Lucy attended the 22nd Annual Glaad Awards before heading to the club only because it slipped my mind… Forgive me? : ( Thing is I already wrote the chapters when I remembered that they went to the Awards show first before they celebrated Shay's birthday. My bad, but who knows? Maybe I can write a separate flashback about it.

**PS: **

Did anybody notice the symbolism behind the_ black dress_ and the_ blue dress_? Any guesses?

Thoughts anyone? Lemme know!


	12. Chapter 11

**Here's the 2nd part of Shay's birthday celeb. By the way, I couldn't find the exact date as to when Shay tweeted about her birthday but good thing I found a JustJared Jr. article about Shay's 24th birthday celebration at Chateau Nightclub. **

**Link: http(colon)(slash)(slash)bit(dot)ly(slash)e9QW12**

* * *

><p><strong>Flashback… Part 2<strong>

**Chapter 11**

_Based on Shay's real life tweet back in April '11…._

_shaymitch: So happy to be with all my girlies ! Tonight is going to be F-U-N :)_

...

"Where's Frankie? Is he coming already? Wait, is he gonna meet us here? Or is he just gonna go straight to the club? Did he send you a text yet?" Shay asked Alex from one question to another.

"Ya gotta chill. Frankie's coming. He said he'd just head straight to the club. He also mentioned Tyler and Lucy will be doing the same."

Shay was busy reading her birthday tweet-greetings when she received a notification that she got a new text message. She smiled; eyes sparkled instantly the moment she read Ashley's text. It said: _I'll be there in 10 minutes, babe. We're gonna have fun tonight, I promise! Bet you look gorge on your dress! Mwaahhh! xo Ashley._ Shay can just imagine Ashley saying these words to her ears, sending her butterflies; feeling excited over 10 mins that seemed to be taking forever to be over.

"Alex, Ash said she's coming over in ten. You ready?" Shay asked.

"Yeah! Almost!" Alex exclaimed while at the living room, looking rather content on what she's seeing in front of her mirror.

Meanwhile, Shay walked to the mirror and glanced at herself... She gave herself a reassuring smile, satisfied at what she's seeing in front of her... She's wearing a 'Jerell Scott' black mini dress, with gems stemming from her dress' neckline to the bottom covering practically the whole dress, leaving just enough space for a see-through area on her chest…. Shay opted to leave her hair down and wear just a minimal amount of accessories… Giving her a rather smoky, dark, sexy look…

Shay tried her best to put her nervousness on seeing Ash at bay. It was a good nervous feeling... It's just that she wanted to look great when Ash sees her. Plain as that.

* * *

><p>Ashley cursed Las Vegas' traffic under her breath. It's already bad enough that she had to see Ryan first before heading to Shay's<em>.' guy is fkucin persistent,' <em>Ash murmured under her breath. _Why the hell did he pick today to introduce me to Justin? Ugh! That guy has serious bad timing._

"Aw, crap!" Ashley cursed when she missed the green light for a split-second...

* * *

><p>"Alex? Ash- -" Shay shouted from her bedroom... Not knowing Alex is already in her bedroom.<p>

"I know. Ash is coming already. It's all over your face," Alex said with a teasing wink. Shay wished she didn't blush as much as she would've imagined... _Dang, she can't help it._ Ash is coming in a few minutes. Her heart it already racing fast as we speak… She's smiling now from ear to ear...

As if on cue, her Blackberry rang with Ashley on the other line...

_Ash: Babe, I can't find a parking space. I'm already downstairs. Can you just go here instead? I'll wait for you and Alex. _

_Shay: Done and done boss! _

_Ash: Mmkay, great!_

_Shay: Hmmm, Ash? Did you miss me babe?_

_Ash smiled widely on the other end... "Of course, I did. Silly. Get your gorge bod here already. I wanna see you... Like now. Seriously. I missed you that much," Ash cooed like a toddler. _

_Shay covered her phone's mouthpiece... 'Alex! Hurry! We're meeting her up on the streets. No parking space.' "My gobstopper missed me eh? You'll miss me more after the party. I'm flying back to Vancouver with Alex."_

_Ash straightened herself, her mood suddenly changed. "What? You are?" _

_"Kidding! I'm kidding babe! I gotcha!" Shay playfully teased. _

_"No, you didn't. I knew you weren't going to Vancou. I was just, um, I'm a friggin actress. Of course I was just acting surprised when you said that, like duh," Ash said defensively. ' Lie.' She wasn't ready if ever Shay's really going to Vancou after her birthday celebration. And she can't be sure herself if she can afford to miss her any more than she feels right now. Their different schedules these past few weeks have been cutting off their 'Shay and Ash' time significantly. They even barely have time to hang out at her favorite spot on the lot... "What's taking you two so long?" Ashley asked. _

_"Oh! Alex is. She's looking for her purse. She just finished packing her stuff for her flight after our celebration."_

_"Aw, okay then. Hurry up though. Vegas traffic is friggin awful. As usual," Ash said. _

_"Whoopsie! Alex' here. We'll be there in five. Miss you much, gobstopper!"_

_"Miss you more, skittles!" Ash said excitedly. _

* * *

><p>Shay gracefully walked to Ash who's comfortably standing against the driver's side of her Audi—Ash' lower legs slightly overlapping one another while she rested her back on the driver's door, arms crossed, grinning endlessly at Shay, meeting Shay's blissful gaze... Ashley looked serenely pretty with the faint wind blowing against her blond hair, making her blue eyes pop even more against the growing darkness enfolding the night right this very moment…<p>

And when they're finally together…

Ashley casually brushed her hand on Shay's cold arms and gently caressed it with a smile plastered on her face… She tucked some of Shay's lose hair behind her left ear, held Shay's waist with her other free hand and sweetly whispered to Shay's ears_, "You look crazy beautiful tonight. More than I imagined."_ And then Ash planted a long kiss just a lil bit close to Shay's ear, sending Shay shivers all over her body, ticklish even especially when Ash whispered to her… Shay's knees felt weak as she felt the warmth of Ashley's hands against her waist…

All these didn't escape Alex' watchful eyes. She couldn't help but smile at the two as if there's nobody else with them, whispering [as she would've guessed] sweet nothings to each other… Shay held on to Ashley's pinky finger out of old habit—not letting go since she first got a hold of it, Ashley whispering to Shay's ears, making her smile widely and giggle at the same time...

"Frienting much," Alex chuckled under her breath... She cleared her throat to make her presence felt—the first time was a fail. Both Shay and Ashley are still lost in each other's time and space...

Alex cleared her throat again, this time slightly louder than the first one... Both Shay and Ash looked at her with puzzled look on her faces, followed immediately with a sudden rush of blood to their cheeks…

"Uh, hey Alex," Ash said while one of her arms possessively held on to Shay's waist... Shay oblivious to the growing tension between Ash and Alex...

Shay broke the growing awkward silence when she said, "let's go? All set to have fun tonight?" And then both Ash and Alex said "yeah" in unison. Ash walked Shay to the passenger's seat—their hands still intertwined with each other. Ashley opened the door for her and buckled her up before going to the driver's seat while Alex lead her self to the back passenger seat…

Ash turned on the radio and was just glad they're playing Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer. And almost by instinct, Shay and Ashley sang out loud together while the song was being played. Alex on the other hand secretly thanked the traffic gods for clearing up the way today.

* * *

><p><em>Based on real life JustJared Jr's posted article and picture of Shay, Ashley and Lucy<em>**_…._**_http(colon)(slash)(slash)tinyurl(dot)com(slash)3qabgr2_

At Chateau Nightclub...

After a few minutes of trying to choose over a dozen deserts on the menu, Lucy finally decided which deserts she's getting… "How about we order some desserts?" Lucy asked Shay and Ashley while looking at the menu. Shay and Ashley were busy though whispering to each other, giggling from one moment to another, laughing at each other's jokes, wrapped with each other's attention… As if they have their own 'Shay and Ashley' bubble. Lucy shot them a knowing look and instead called for the waiter's attention…

After dinner… At Chateau Nightclub's dance floor…

"Where'd Shay go?" Lucy asked Ashley. Tyler was standing a few feet away from them talking to a number of people whom Lucy hasn't met or seen on set. She figured, "old friends of his, maybe…"

"Ash, where did Shay go?" Lucy repeated. She didn't notice immediately that Ashley's iPhone headset were plugged on her ears… _"No wonder she didn't hear me,"_ Lucy thought to herself. Ash met Lucy's big, brown, wondering eyes with a flicker of annoyance while she mouthed the words _"what now?" _at Lucy.

"Hey, chill, girl. I was just asking where Shay is," Lucy said. Ashley answered her with a stern shrug. Lucy frowned a little, squinted her eyes and looked for Shay at the club but with no luck. She was about to stand up when she felt a slight force on her arm stopping her from making any move. "Don't even bother. Shay's busy," Ash said coldly.

Ashley's remark and sudden change of mood made Lucy even more curious as to where Shay is. She tried to recall the sequence of events secretly in her head—photo ses, dinner, deserts, photo ses… "Darn it," Lucy mumbled under her breath. She can't seem to fit on the sequence on how she lost track of Shay.

"She's over there. That's if you're still looking for her," Ashley told Lucy. Lucy followed where Ash' head turned and instinctively bit her lower lip out of tension… While Ashley busied herself playing games on her iPhone…

"You okay, Ash?" Lucy asked as she glanced on Shay's direction… Shay is being surrounded by a number of guys at the bar… And if Lucy's correct, that would be 4-ish guys. It was a little hard to tell because of the amount of people all jammed on the dance floor, blocking her view of the bar and Shay… Scratch that, there are probably five guys if Lucy were to count the tall, model-like guy whom she noticed has been giving Shay drinks from time to time. Shay and the 'model' looked like they're enjoying their talk, making Shay laugh flirtatiously almost every time the 'model' whispers something to her ears.

"Yeah, I am. Why wouldn't I be? We're having fun aren't we?" Ashley said, unable to hide the sheer annoyance that she's feeling right now.

"I don't know… You tell me, Ash? Couple of hours ago, you and Shay were inseparable. And then now? What happened? Did you two argue again?"

"No," Ashley said firmly. Lucy took a deep breath, unsure what she can do to alleviate the situation.

Ashley jerked up from her seat when she saw the 'model' hold Shay's hands and walked away from the group of people that they were with at the bar.

"Is Shay dru—… Ash? Ashley! Where are you going?" Lucy said with a raised voice, trying her best to not let the loud music at the club drown her own voice… Too late, Ashley already disappeared from the throng of people at the club.

* * *

><p>Ash walked briskly, trying to keep up with Shay and the 'model's' pace…<p>

Ashley found the 'model' standing, leaning his back at the wall, head slightly bowed down with both of his hands on his pockets…. Ash had to admit the 'model' looks every inch like how a guy 'model' should look like… He's probably 5'10" tall, deep green eyes that compliments his chiseled face, long, wavy locks of jet black hair, some 6-pack probably hiding behind his semi-loose white shirt covered by his gray coat…

"Where is she?" Ash asked the 'model' sternly.

The 'model' shot her a puzzled look… He seemed like he doesn't really know what she's talking about. _She can't be wrong. This is the same guy that Shay walked away with._

"I mean, Shay. Where is she?"

"Wait, aren't you? Um, uh, Ashley? Ashley Benson, that is? I've heard so much about you. Shay wouldn't stop talking about you. By the way, I'm Gabriel," the 'model' said with his hard English accent. "I used to model back in Barcelona. That's where I met Shay," Gabriel said with a playful grin on his face. _That explains the accent, Ashley thought._ Ash tried her best to keep her cool despite of what the 'model' seem to be implying when he said 'that's where I met Shay.'

Gabriel extended his right hand to Ashley, waiting for her to shake hands with him but Ash only looked at his extended hand and instead met Gabriel's green eyes with a glimmer of annoyance and frustration in her eyes… Gabriel took a hint and instead used the same extended arm to brush his jet black hair.

"She's inside [the powder room]," Gabriel said, breaking the akward silence between the two of them.

Ashley walked to the powder room not even bothering to say thanks to the bewildered Gabriel…

-ooo-

"Assshhleeey!" Shay beamed while she tried to walk straight to Ashley.

"You're drunk, Shay. Let's go home," Ash said while she held Shay's wobbly arms.

"Did you… meet Gabriel? Isn't he hot? He'sss hoot. Like hot, reaallllyyy hooot! You know what I mean? I… met hiimm… in... Barce… Lonaaa... And don't you just loooveee his hair and eyes?" Shay said with her slurred words, ignoring Ashley's last remark.

"Yeah, I did. Your point?" Ash exclaimed. She took a deep breath, held on to Shay's arms, lightly forcing her to stand up straight and walk out of the powder room. But Shay would always stubbornly wiggle her arm away from Ashley's grip. And when she did, she sat on the couch set inside the powder room… Shay lumped her body on the couch, body feeling heavy from all the drinks that she's had, her throat dry and all thirsty for water… _What did I have again? Vodka? Tequila? Margarita?_ Her head throbbed with more headache as she tried to recall the drinks that she had for the night.

Shay felt like the ceiling would fall on her anytime… Feeling woozy from all the drinks that she's had, she tried to get up only to feel her body even heavier than before. Ash caught her head before Shay hits any hard object with her head…

"Shay… Babe…. Please…. Let's go home," Ash pleaded as she tried to fight her tears back… While she busied herself, trying to remove Shay's shoes off of her feet. Shay laid on the couch, looking almost lifeless… Her left hand swayed freely off of the side of the couch. Once Ash was done removing Shay's shoes, she went to Shay's side and lightly tapped Shay's warm, flushed cheeks…

"Shay… Wake up… We gotta go home… Please…" Ash begged while her tears blurred her sight, as she held Shay's warm hands…

Hearing Ashley's pleading voice… Shay struggled to open her heavy eyelids… She tried to get up… She tried to say something to Ash… But her mouth was dry… Her words felt like a huge lump stuck in her throat…

"Are you mad at me?" Shay asked weakly, eyes too heavy to open...

"No," Ash replied.

"You're mad at me, are you? Are you mad at me? Ash?" Shay said while she tried to manage to sit on the couch while her other free hand is pressed against her forehead…

"I said, no. N-O. Let's just go home okay? You're drunk. Wait here. I'll just tell your _friend_, Gabriel, that you're going home with me," Ash said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

* * *

><p><em>Ashley and Gabriel outside the powder room…<em>

"You can go, Gabriel. I can take it from here," Ash said as she dismissed him…

"You sure? I promised Shay I'd drive her home. She said she's going with me," Gabriel insisted with a firm voice, refusing to back down from Ashley.

"Look, you can see Shay's drunk already. I said I 'can' take it from here," Ash said as she shot him a fiery look.

Had this been a staring game between her and Gabriel, Ash wouldn't know if she's winning already… Worst, if she would even win. _What is this that she's feeling right now? Insecurity? Jealousy? Annoyance?_ She can't really tell. She cursed her mixed emotions and wanted to kick herself for letting her be vulnerable again around Shay after everything that's happened between the two of them almost two months ago…_ "But she doesn't know that I know,"_ Ash debated with herself.

Ash snapped back to reality and asked Gabriel to leave… Gabriel raised both of his arms in mock surrender, and said "if you say so. You do realize she was actually willing to leave the club with me" with a smirk on his face. He gestured to walk to the girls' powder room to bid Shay goodbye but Ash instinctively blocked the door and hand-signaled him to walk away...

"I said I can take it from here," Ash said coldly.

* * *

><p><strong>FYI:<strong>

- Shay used to be on a Blackberry but Ash and the rest of the liars are on an iPhone that made her switch to one prolly this year, I think? At least based on Shayley's 1st UStream at NYC. Not so sure when exactly.

- Shayley both adore Gobstopper and Skittles. Remember Shayley's Ustream when they received free Skittles? Yip! That's it! And Ashley once tweeted Shay that she loves her more than Gobstoppers : ) And what does Shay love? Skittles, of course!

_Ash' real life tweet… _

ashbenzo: I love you more than sausage links

24 April Favorite Retweet Reply

ashbenzo: I love you more than gobstoppers

24 April Favorite Retweet Reply

Link: http(colon)(slash)(slash)bit(dot)ly(slash)syaRHx

- Shay's been to Barcelona before, based on her technically solo UStream last October '11

- Borrowed these lines from 2 Broke Girls:

"Youuu look like a night light, you're soo blond!"

"When did get heat so hot?"

"That's weird. You didn't react."

"I did. I rolled my eyes."

Have you guys seen 2 Broke Girls? No? Seriously? Aww! Watch it! It's pretty hilarious! Promise!

**PS: **

Next chapter will be the last installment for our _Drunk Shay_.

Did you guys like this chapter and the previous one though?

Thoughts so far? Suggestions? Anyone?


	13. Chapter 12

**Sooo, here's the last installment for our _Drunk Shay_… It's longer than I anticipated. Whew! Did you guys like the previous two chapters? No? Yes? Do tell! **

**Thank you again for the alerts and reviews! Much, much appreciate it! Here you go kids! : )**

* * *

><p><strong>Flashback… Part 3<strong>

**Chapter 12**

When Ashley went back to the powder room, she saw Shay talking on the phone…

"_Heyyya, Troiaaabeansss!" Shay said while she giggled. "Do you wanna know what I'm thinking?" _

"_Are you drunk?" Troian asked, dismissing Shay's higher-than-normal-pitch greetings. _

"_Noooo! Are yooouu?" Shay asked playfully._

"_Heyyy, you didn't answer me, Troiaaa. Do yooouuu wanna know whaaat I'm thinking?" Shay insisted._

"_I'm not sure if I want to, Shay," Troian said out of the building frustration that she's feeling right now. _

"_I dun careee, So heeeree goees, I'm thinking of you... becaaauuuse... I wanna knooow what you're thinkiiiing!" Shay cooed in between her giddy laughs._

"_Where's the funny part there? Hand the phone to Ashley"_

"_Ashley who? Who? Whhaaa?"_

"_Ashley Victoria Benson, who else?" Troian said as she slightly raised her voice, trying to stress to Shay that she must give the phone to Ashley._

"_Oooh! My Ashley! Hanggg onnn!" _

"Who was that?" Ashley asked.

"Huh? Oh! Spencerrr, herrreee! Talk to herrr!" Shay said while she handed her Blackberry to Ash.

"Spencer, who?" Ash grabbed her Blackberry, and frowned when she saw there's nobody on the other line anymore. She heaved a sigh of satisfaction when she checked Shay's call log list and saw that she actually spoke to Troian. She sent Troian a text message saying _"Sorry about that. Shay's drunk. –Ashley"_ Ash received a reply immediately from Troian. It said, _"Yeah. I can tell. It's okay. I understand… Just take care of her. Let me know if you guys got home safely… 'Cus you better be. Counting you on that :)_ " Ashley slid Shay's Blackberry on her purse…

Shay lumped her intoxicated body on the couch and savored the comfort that it offered. Ash instinctively held on to Shay's elbow, trying to avoid Shay from hitting any hard object with her head. Ash lightly tapped Shay's warm, flustered cheeks and kept whispering, "Shay, hon, please… Wake up. Let's go home" while she tried to fight the tears that are starting to well on her eyes. Without success, she removed Shay's shoes off of her feet and tried to wake her up again... After a few moments, Shay tried to stubbornly stand up from the couch and walked her way to the mirror...

Ash found Shay trying to maintain her balance while she tried to put her lipstick on in front of the mirror… Ash walked near Shay and asked her to hand the lipstick to her… "Here, let me help you on that…"

"Nooooo, I caann dooo thiisss," Shay insisted, words slurred, eyes half-open already while she held on tight to her lipstick.

"I said, hand it to me," Ash insisted firmly. She let out a deep breath of frustration and said, "Don't be a stubborn mule, Shannon."

"Fiinneee, but I'm bettiinngg I caann ddoo itt betterr than you wouuldd," Shay said, as she mocked a pout, crossed her arms across her chest and stomped her bare feet against the floor's soft carpet as if she's about to have a tantrum.

"If you say so," Ash said while she struggled to grab Shay's lipstick off of her hand.

Ashley took a couple of deep breaths while she cupped Shay's face and tried her best to put on the lipstick on Shay's inviting, full lips… For a few moments, Ash stared at Shay's beautiful face... She can't believe herself that Shay still looks her usual gorgeous self despite of being heavily intoxicated. Ash could also smell the faint hint of liquor on Shay's mouth... Shay's warm breaths brushed against her face while she carefully put on the lipstick on Shay's lips… Ash almost felt weak just being this close to Shay... Shay on the other hand leaned one of her arms near the sink for support, trying to stand straight on her feet… "There… Done." Ash said in a low voice while she gestured Shay with her hand to get her lipstick back. "Now, let's go home."

Shay wanted to protest... She didn't want to go home yet. She tried to fight back the sleepiness and heavy feeling that's been driving her crazy all night… Her eyes are about to fall off but she tried her best to fight it back… She meant to tell Ash something… The liquor courage that she was expecting to have ended up as an epic failed attempt to have one… Shay instinctively tapped her forehead and wanted to secretly kick herself for drinking more than she could handle. _"Oh, darn."_

Ashley helped Shay walk her way to the couch while her other free hand tried to call Lucy and Tyler alternately… "What the? Crap! No friggin signal!" Shay sat on the couch, her head buried on her warm palms… She glanced at Ash and teased her, "Babe! Youuu looook like a night light, you're sooo blooond!"

A small smile curved on Ashley's lips but it didn't change the fact that she's still annoyed at Shay for letting herself get drunk, worst for agreeing to even go home with a guy that she barely knows. Ah, scratch that… With a guy that Shay knows, someone that she's not even aware of. Ash frowned at the thought of Shay never mentioning Gabriel to her… _"The hell,"_ Ash cursed under her breath.

"Ash? Babe? When did get heat so hot?" Shay said with her drooping eyes while she fanned herself with her right hand… "That's weird, Ash. You didn't react."

"I did. I rolled my eyes," Ash snapped back with sarcasm at Shay while her hands were busy on her iPhone trying to get a hold of both Lucy and Tyler. She sent them both the same text message_, "Go here at the girl's powder room. Need help. ASAP. Shay's drunk." _

Ash, feeling exhausted, stood up and held on to Shay's arms… Shay tried to stubbornly wiggle her way out again and insisted she can walk on her own…

"You know what? FINE! Go! Walk on your own! I'll just wait for you in the car! Dammit, Shay!" Ash snapped at Shay, close to losing all the patience left on her…

"Fiineeeee! Finnne!" Shay shot back at Ash with her eyebrows furrowed on her forehead. "Go! Leave! You shouldn't have followed me here anyway!" Shay shouted back as tears threaten to fill her eyes….

"FINEEE!" Ashley stormed out of the girl's powder room and walked hurriedly to the surprisingly empty hallway leading to the parking lot… She willed herself to walk away… _Really _walk away this time… She tried to fight back the tears that she's been struggling to keep at bay since Shay walked away from her after dinner… She refuses to shed another tear again… She has to… She _had_ to. _This_ has to stop…

Shay on the other hand leaned on the wall for support while walking, trying to keep up with Ashley's pace… She can't tell exactly what she feels right now... _Frustration? Annoyance? Or just plain drunk? _She had her thumbs whisk away the tears that are slowly building on her eyes…

"Ash," Shay said weakly, still feeling dizzy from all the liquor that she's had for the night… She paused for a moment, covered her mouth with her warm palm and found herself sobbing while leaning for support on the wall, wishing Ash heard her… Wishing Ash would _listen_ to her. Shay struggled to stand up… She tried her best to maintain her balance… She tried to walk towards Ashley's directions… Shay shouted, with whatever strength was left of her, "Ash! Ashley Victoria Benson! You can't leave me here!"

Ash turned her head at Shay's direction, eyes red-shot from crying, and said, "Why not? You're enjoying the night right? So go! Go back to your friends and Gabriel! I'm fkucin_ tired_, Shay. I'll be in my car," Ash said firmly, after which she wiped the tears off of her cheeks with her trembling hands…

"But I wanna be with you…" Shay said feebly, her mouth feeling dry already from all the liquor intake that she's had…

Shay was taken aback when Ash went back a few steps and met her eyes, tears uncontrollably falling off her cheeks… "No. You don't," Ash said while she almost choked on her words.

Shay's heart clenched when she heard Ash utter these words... She can't tell if she was just imagining things… If all the liquor that she had is just tricking her… But the look on Ashley's face… There was… She... looked like she's gonna crumble anytime… There was so much hurt and feeling of betrayal resting in her eyes... She wanted to wrap Ash with an embrace, tell her how sorry she is… _For everything. _Shay asked herself, _"but how?" _Shay's heart shattered into pieces realizing that she caused Ash this much pain... _If only... _

And before Shay knows it, Ash is already walking away from her… again.

"Ash! Please! Ashley Victoria! Ash! Hon! Don't walk away from me!"

Ash stopped from walking and met Shay's pleading eyes, "Oh yeah? Watch me!"

"Ash! Pleaaasee!" Shay begged in between her sobs... "Assshhh!"

"Dammit! What now, Shannon?" Ash said as she raised her tone of voice.

_Silence._

"Because I love you!" Shay finally said with whatever strength was left of her, with whatever courage is left of her... _There. I said it._

And before Ashley could make any move or react to what Shay just said… Before her mind could process what Shay just confessed… Before her heart could allow her to feel any more pain from Shay... She found Shay kneeling on the floor throwing up… And just in the nick of time, Tyler and Lucy rushed to their side…

"Oh my go-, what happened?" Lucy asked in disbelief while looking at Shay whose hair is already messed up, barefooted, head bowed down on the floor, both hands leaning on the floor, unable to stop herself from vomiting her guts out… Tyler on the other hand rushed to Ashley's side, took Shay's shoes off of Ashley's hand and handed it over to Lucy who's still shocked over the sight unfolding before her… She's never seen Shay so drunk 'til now. She wasn't even aware that Shay drinks.

Ash snapped from her thoughts immediately and shouted at Lucy and Tyler, "What the hell? I've been trying to reach you two for ages! Look what happened!" Both shot her an apologetic look and explained to her that their mobile phones' signals were jammed on some areas of the club; they only received her text message a few minutes ago.

"Did you guys see Alex and Frankie? Where'd they go?" Ash asked but neither one of them knows where Alex and Frankie are. She slipped Shay's Blackberry out from her purse and checked on her text messages… She saw one from DJ Alex telling Shay she had to go out with Frankie for an urgent meeting with Club Paladin's managers and will try to go back as soon as it's over. Ash sent Alex a reply and told her, "Shay got drunk. She's coming home with me. Take care –Ashley"

Tyler took out his hankie and handed it over to Ash who's also kneeling down now… Holding Shay's hair up so as not to catch any more streaks of her vomit…

"What are we gonna do now?" Lucy said.

Ash shot her a "duh" look on her face but Lucy let it slip away, especially with Shay's situation right now… She understands where Ashley's pent up annoyance and frustrations are coming from…

"Should we bring her back to the powder room to wash her up? Or should we bring her to your car?" Tyler asked, breaking the silence among them four.

Ash took a deep breath and for a moment thought of what she should do with Shay… She thought of going back to the powder room but it's already bad enough that some people saw her and Shay come out of it arguing and shouting at each other… She also worried about the paparazzi's finding out about Shay getting drunk… She worried about the pictures that may come out on the internet and tumblr… "Fkcu! Fcku!" Ash cursed under her breath. "Let's just bring her to my car. I'll bring her home."

Tyler held on to Shay's waist, pulled one of her arms and dropped it on his shoulder, nudged Shay to try to walk straight with them… But Shay's drunken weight isn't helping… Shay can barely get up, much more walk from the hallway to Ash' car at the parking lot…

"I'll just carry her," Tyler said, reassuring Ash it's okay. All three started walking to the parking lot with Tyler carrying Shay in his arms… Shay looked sound asleep, exhausted even. Ash had to admit Shay looked serenely pretty despite of what just happened.

Tyler couldn't help but stare at Shay's beautiful face. He pursed his lips and controlled himself from staring too much at her… He contented himself stealing glances at Shay while walking… He didn't want to stir any trouble with Ash… Feeling guilty for staring, Tyler focused on walking and held Shay tighter closer to his chest…

His arms felt a little sore after he carried Shay to Ash' car. He's not complaining though… He instinctively fixed Shay's hair to clear some view off of her face and was welcomed with the stillness of Shay, looking like a sleeping angel… Did his mind played tricks on him? Did Shay actually smile a little when he whispered her name? "Why are you gorgeous?" Tyler sighed in awe of Shay, too late for him to realize that he spoke out loud his thoughts…

Ash snapped her fingers in front of Tyler's as if reminding him to snap back to reality. Lucy couldn't help but chuckle at Tyler's blunder…

Tyler, embarrassed -cleared his throat, straightened himself up and told Ash and Lucy that he's leaving… Lucy waved him goodbye while Ash just watched him vanish from her sight.

"How about you? Are you gonna be okay here? Waiting?"

"Yeah, of course. My boyfriend's gonna pick me up in I think ten or fifteen minutes. He'll be here soon enough. And you? Will you and Shay be okay?" Lucy asked Ash with utmost concern in her voice.

"Yeah, I guess… I hope so." Ash replied. "See you tomorrow on set?"

"Yep, call me as soon as you two are home, will ya?" Lucy said.

"I will…. Luce?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks… I'm sorry I lashed out on you awhile ago."

"It's okay. I understand where you're coming from," Lucy replied rationally.

"I know… But still… Thank you. I, uh, I appreciate it… You know what I mean," Ash said with a hint of hesitation.

"I do," Lucy replied reassuringly. "Go… You might get stuck in Vegas traffic… You wouldn't want that, would ya?"

Both girls shared a laugh, somewhat grateful all the tension has eased up a little… Lucy bid Ash with a short embrace and watched Ash' Audi vanish from her sight…

* * *

><p><em>At Ashley's room…<em>

"Shay, c'mon... Just a few more steps to my bed, please…" Ash pleaded to Shay while she held on to Shay's waist, unsure if Shay could even hear her clearly… Ash is already feeling exhausted but she refused to rest not until Shay reaches her bed… _"Long, frustrating night," _Ash thought to herself.

Shay can barely walk, her body still feeling heavy from all the drinks that she's had… With eyes half closed, Shay struggled to walk her way to Ashley's bed... Ash situated Shay to sleep near the side of the bed… For a few moments, Ash stared at the sleeping Shay…

"Because I love you." Shay's last four words before she passed out. Four heavy words that kept echoing on her head… As if on repeat, as if pushing her _to believe_… _To believe Shay…._ Ash tried to push away the the echoes of Shay's voice in her head… She struggled to fight back the tears that are threatening to fall again. No, she can't let herself be _this vulnerable_ again. She can't let Shay... She just can't... For her sake, for her sanity, for her heart. Ash lightly shook her head to drive the nagging thoughts away. She grabbed her blanket and covered Shay's warm body up to her chest, making sure she's not cold… _"Darn it, Shay."_

She grabbed her iPhone and dialed Lucy's number… "Hey there, we're home."

"That's great! How's Shay though?"

"I think she's sleeping off the drinks that she's had for the night…"

"And? I feel like there's an 'and' after what you just said," Lucy said meaningfully.

"Shay said…" Ash paused for a moment and hesitated on telling Lucy about what happened… Not that she doesn't trust her. But maybe, just maybe because she can't trust herself either if she heard everything right… If she understood it _right._

"Uhuh?" Lucy asked, snapping Ash off of her thoughts.

"She uh, she said… She…. Um, she said loves me… There," Ash said in a low voice, as if not wanting Shay to hear her.

"She said what? Wait, wait… Did she say I love you like I love you-_I love you_? Or _I love you_ because I-just-had-a-zillion-vodka-in-my-head? Or I love you because you're my best friend? Which is which?"

"I… I don't know…. Luce, stop freaking out… You're making me freak out more than I should have," Ash complained.

Lucy retorted, "I'm not freaking out, am I? I'm not, I swear. You're freaking out. You are, aren't you?"

Ash can just imagine the puzzled look all over Lucy's face. "Um, Luce, you gotta chill? You're seriously freaking out more than I do…"

"Wait, this isn't the first time that she said that to you, right? Now, remind me why we're obsessing over what she said again?"

"Uhm, yeah. That wasn't the first time… But tonight was… I dunno… Tonight's different, I wanna say?" Ash mumbled through her words while looking at Shay who seems sound asleep.

Shay murmured, "Ashhhh? Wherree aree yoouu?" While she extended her available arm, as if waiting for Ash to grab it…

"Luce, hang on…. I gotta go. I'll give you a call tomorrow, okay?"

"Aw, okay. Wait, wait! Are you gonna be okay? Like okay-_okay_?" Lucy asked with full of concern on her voice.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" But the look on Ash' face betrayed all the words that she just said. She can't help but feel grateful because somehow Lucy can't see her right now.

"Alrighty, take care of Shay then. Try to have some sleep. You need it for tomorrow. Night!"

"Good night, Luce!"

Ash held on to Shay's extended arm and instead fixated it against Shay's chest… A tear fell on Shay's forehead as she placed a light kiss on Shay's temple…

She was supposed to leave the room to make some coffee for her throbbing headache but Shay kept calling her name, asking her not to leave… She can't tell for sure if Shay's really awake or just talking in her sleep like she often does… Whichever reason it is, Ash ate her pride and laid beside Shay… And as if Shay sensed that Ash is beside her, she changed her lying position and turned to Ash' side…

Ash trailed off suddenly as memories at the Club flashed through her mind…

_Maybe Shay won't remember how close our lips were when our friends were taking our pictures... _

_Like how she kept asking for my attention while some boy was flirting with me... _

_Like how she fixed the strands of my hair falling off of my face, as if she's seeing my face for the first time every time she did it... _

_Shay prolly won't remember how jealous I was because she was out there dancing with a number of guys that she barely knew... _

_How I can't stop watching her, seeing her at the corner of my eye while she enjoyed talking with a group of guys at the bar... _

_She prolly won't even remember how I stormed the other room just to snatch her from the boys who were eyeing her since we set foot at the bar... _

_Maybe Shay won't remember how tight she held my hand while she was trying to walk straight... _

_And… I bet she doesn't remember how I protectively one-arm hugged her, just so her head won't fall off while she's trying to sleep off the Vodka and Tequila that she's been drinking..._

_Like how the faint smell of her shampoo and perfume almost seemed like a familiar smell that I'd want to get used to… _

_Or how she longingly looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes fixated on mine, as if wanting to kiss me right there and then…_

_Shay was so drunk. I'm certain she won't remember these things..._

_But... _

_I will. _

Ashley snuggled closer to Shay and pressed her forehead against her…

She closed her tired eyes and willed her tears away…

And then she whispered, _"I love you too… _Too much_,"_ as she laced her hands with Shay's and kissed the back of it.

* * *

><p><strong>FYI:<strong>

Soo, in real life... Tyler was doing his Ustream [i think last month or back in September], and if I remember it right, he either sent a text message to Shay while he was live on UStream or he received a text from her... After which, he said something like, "why is she (Shay) so gorgeous?"

I just heard Ashley call Troian, "Troia-beans", in one of her old twitvids.

Ooh, dig up Google Images and Tumblr... And I'm pretty sure you'd find Shayley's "too close" pictures with Frankie during her birthday celebration. : )

Shay replied to a fan tweet before that sometimes she talks in her sleep. I've to find that tweet though. Amsureee.

**PS:**

I gotta admit, this chapter was a little emotionally exhausting to write… For some reasons. Dang, I guess blame it for being a 3-part story. : )

And oh! Shameless plug, check out my other fic "**2 am**". Pairing? Emily Fields and Quinn Fabray. Yes, ya read it right. : )

By the way, reviews are always a good form of validation that the author is at least doing it 'right'. _Am i? _What did you guys think of this chapter eh? How about 'Drunk Shay' in general?

Because I'm thinking of taking a short break on this fic... x_x

To L.J and the rest of my awesome readers, thank you sooo much for the sweet words. I'm so sorry... I usually get home just to sleep. But I love you all! So I'll definitely try to update as much as I can. Wouldnt want to let you guys down.


	14. Chapter 13

**I'm so, so, sorry it took a looong time for me to update. I've been busy and exhausted with work. I only go home to sleep. Yay! =( **

**I still get to read the tweets of Shay and the rest but I haven't incorporated them yet… Maybe on the next chapters. Anyhoo, I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thank you again for taking time to read! Lotsa love! =***

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

**Flashback… Part 4 **(Continuation of _Drunk Shay_)

Shay and Ash walked out of Ash' room, hands laced with each other's, Ash leading the walk. Shay followed her with a throbbing headache from all the drinks that she's had last night. She instinctively touched her temples as if trying to soothe it. She squeezed Ash' hand lightly as if gesturing her to go to the kitchen instead. Shay doesn't have the appetite to eat yet but she figured Ash could be hungry so she thought of making her breakfast as her token of gratitude… _Because that's what best friends do for each other, right? _

"Do you… Do you remember anything?" Ash asked with a low voice, unsure if she should bring up what happened last night. _"Because I love you."_ These words rang on her head, as if on repeat, replaying Shay's voice on her head over and over… Again. She didn't get much sleep trying to push away the image and voice of Shay while she said it… _"Because I love you."_ Ash slightly shook her head to snap out of those nagging thoughts. _What the hell did she mean by that?_ "Stop obsessing! Stop!" Ash cursed to herself.

"I mean what happened last night?" Ash asked.

Shay tied her disheveled hair into a lose bun letting a few strands of her hair fall freely on her face, "I don't know? Last thing I remember Gabriel asked me to go out with him to get some fresh air."

_Lie. _

_I remember most… I remember wanting to ki-… No, no. Not that. Not the ki-. Oh, darn. I can't even say the word. Nobody gets to go around ki- their best friends. Being drunk shouldn't be the perfect excuse… But it can be my excuse, right? Others have used it, maybe I can too?_

"Yeah, right. Fresh air. Should've taken the air out of him when I had the chance," Ashley mumbled. She cleared her throat and continued, "you mean get 'you'."

"Huh? What did you say?" Shay asked in confusion.

"Nothing."

Shay slightly tilted her head and darted her eyes on the floor. She tucked some of her lose strand hair and asked, "Nothing-_nothing_? Did anything happen last night, Ash? Anything I should remember?" Shay said as she glanced back to meet Ash wondering blue eyes.

"Nope," Ash said in a matter-of-fact-tone. "Go finish making my breakfast because I'm starving."

"Um, Ash…" Shay tried to push the topic. She wanted to remember. She wanted to know what happened. She wanted some answers. Instead she found herself settling in asking Ash, "who changed my clothes last night? Did I? I mean I don't—"

"I did," Ash replied immediately and shot her a look as if telling her why is she even asking.

It took a few moments before what Ash said finally sunk in to Shay, "Oh… Oooohhhh!" Shay immediately blushed at the image of Ash changing her clothes. She secretly crossed her fingers, and hoped she didn't look that much of a mess, as she would've imagined.

Ash curled her knees across her chest, rested her head on it and said, "Skittles, you threw up, remember?" Ash looked adorably cute on her sitting position with her lose black tee shirt and pajama on. Shay on the other hand is wearing Ash' lose white Lakers tee shirt, hugging comfortably every curve of her upper half body, along with Ash' semi-lose sweatpants.

"I… I don't rem-. I'm sorry?" Shay meant it. _She is sorry._ She meant to talk to Ash about some _things_. She meant to come clean. But the liquor courage that she hoped to have last night ended up as an epic failed attempt to have one. Shay figured she should've retorted to her 'Plan A: Talk to Ash. Sober'.

Ash embraced her knees and paused for a moment, "hang on. You owe me."

"Owe you what?" Shay asked innocently.

"Um, hello? I drove you home. I even changed your clothes."

"But you always do that for me," Shay said sweetly.

"Last night was different," Ash tried to dismiss her heart melting into Shay's sweetness. _Damn, Shay. Don't use your charm on me. _

Shay nibbled on her lower lip and found her eyes staring at the floor again before anxiously meeting Ash meaningful look on her, "like good-different? Or bad-different?"

"Like I-don't-know-different," Ash retorted with a slight casual shrug.

"Innnteerressting," Shay said while she hummed through it.

Ash slightly frowned and asked, "what is?"

"Nothing," Shay teased with excitement.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"I'm not telling. And I'm not smiling!" Shay said defensively although her smile reaching her eyes was a plain giveaway already.

"Oh, really? You aren't?" Ash cooed while she slowly walked to Shay who busied herself whipping the eggs for Ash' breakfast.

"Sunny side up? Or egg's benedict?" Shay said as she deliberately tried to change the topic.

Ash laced her right hand on Shay's and nudged her to stop doing whatever she's doing and slowly walked her against the kitchen's wall, pinning Shay's tall, gorgeous frame against it. She let out a mischievous grin, showing off her dimple, making her blue eyes pop even more with her wide smile, while Shay awkwardly took a few unsure steps backwards. Shay tried to wiggle her way out but Ash already have her left hand against the wall too, drawing them closer to each other…

"You're not going anywhere, babe. Not until you tell me what that nothing is."

"I was just bluffing. There's really nothing to it. Promise!"

"Now you're bluffing," Ash said with a grin on her face.

Ash moved a few inches closer to Shay… She swore she could smell the minty flavor of Shay's favorite toothpaste. Or was it her lip gloss that she's smelling? Whichever it is, she loved it. She wanted more of it. She savored it more than the smell of the morning breakfast that Shay was preparing. She wants to remember that smell. She wants to get used to it… To get more of this non-existent, imaginary personal space between them.

Shay tried to make a few steps backwards, but how? There weren't any more space for her to move to. Ash has her pinned against the wall with both of her arms firmly extended against it. She tried to lift one of her arms but even that is impossible. She tried to avoid Ash' grin but how can she? She loved that smile too much to not let herself drown from it. Shay let out a nervous smile and tried to make a move but who was she kidding? With this little space, scratch that, with literally and figuratively a few inches worth of space between them… Did she really want to be let go of? Shay swore the more Ash comes closer to her, the more her heart threatens to leap out of her chest anytime. She prayed and hoped that Ash won't be able to tell how their proximity made her feel nervous… Excited… _Excited? Really?_

Ash' beamed while her hands slowly crept to Shay's and found it filling the spaces between Shay's apprehensive hands… _'Warm hands, that's good right?' _Ash thought to herself.

"So, are you gonna tell me or not?" Ash said with a coy smile, almost whispering to Shay's ears.

Shay closed her eyes for a moment and tried to catch a few breaths. She opened her eyes only to be welcomed by Ash smiling at her, looking crazy pretty with her messy morning hair. Her eyes found the floor and tried her best to avoid Ash' gaze again. Not that she didn't like Ash looking at her intimately… _Intimately, what? No, no. I mean intensely._ But their close proximity against each other is sending her butterflies… And if they'd stay longer than this, she might… just… give… in… and ki-. _Why can't I say the damn word?_

Ash laughed on the inside knowing that Shay is over thinking again. She can tell by the small crease of lines forming on Shay's forehead while her eyes were closed. And whatever is going on with that pretty head of hers, Ash couldn't really care less. What's far more important is her… She and Shay… This, this kind of closeness. _So, fuckin, close._

Shay tried to focus on the sight of the eggs that she was trying to make. _Breakfast! Breakfast! I almost forgot about breakfast._ How long can she last this kind of closeness with Ash? This kind of intimacy? '_Wait, wait. We're the best of friends. Oh no, don't play the 'best friend' card again', Shay debated to herself._

"No, I um, I'm… I'm starving. I've to make our breakfast. I mean your breakfast," Shay retorted as she stuttered through her words.

"Hey, Ash!"

Both girls looked at the direction where the voice came from.

_"Great timing,"_ Ash cursed under her breath. Shay shot Ryan a nervous look. She wasn't sure if she was more anxious on Ryan reading more into the kind of position he caught them into or if she was more scared to the slow realization that came to her while Ash pinned her against the wall. _Could she be in love with Ash? Like in love-in love? '.._

"What now, Ryan? Ever heard of knocking?" Ash snarled while she took a few steps backwards, arms still leaning against the wall.

_'No. Don't move, Ash,'_ Shay silently pleaded.

"Nothing, I uh, well I'm gonna go out with the boys. Thought you might wanna come. Plus the door was open. Sorry, Ashley. Hi, Shay!" Ryan said while he nervously scratched the back of his head, more as an anxious reaction than that of a habit.

Shay took this opportunity to slip out of the imaginary wall that Ash built around her. She found her feet storming back to Ash' room. Back to the place that she's familiar with. Back to the place where she hoped she could find some answers. But to what questions? That she can't tell for sure either.

* * *

><p><strong>Back to present (cont. of Chapter 9)…<strong>

"Ash? Ashley? Baby?"

Ash shot Ryan a confused look and mouthed the words 'why?' with her iPhone headset plugged to both of her ears.

"I was asking if you wanted to drink with me or with the boys?"

"Why would I want that?" Ash snapped, still confused as to where their talk is going.

"We're in a liquor section. I just thought you wanted to drink," Ryan said casually.

Ash fake-gasped and tried her best to hide the fact that she didn't realize immediately where they are. She got lost in Shay's memories… Again.

"I knew that. No, we're not drinking. I was, uh, just checking on 'em." Ash excused.

"Let's go home? Are you sure you got everything you need already?" Ryan asked while looking at the two grocery carts that he's pushing. Both are full of assorted foods and stuff for Olly.

"Yeah," Ash said.

"I don't think these would all fit in your fridge," Ryan said amusedly.

"They're not for me," Ash said in a matter-of-fact-tone.

"Ohhh," Ryan replied meaningfully, while he watched Ash walk a few more steps ahead of him. Ryan heaved a sigh of frustration and followed Ash.

-ooo-

Mrs. Benson is busy preparing her weekend lunch for her family. She hasn't spent time with them in a while. Blame it on the busy and conflicting schedules of Ash and her sister, Shaylene. She was grateful still for getting the chance to see her girls again with her husband. It was times like these she'd imagine herself and her girls spending the weekend at Laguna Beach while she and her husband would sip on their favorite wine and munch on their favorite foods. _Her girls have grown…_ They have actually grown, as if a slow realization came to her.

She got a text message from Ash telling her she's running late and that she's just doing some groceries with Ryan. "Bless that boy," Mrs. Benson muttered while she whipped on the salad dressing that she's been working on. Her thoughts were interrupted by a couple of knocks on the living room's door. She frowned a little at the knock. She wasn't expecting her family to arrive in at least an hour. "Who could it be?" She wondered to herself.

Mrs. Benson wiped her hands clean and removed the pink apron hanging loose on her neck. It took a good 2 minutes for her to reach her living room coming from their backyard garden. She picked up a few toys of Olly along the way and smiled at the thought of her grandpuppy.

Upon reaching the living room, Mrs. Benson instantly lit up when she saw the person standing across her.

"You didn't have to knock, silly," Mrs. Benson said with a huge smile plastered on her face while she extended both of her hands for a hug.

"I just wanted to see the surprised look on my wife's face when she sees me. Did you miss me honey?" Mr. Benson said in his usual calm tone while he wrapped his arm on Mrs. Benson's waist and placed a quick peck on Mrs. Benson's cheek.

"Of course, I did. Everyday," Mrs. Benson beamed. "The girls are coming in less than an hour. Are you hungry? I'm almost done preparing our lunch."

"It's okay honey. I'll just watch some tv show here. Is Ashley's show on?" Mr. Benson asked.

"Nope, at least not yet. And honey the show is Pretty Little Liars," Mrs. Benson chuckled.

"I knew that," Mr. Benson excused. "I just get tongue-tied whenever I say it. These kids. They have this crazy show titles. I can barely remember all their names," Mr. Benson said while he let out a hearty laugh.

-ooo-

"Mom? Dad?" Ash and Shaylene said in unison.

"At the garden, sweethearts," Mrs. Benson replied.

Shaylene and Ash both kissed their parents on their cheeks. Mr. & Mrs. Benson welcomed them both with a tight hug sending the "I missed you so much" message. The Benson family shared a hearty laugh teasing each other about their schedules, how their week went, how Mr. Benson keeps on forgetting Ash' tv shows' titles…

"How are you and Shay, by the way?" Mr. Benson asked out of nowhere.

Ash almost froze when she heard her dad ask about Shay. It felt like a pale of cold water was dumped on her body. Mrs. Benson met her eyes with a concerned look… Shaylene and Mr. Benson obviously oblivious of the on and off bickering that Ash and Shay have been having these past few weeks.

"Mom, can you pass the salad, please?" Shaylene asked, breaking the awkward silence that filled the Benson's garden.

"What did I say?" Mr. Benson asked in confusion, sensing the growing tension filling the air. "Baby, is everything alright with you and Shay?"

Mrs. Benson squeezed Ash hand lightly to get her attention. "Yeah, sure. Of course, dad. Why, uh… Why wouldn't it be?" Ash mumbled.

"I don't know, baby. You tell me? I haven't seen Shay around in weeks. You know she's my favorite daughter."

Shaylene cleared her throat prompting Mr. Benson to say, "I mean, my other favorite daughter aside from you two," followed with a chuckle.

Mrs. Benson stood and took the salad on her hand and brought it to Shaylene. Everybody's attention focused on the uneasy Ash, head slightly lowered, hands busy playing with her food. Ash remained cushioned on her seat and secretly pleaded for her mom to say something… _Mom, anything!_

"Why are you always running?" Mrs. Benson said, finally breaking the awkward silence.

"You know I don't like jogging," Ash finally said. Mr. Benson and Shaylene couldn't help but try to pick up on the apparent secret language that Ash and Mrs. Benson are sharing.

"Baby, you know that's not what I meant," Mrs. Benson said.

"Then what is?" Ash said in an almost-whisper.

"I mean, it seems like…" Mrs. Benson debated with herself if she should say it. But she figured… If nobody's going to confront Ash with her situation with Shay… With how she's handling it… Then who would? She defended herself by convincing herself that it's what moms do… Show to their kids a different perspective of their situation. And that's exactly what she's trying to do now.

Mrs. Benson continued, "Don't get me wrong, sweetie. I mean… I, I like RyRy. We've grown to like him." Shaylene and Mr. Benson both nodded in agreement while they tried to finish their food. "But you know how much I adore Shay. She's like a daughter to me. And…"

"And?" Ash asked.

Mr. Benson shot Mrs. Benson a look, as if telling her it's okay… She can probe… Just a light probe on Ash will do.

"And it seems like whenever you and Shay are having problems, you… Often run to RyRy. Isn't that one of the reasons why you two have grown close these past few months?"

"That's… That's not true," Ash whispered as she tried to fight the tears that are starting to well on her eyes. _Fcku! Why do I even feel like crying?_

_"No, that's not true. It can't be true. Can it be true? No, no. It isn't."_ Ash convinced herself.

Yet… Random memories started to flood her mind. Didn't she spend the night talking on the phone with Ry after Shay's birthday celebration? Didn't she obsess about Shay the whole time they were talking? Didn't she choose spending time with Ry whenever she and Shay are having a fight these past few months? "_No, not a fight, just a misunderstanding,"_ Ash corrected herself. But… But... Didn't she hang out more with Ry in New York back in September when she promised to Shay she would be spending time with her? Didn't she kiss him when she thought Shay couldn't see them? Didn't she? _Oh-my-god! I've been running to him? I have, haven't I? No! No! No! This isn't true. This can't be friggin true. No!_

"Mom… Mom… I didn't mean to… run. I, I didn't. I didn't want to. It just… It just happened… I shouldn't have. I, I messed up," Ash said as she struggled to fight her tears from welling her eyes. And as if Mrs. Benson could sense the panic already enfolding Ash, she tried to calm her down and wrapped her with a tight embrace. And when Ash felt Mrs. Benson's warmth against her, that's when she finally broke down and let lose the tears that she's been trying to bottle up since.

"Hush, baby girl. Mommy's here," Mrs. Benson said while she gently caressed Ash with an embrace. Mr. Benson met Mrs. Benson's gaze with a worried look, and so did Shaylene. Mrs. Benson assured them Ash would be fine. She will be… She hoped that she would… In time.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts anyone? <strong>

**Reviews? **

**Still want more chapters?**


	15. Chapter 14

**I'm so, so, sorry I haven't been able to update as soon as I hoped. :( **

**I've been busy with work, graduate school and life I guess. I appreciate all the support and the requests for an update from all of you guys. I hope this was worth the wait. xoxo**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapt<strong>**er 14**

"Are you coming over? My mom's been looking for you," Ash said absentmindedly on the other line. She's been sitting on the couch near their window pane, staring at the bright day light that welcomed her this morning. She sat with her legs crossed on the living room's table, her blond hair as messy as it can get, her sweatpants hanging loosely on her short legs, while her favourite Lakers' t-shirt semi-hugged her petite body.

Before she called Ryan, she fiddled on the thought of calling _her_... _Ergo Shay._ Yet her mom's words rang ominously in her head... _"You've been running to Ryan whenever you and Shay are having problems." _How could she be so stupid and not notice it? For months, she's been running to Ryan. How is it possible that she brought this much damage to her relationship with Shay? _"Damage to what?"_ Ash asked herself. To their friendship? Who was she kidding. Everybody knows they have something _more_ than 'regular' best friends are supposed to share yet here she is, iPhone clutched by her tensed palms, talking half-heartedly to a guy she's grown to love. How she arrived to that situation, was and will always probably be a puzzle to her. How she end up hurting herself and Shay along the process... That she can probably answer.

Ash could hear Ryan on the other line talking about his friends. Correction, 'their friends'. He muttered of stories she's heard before, he laughed at his own jokes and in return she did the same... She let out a hearty laugh, convincing enough to let the other person know that she's listening. Sort of.

Ryan on the other end knew Ash was just merely hearing him speak on the other line. If she was listening, Ash would've said "congratulations, you scored another deal for JB" instead of giving him her sure-I'm-listening laugh. He's heard that kind of laugh before. A lot of times actually... More than necessary, more than he wished for. And there could only be one person going on in her mind when she does that.

_"How on earth am I gonna amount to Shay?"_ Ryan thought to himself. He clenched his jaw at the thought of him losing to Shay again. He figured, he'd always be second... Or next... Or after. Whatever you may call it, that he can attest to. For Ryan, it felt like he's holding a jar of love with no point of entry at all. He was after all just a second choice. For a brief moment, he wondered if Ash even had the slightest idea about it. And if she does, he wondered if Ash would ever have the heart to admit to it.

"Is Manny coming over too?" Ash asked.

"Uh, no. I don't think he can make it. I think he's gonna be off to Vegas tomorrow."

"Hmm, okay. Gotta go though. Mom's calling for lunch. And she says hi to Justin."

"Alright, will tell Justin. Love you, Ash..." Ryan said with all the strength that he could muster.

"Yeah, same here," Ash said as she abruptly dismissed him and pressed the 'End' icon on her iPhone.

Ryan felt a tight pang in his heart hearing Ash say "yeah, same here." But who's he to complain?

"At least I got the girl," Ryan huffed and then started the car engine again.

Ash filled her lungs with the morning air and exclaimed, "yeah, mom! I'm coming!"

* * *

><p>Shay woke up past eight in the morning today. Had they not finish shooting early last night, she probably wouldn't feel relieved that she's back to her good 'ol apartment. She also felt extremely grateful and light this morning. She can hardly remember the last time she felt this way... She couldn't put in the best word to describe the chaotic mess that she's been with on and off with Ash these past few weeks... Rather months. But whatever you may call it, she wanted it to be the least of her concerns.<p>

Boxes of different sizes filled Shay's apartment. She heaved a sigh of mixed feelings of relief and excitement knowing that she'll be moving in with her best friend, Alex, in a couple of days. It saddened her to leave... This was her first apartment after all, her first home outside her beloved Canada through Pretty Little Liars.

There were a lot of firsts in this apartment...

Always have.

Images of Ash flashed like a raging river through her mind. The mere thoughts of Ash suddenly felt like heavy bricks hanging on her eyes. Ashley's laugh echoed through the empty halls of her apartment. She glanced on her couch and saw Ash sitting with her bowl of popcorn on her right hand, remote control on the other, switching from one channel to another, laughing crazily over some silly shows playing on tv. It amazed her how Ash could stuff in so many laughters in her heart, more than enough to share, more than enough for her to remember.

She glanced on her kitchen and saw Ash goofing around while she'd find herself laughing heartily at her nerdy-ish dance moves and shallow jokes. Shay could feel Ash' fingers on her dry cheeks, messing around, starting unnecessary food fights that would always end up with the two of them bickering on who gets to wash first. She glanced on her wash room and was reminded of Ash, most of the time on her blue or favorite black bath robe, purposefully playfully walking on her carpet and white floor tiles with feet dripping with water. She remembered reprimanding Ash every single time not to do it but how can she stay mad at Ash? She can never. She wont. That she's sure of herself.

Shay let the tips of her cold fingers ran through her empty dining table. Her trembling fingers collected a good amount of dust and reminded her the countless nights that she and Ash spent together having coffee or dinner, whereas most of the time she could hear Ash complaining to her on why she kept on making her eat 'healthy foods'. Shay even found herself smiling, remembering the time when Ryan caught Ash pinning her against the kitchen wall. She then glanced on her fridge where it used to be filled of random pictures of her and her friends—mostly with Ash. She particularly remembered her picture with Ash having picnic, holding cupcakes with much gusto, how they were so happy just because.

She glanced at her window just a feet or two away from her terrace and was reminded of Ash either holding her hand or hugging her from behind, giving her much comfort and warmth that only Ash could give. Shay remembered how Ash' voice soothed her tired heart and body. She remembered how Ash, even without telling her, would try every possible way to comfort her, to make her smile, to make her happy and make her feel how she's so proud of her.

Ash _loves_ her... In ways she can't explain. In words her mouth can't seem to form.

Shay remembered how things were, when they were together... that nothing else mattered. Not even time, not even space, not even distance. Shay wondered when did that stop happening? When did Ash start replacing their laughters with her defiant tears?

Shay leaned against the wall and slid her hands inside her pants' back pockets. She breathed an air of restlessness and tied her hair to a lose bun while she willed herself to walk. Her eyes found the door and was reminded of Ash standing on the other end, smiling from ear to ear, her blue eyes always beaming with excitement as if they haven't seen each other in decades; that usually ends with a tight hug and a kiss on her cheek. Shay also bitterly remembered the times when Ash would walk out from that very same door, armed with her tears and a broken heart over the petty things that they often argue about.

Shay let out a faint chuckle at the memory of Troi teasing her nonstop before that Ash has a _'Shay smile'_. The kind of smile that makes you feel 'warm and fuzzy' on the inside as Troi would often put it before... Nothing but a 'Shay smile' for Ash whenever Shay's name get mentioned, whenever she's around, whenever they're together. Shay chuckled at the idea of Troi saying those things. It sounded more of an irony than that of a reminiscent feeling.

And then... And then her eyes darted to her bedroom's door. She lost count of the nights that Ash spent the night with her. _No, I mean, 'slept over'._ She felt goosebumps remembering the times when she and Ash would sleep together... Their bodies comfortably against each other. Their warmth fighting against the cold air of her room's ac. She recalled how Ash would possesively wound her arms against her waist, often times her hand intertwined with hers. Ash would then cling to her as if she's holding on to her dear life.

Shay held her breath as more memories of her and Ash ran like a storm's wind to her heart… She recalled how many times she pretended to be asleep, trying to memorize the shape of her face, of her eyes, of her lips. _Her lips_… She wondered if it'd taste just as sweet and as soft as she imagined it to be.

Her memories brought her back to her and Ash serenely lying on her bed. She recalled how she often found herself stopping mid air from breathing just so hers would be in sync with Ashley's. She was reminded how Ash would wake up in the middle of the morning just to tell her she looks crazy beautiful even when she's asleep, her lips often presssed against her forehead or almost behind her ear afterwards, willing her to go back to sleep. Shay also recalled how Ash would often tease her in the morning that she's been sleep-talking again mumbling 'you're so gorge' to her celebrity crushes like Ryan Gosling and Paul Walker.

She recalled how Ash would sometimes wake up in the morning, at times her blue eyes filled with a hint of hesitation and fear whenever she meets her gaze, and yet it amazed her how it's easily dissolved just by merely caressing her, cradling her back to sleep, her face often times snuggling immensely close to Ash' neck.

Shay's heart ached as she recalled how Ash would tell her 'I love you… More.' whenever she thinks she's fast asleep, how she tried her best to stop herself from smiling crazily like someone who's head-over-heels in love. How Ash would say "I love you" in different tones she can possibly understand and imagne... At times there were tones of happiness. Or sadness. Or with fear. Or with hesitation. Or with hope.

Shay remembered their moments long enough to send shivers to her spine. These memories brought her a different kind of joy. A different kind of heartache altogether. A kind of love she's never felt before. It surprised her how much power it had over her. Or still has on her. It felt like she was done with tears, like no tear drop could suffice to the unexplainable feeling that she's having right now.

She pushed the tears threatening to fall back to where it seem to belong—back to herself, back to her heart where it should've stayed a long time ago.

Shay found her feet walking to a box marked 'Skittles & Gobstoppers'. It was a box full of stuff that Ash gave to her. Not one single nerve of hers dared to touch it. She didn't need any more memories weighing her down. What she needs… _What does she need? _

"I need to leave," Shay finally uttered.

* * *

><p>Keegan glanced at himself in front of the mirror. He let out a shy smile of satisfaction seeing himself clad with his dark gray Dolce and Gabbana suit. He paced a few steps of nervousness over what he's about to do yet he found it unnecessary mid-doing it, recalling how Troi would tell him to put a stop on his anxiety. That he can always win his way with his boyish smile, as Troi would always put it. He found it rather believable than more of Troi being her usual self armed with her wit and sarcasm.<p>

He catched a few deep breaths before getting into his Mustang car. "Here we go," Keegan mumbled.

-ooo-

"You ready?" Keegan flashed his best smile in front of the most beautiful lady she's ever had the privilege of meeting. Of having in his life.

"Yes, I am, Sir Keegan," Shay replied with excitement. "Where to?" She asked out of curiousity.

"Somewhere we both haven't been to," Keegan said vaguely, leaving a tinge of mystery to Shay's wondering brown eyes.

Shay joked, "you're making me nervous. You're not gonna bring me to a deserted island and leave me there alone would you?"

"Of course not, why would I leave my princess alone?" Keegan said with a tone of confidence.

Shay's heart felt overwhelmed by the attention and gentleman-gestures that Keegan's been giving her since time immemorial. She secretly reminded herself that she could use his company. He was after all the closest guy to her heart. Keegan understands her in ways even she can't fathom. And yet… Despite of everything that she's made him go through, no matter how painful they were… _are_, here he is, smiling goofily like a boy who just got his gift from Santa... Just because they're together. _Like nothing happened._ How he does it… How he stays strong will always be a mystery to her.

Yet Shay felt sincerely grateful how Keegan always saved her… again. And again. From sulking, from mourning her broken heart, from wanting to drown in her fears and confusion. He was her knight in truest sense. She was and will always be the apple of his eyes, that she can attest to. He's been nothing but a gentleman whatever the cicumstances are. He's always had a hand that she can hold, always have a strong arm where she can lean her head on. He's always on the wait line, always patient, always eager to listen. Always… Always willing to love her.

He never begged for her love and attention yet he slowly found a place in her heart. She felt compelled to return the favor... to love him back. But no matter how much Shay tried, no matter how much she willed the thoughts of Ash to go away whenever she and Keegan are together, nothing seems to be ever enough to push away Ash off of her mind.

Ash, as she guessed, is a resident of her confused heart. And Keegan could be the visitor that's always been welcomed with the best hospitalities. _"What an analogy," Shay thought to herself with a hint of irony._

For some reasons, whenever Keegan holds her hands, she initially feels Ashley's. She often have to give her hands at least five to ten seconds before it finally realize that it's Keegan holding her hand and not Ashley. When Keegan smiles at her, for a split-second, she'd see a smiling Ash first than a smiling Keegan. It seems like even her hands and her eyes refuse to face a different kind of reality. One where Ash doesn't place a major role. Her heart protested at those thoughts but she was too exhausted from everything that's happened these past few weeks, she couldn't find the strength to complain or dismiss those thoughts anymore.

Shay slightly shook her head in disbelief at her own Ash-lucinations; a short private term she derived whenever she remembers Ash even if she's with someone else. She also came to realize that her Ash-lucinations are more pertinent whenever she's with Keegan. She figured she and Ash have been fighting, scratch that, bickering endlessly for weeks, her heart has probably forgotten how to be happy even at the mere memory of her. As if she's forgotten to be_ 'just be'._

"Everything okay?" Keegan met her confused eyes with a concerned look on his face.

She gave him a reassuring smile, one of the best smiles she can let out on such a lovely night with Keegan. She tried to dismiss the worry building up on Keegan's face and instead tried her best to change the atmosphere.

"How's your mom by the way? I thought she's gonna come over to Cali for this Christmas? What happened?"

Keegan heaved a sigh and replied, "aw, you know my mom. She changes her mind more than she changes her undergarments."

Shay chuckled at Keegan's use of the term "undergarments". He's the only person she knows who still uses "undergarments" than that of widely accepted terms like "undies" or "underwear". She silently mouthed the words, "what a gentleman" and let out a smile. A genuine smile, that is. No underlying hesitations, nor a tone of sadness.

"What's so funny? I just said my mom isn't coming over. So I might have to fly out of state to see her," Keegan said softly while he reached out for Shay's available hand. There was no protest on Shay's end. She returned the favor by holding his hand too sending a feeling of serene happiness to Keegan.

She glanced at their hands intertwined yet another image of Ash holding hers flashed through again. She ignored it and replied, "nothing. I just think you're the only person I know who still uses "undergarments" instead of "undies"."

"Oh! That? I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to be funny. I just, uh, I dunno. I think it's just more proper, like it gives more respect to women. Tsk, I sound like an old man, don't I?" Keegan said sheepishly.

"Kind of!" Shay replied while she made a funny face that Keegan found adorably cute.

"So? Where to? You haven't told me where we're going," Shay asked, slightly unable to hide her curiousity and excitement.

"Here," Keegan said coyly. He stopped the car's engine and quickly got off the car to open the passenger's door for Shay.

Shay eyes widened as she was welcomed by throngs of people… "Wait here," Keegan said.

Keegan went back after roughly ten minutes holding two overly sized red papers.

"What are those?" Shay asked.

"You'll see," Keegan replied with a wink. "Let's go there. We need some space," Keegan said while he pointed to an area where there were less people.

"Oh, alrighty," Shay reached for his left arm and held on tight to it. Keegan caressed her hand for a bit and lead her to a semi-free space, almost hidden from the throngs of people that welcomed them when they first got there.

Keegan gestured for a halt, and though his heart protests, he gently removed Shay's hands off of his arms. Shay stood like a tall bamboo, not moving, wondering, yet curious on what Keegan's doing… Keegan slid out the giant papers from their plastic and tried to form a square box off of it. Keegan let out a lighter and was initially stopped by Shay's hand…

"Is that what I think it is?" Shay said, eyes beaming with excitement.

"Yes, my princess. I got you a flying lantern," Keegan said with a tone of satisfaction, happy even he was able to make Shay smile. He hasn't seen Shay let out a smile free from 'Ash' in a long time. And for that, he was utmost grateful.

Keegan initially thought of bringing her to a fine dining restaurant but where's the fun in that? When his friend gave him a heads up that they will be holding a Flying Lantern event, he immediately reserved for two flying lanterns for him and for Shay. He hoped that by doing so, he could spend more time with her. That he could at least free her from all the stress and exhaustion that she's been feeling these past few weeks. And though Shay would never admit it, or at least to him, he knows Ash is mostly the cause of it.

He wondered if he could at least be enough for Shay, at least for tonight. He wondered if Shay could ever smile to her the way she smiles to Ash. He hoped that Shay would find tonight as something worth remembering. He hoped that tonight will count to something. Whatever that 'something' may be. _"Something good, positive, I guess,"_ Keegan thought to himself.

"Ready?" Keegan looked at Shay with hopeful eyes.

"Yes," Shay said as she held on to her flying lantern.

Keegan leaned closer to Shay and whispered to her ears with a smile, "close your eyes and make a wish".

Shay could feel his eyes burning through her skin. She felt tempted to open her eyes to meet his gaze instead she found herself closing her eyes for a good minute and welcomed the warmth eminating from her lantern with an open heart. She wished… She wished…

Her thoughts were interrupted by Keegan asking him if she's ready to _let go _of her lantern. She answered her with a nod and a sweet smile, Keegan in return mouthed "1, 2, 3" and then both of them lifted their flying lanterns and wished… Wished that their wishes would come true.

"Are those sad tears?" Keegan shot her a concerned look and gestured to wipe off the tears with his hand. Instead she caught his hand, held it tight against her cheek with her eyes closed...

"No, Keegs. Happy tears. Just happy… Thank you for making me happy tonight," Shay said weakly.

Keegan wrapped her with a tight embrace, kissed her on her forehead, and whispered, "that's all I want for you… to be happy. Always, my princess."

* * *

><p>Go ahead.<p>

Enjoy, review, favorite.

Make me a happy author.

Kisses and hugs,

G

* * *

><p><strong>Happy New Year everyone! <strong>

**Have an awesome 2012 wherever you are! **

**Mwaahhhh!**


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: Ookay, so I realized I haven't updated in like forever. And to be honest, I haven't been able to follow closely Shayley's tweets these past few months. Blame it on my postgraduate course, I've been busy as hell. And err, had a mental block too. So these two aren't helping at all but I appreciate you guys taking time to read and still ask for an update. And the reviews? Wow! I hope there'd be more to come. I must be doing something right at some point eh?**

**And about the timeline of this story… I left off around late last year (Chapter 14). Way back when Shay has just moved in with Alex and Ash was just in the hots for dating Ryan [in real life].**

**For this chapter, I decided to skip in a couple more months after and we'll just have flashbacks from time to time. I'm sorry if I made some of you guys confused with the flashbacks and whatnots. I know there are still a few questions left unanswered. And I promise I will give you answers, I'm just trying to find um, a "moment" for 'em.**

**Err, enough with my mumbling and let's get on with the story. : )**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

_**** Timeline: Mid-August 2012 ****_

The PLL cast had just finished shooting an episode directed by Marlene herself. Everybody's been looking forward to going home… Except for a few people maybe, Shay, Ash, Keegan and Troian included…

"Spill it, Shay," Troian probed.

"Spill what," Shay curved a playful smile on her lips while her fingers tapped impatiently on the table.

"That [smile], that's what I want you to spill, silly," Troian teased.

"Nothing,"

"Nothing? If nothing means looking at that damn door for over half an hour with those gooey eye of yours, I'd say I haven't done 'nothing' in err years?"

"Oh, stop Troian with the sarcasm please," Shay pleaded.

"I'm not! I so am not!" Troian said, acting defensive with both of her hands raised up, and a huge smile plastered on her face. "Seriously, why are we looking at that door? What are we expecting? Or should I say who?"

"Keegan,"

Troian said "Oh", not hiding her tone of disappointment.

"Try not to look so disappointed, Troi" Shay said, eyes still fixed on the door, waiting for Keegan to come out of it. "He should've finished shooting by now," Shay said while she glanced on her watch.

"You two out for a date?" Troian asked innocently.

"Um, no, not a date. It's just dinner and then movie time at my apartment," Shay said casually.

"And Alex wouldn't mind that at all?"

"Nopes, she's gonna be in Canada for a week. The apartment is all for me," Shay said excitedly and even managed to hum her usual happy tune for a bit.

"Really," Troian said meaningfully.

"Yes, really. C'mon, Troi, ease up. I'm okay," Shay said.

"I never asked if you're okay," Troi said with a frown.

"You know what I mean. If we're on the same page, then let me say it again, I'm okay." Shay reached out for Troi's available hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Troi squeezed back her hand, answering it also with a reassuring gesture. Both of the girls met each other's gaze, and even between silence they both understood what each other was trying to tell to one another.

A hearty laugh broke Shay and Troian's meaningful gaze to each other. And judging from both of the girls' changed expression, they both knew exactly whose laughter it came from…

Ash was on the phone while walking towards their direction. She was laughing, obviously oblivious whom she would be bumping to. Shay tried to let go of Troian's hand out of impulse and acted to leave before Ash could catch her. But Troian already pulled her closer to her [for support] before she knew it, and left her with no choice but to hold on to Troi's and flash a smile towards Ash.

And as if on cue, Ash ended her call and greeted them with a hug.

"Anything new?" Ash said, trying to break the ice, trying to manage the silence that fell on them.

"Uh, no, we—" Troian and Shay said in unison.

"You?" This time Shay and Ash said in unison.

All three girls broke into laughter and fell for another momentary silence… With Ash deliberately trying to avoid Shay's eyes… While Shay held on to Troi's hand like she's holding on for her dear life.

"Did Shay tell you that she's gonna jump again for her Somaly foundation? And um, she'll be getting a white tattoo for that. Isn't it right, Shay? Right?" Troian said, finally breaking the silence. She gently nudged Shay on the side as if trying to get her attention and her response.

"Yes! Yeah, uh, I'll jump again. You should come," Shay said, genuinely offering Ash to skydive with her. "It'll mean so much for the girls and to our fans," Shay added.

"You know I can never take that kind of plunge," Ash said almost inaudibly. "But I'll see you the day after tomorrow? Dinner at my place? Or yours?" Ash said, trying to change the topic. She knew her first statement hit a chord on Shay and she didn't want to put in any more pressure to that.

"I uh, I can't. I have the whole for me and Keegan, next ti-,"

"But she'll try. Rain check, right? Shay? Right?" Troian cut her in.

"Of course, yes, uh, rain check, Ash?" Shay said, almost mimicking what Troian had just said.

"Yeah," Ash said.

"Yeah." Shay said.

Ash picked up her iPhone out of habit and bid the two goodbye. She promised them both that she'll meet them up for dinner at their most convenient time.

"What the hell was that about?" Troian said, both of her hands holding Shay's shoulder this time, making Shay face her direction. "You said you're okay," Troi said with a deep sigh followed by a comforting hug for Shay. Shay hugged her back and rested her back on the couch.

"I am, Troi. Don't worry too much. Ash and I… We're okay. We're okay-_okay_. We're there… I mean, we're both trying to get to back to our feet after everything that's happened. The past few months have been chaotic, exhausting, I'm just glad that you and Lucy have been there for me, Keegan especially," Shay said, her eyes tight closed, her breathing rather slow and heavy.

"I know, sweetie. It's been hard for you two. And I see that you two have been making a lot of effort to get back together, patch things up, you know. Good thing you can now get comfy again with her and make videos even,"

"For our fans, Troi, anything to make them happy," Shay said.

"Even at your expense?"

"Yes," Shay said firmly.

"Can we please talk about this some other time?" Shay said, obviously getting uncomfortable with the Ash topic that Troian brought up.

"Okay, okay… We will, promise me that you won't avoid talking about it again, about her…" Troi said with a tone of concern and worry.

"Yes, I promise, pinky promise," Shay smiled sweetly with her right pinky finger, waiting for Troian to do the same thing.

"Okay, Shannon, if you say so," Troi replied with a smile as well, locking in her right pinky finger with Shay's; both promising to each other that they'll talk about her Ash situation… When Shay's ready. Whenever that may be.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Ash found herself walking mindlessly at the parking lot. She took her keys from her purse and as if on cue, started the engine and held onto the steering wheel. She got up from the car and paced back and forth... Her iPhone has rung twice or thrice consecutively already, she wasn't sure anymore. She took her iPhone out and ignored all the calls that she's been receiving from Ryan. She plugged in her headset while her Shannon playlist blasted on her ears. She tried to drown away the nagging thoughts that she's been having about Shay and tried her best to calm her tensioned nerves…<p>

When she bumped on Shay and Troian, it felt like the earth would swallow her whole. "Good job, Ash, for making things weird between you and Shay. Damn it, fuckin what, Ash. You know better than that," Ash argued with herself.

She instinctively called Troian and set up a dinner with her. She asked her not to tell Shay about it…

"Really? Of all places, dinner here in your car? As in inside your car?" Troian complained, not hiding her disappointment to Ash.

"Shay might see me," Ash said.

"She won't. She already left with Keegan. They're heading to Shay's place after," Troian said casually.

Ash felt that usual tinge of hurt again, right there on her stomach, that unexplainable feeling she'd rather not label whenever there's a mention of Shay and Keegan together, worst when she'd see pictures of them all over the internet looking like a couple, much more hell when she sees them on set because they're inseparable. "Damn it!" Ash cursed.

Troian couldn't help but smile for a second or two when she heard Ash curse at the mere mention of Shay and Keegan together. Ash is jealous again, and heck, she knows Ash will never admit to it. Shay was right, Ash will never take the plunge. Ash will never owe up to her feelings. Ever. Shay was firm on that belief.

"Excuse me?"

"What now, Troian?!" Ash said, almost shouting.

"Nothing, was just trying to confirm if we'll actually have dinner here in your car,"

"You know what, I changed my mind. Let's have dinner tomorrow instead. I, uh, I'll be meeting up with Ryan and um her mom," Ash mumbled the words, obviously trying to make up an excuse.

"Really? That's okay. I have a thing too," Troian replied.

Troian was about to get off the car when she sat again and tapped Ash' arm holding on to the steering wheel.

"Yeah?" Ash said, giving her a questioning look.

"Ash, whatever this is, you and Shay… She waited for you, you know that right?"

Ash nodded, head slightly turned down, her eyes fixated on her feet.

"You know me, I know you three like almost the back of my hand. I can tell by the way Shay walks if she's feeling happy or not. And you know how she's been. You know that she hasn't been that happy since…" Troian trailed off of her thoughts for a bit and continued, "since that happened. You just made her more confused, Ash. Please, do something. That's all I'm saying, Ash."

"I can't, Troi. I don't know how," Ash tried to look for words, but deep down she knows Troian is right… She and Shay… She broke Shay. There's no denying that.

"You don't know how? Or you don't want to? 'Cus those are two different things," Troian said calmly.

"I, uh…"

"You have to go, I know… Or else you'll be late for your dinner with Ryan and her mom. Drive safely, Ash. I don't wanna hear that you'll get into trouble again. You know who'll get a heart attack first it that happens. And that's not your mom,"

Ash nodded guiltily again. She wouldn't want Shay to worry like hell because of her. Troian shut the door and left her contemplating alone in the car…

**_** Flashback / Sometime on December 2011 at Shay and Alex' apartment ** _**

_ At Shay and Alex' apartment…_

_"Someone's in a good mood," Alex stared at Shay expertly whipping up some pasta recipes that she assumed are for two people. And something's telling her that doesn't involve her or any of their common friends. _

_"Someone's coming over?"_

_Shay didn't respond. She was caught up slicing some bell peppers, she could barely hear Alex. Shay removed one of her headset plugged on her ear and asked, "Some what, 'Lex?" _

_"I was just asking if you're expecting someone to come over?" Alex repeated. _

_"Yes! Ash is coming!" Shay said excitedly. "She'll be here in an hour or so."_

_"And you obviously don't want me around when she comes?" _

_Shay stopped slicing the peppers and met Alex' teasing eyes with a sheepish smile. _

_"Okay, now how I can I say no to that look? Fine, I'll leave. I'll make myself busy while you prepare for your dinner date with Ash," Alex said. _

_"Hey! It's not a date. She's also my best friend. She's just coming over for dinner. And besides you know that we've been fighting an awful lot these past few weeks. I'm just glad that we haven't had that for a while. This is just um, some sort of celebration," Shay explained._

_"Hang on, you can't use Ash and 'she's my best friend' in one sentence at the same time. That can't be true. You know she's more than that."_

_"No, she's not," Shay replied defensively._

_"Just admit it already, Shannon," Alex insisted. _

_"There's nothing to admit and this is just dinner. I'll cook something for you too when you get back. Promise!"_

_"No, you won't. I only get the best take out's whenever you say that, not complaining though. I'm leaving now. Be back by 11. Don't do anything that I would do. And please don't make out on my couch, I just bought that yesterday." Alex said with a teasing laugh. "I mean it," immediately changing her facial expression into a serious one. _

_"Alexis!" Shay corrected her, "there will be no making out sessions!" Shay swore her cheeks turned red as a beet because of Alex. She was just glad that Alex headed out already or else she'll make a feast out of her embarrassment again. Yet she couldn't help but wonder if there'll be make out sessions at all. "Wouldn't it be nice?" Shay wondered. _

_It took her almost an hour to finish preparing their dinner. She meant for it to be simple… Ceasar's salad for an appetizer, Pasta with anchovies for her main course and an Ice cream for dessert. She figured since she had reservations from her newly discovered restaurant tonight, a light dinner would suffice for the meantime. She was in so much hurry to get things done since she woke up late, she even forgot to take a bath…_

_A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She stopped putting utensils on the plate for the meantime and headed to the door instead…._

_"Ash! Hey! You're early!" Shay beamed when she saw Ash' figure right across her. She immediately placed a kiss on her cheek and gave her a quick hug. _

_"Sha—" Ash was suddenly lost for words when she saw Shay standing in front of her. "Who the hell wears their lingerie while preparing for dinner?! Naughty, Shannon," Ash thought to herself, inconspicuously forming a wide grin on her face. _

_Shay, as if guessing what's on Ashley's mind, suddenly realized that she hasn't changed from her nighties yet. She's still wearing her white satin lingerie, comfortably hugging her curves… Any guy or girl, even a straight one, wouldn't deny that she looked hot on her lingerie. And with that sudden realization, Ash' eyes were fixated practically on her body, she almost froze with her cheeks red as a rose from embarrassment. She didn't mean for Ash to catch her like that. Sure, Ash has seen her in a zillion sexy clothes but not like this. Not under the pretense of her preparing for dinner while in her lingerie. "Oh my god, Alex! Why didn't she tell me I was still on my lingerie! No wonder she's been smirking at me since!" Shay grumped to herself. _

_Shay recomposed herself and asked, "Uh, dinner?"_

_"Huh?" _

_Ash could feel her throat drying, her mouth slightly open, her eyes unable to look away from the sight to behold in front of her. "Oh, Shay… White, effin skimpy lingerie," Ash secretly exclaimed to herself with exasperation and unexplainable sudden rush of blood through her veins. "Yes, di… nner…"_

_Shay can feel Ash' eyes burning through her skin. "She's looking at me… She's looking into me…" Shay panicked inside. Yet she didn't make any effort at all to move. Instead, she inched herself closer to Ash… Close enough to feel Ash' breath on her neck… Warm, inviting, urging her to step closer… Closer… Closer to her face… to her eyes… to her nose… to her lips… Ah, those lips… Shay tried to fight the urge… to… kiss her… Yet…_

_Ash didn't make an effort to move away either… Instead… She inched closer too… Close to Shay's… Close enough to Shay's angelic face… The same face she has memorized so well… Those lips, so inviting… A smile slowly formed on Ashley's face… _

_Both girls heaved a sigh in unison, waiting, expecting each other to make a move. Both anticipating something… something to happen… how long have they been standing in front of each other? 20 seconds? 30 seconds? A minute? _

_And just when Shay thought the unthinkable wouldn't happen, Ash slipped her arm on her waist and closed their gap with a kiss… _

_Her lips finally met Ashley's sending both of them into bliss. It was slow, warm, unassuming… Shay could feel her legs feeling weak from all the sensations that she's feeling from the kiss… And as if Ash had sensed it, she pulled Shay closer to her... giving her more support with both of her arms wounded on Shay's waist. _

_Ashley's lips were asking for more room, slowly plunging in, wanting for something deeper, for more… And Shay happily gave in and answered her kiss with more intensity… More affection, more of what she has vowed to offer… _

_Both girls were caught up in the moment when Shay suddenly jolted away from Ash, tears rapidly forming in her eyes, meeting Ashley's wondering eyes with confusion, hurt and sudden realization… _

_"No, Ash… You don't get to do this to me, not again. I can't let you." _

_"Shay… I, uh, I… I don't, I don't know what you're talking about," Ash didn't let go of Shay and instead rested her head on her shoulders, heavily breathing on Shay's neck… Trying to calm Shay. _

_"No, Ashley. You've always known how I felt for you. I just can't… This kiss, this shouldn't have…" Shay said while she tried to push Ashley away yet Ash wouldn't bulge. _

_"A kiss always mean something," Ash cut her in. _

_"Yes, and I'm not sure if we share the same meaning for it. Please leave, Ash. Go back to Ryan. This dinner was a mistake," Shay said weakly._

_"What does Ryan have to do about this? No, I don't want to, I'm staying, I swear to God I'm staying," Ash said, feeling a lump forming in her throat as she said those words, still not letting go of Shay. _

_"You and me… Ash, there can never be an us as long as you're seeing Ryan,"_

_"I can leave him, I swear, I can, I promise that I will," Ash said pleadingly, tears starting to stream on her face. _

_"If you can, then why am I still here? While you're out there with Ryan?" Shay said in between her sobs. _

_"I, Shay… I…"_

_"Because you just can't," Shay finished Ashley's sentence conclusively. "Please leave," Shay pleaded. She tried to push Ash away from her with whatever strength is left of her, wiped her tears off and closed the door leaving them both a definite space between them._

* * *

><p><strong>PS: <strong>

Sooo, Marlene did direct one of the upcoming episodes, I think Season 3'sepisode 13. Can't really remember. It's on Tumblr though.

Ash is still dating Ryan, right? And I'm pretty sure you guys have been seeing pictures of Shay and Keegan together lately. Seems they've been going out a lot these past few mos. Im just putting color into it for this story.

Shay also skydived in real life for her Somaly foundation just a few days ago. And judging from the pics that's been going around the internet, seems she had a white tattoo on her wrist that says 'love'.

Also, when Troi said that she knows Aria, Ashley and Lucy well so here in the fic, she did say that in real life too. I read it somewhere on Tumblr.

[In this chapter] now we all know that Shay is still in love with Ash… And Ash still wouldn't commit herself to Shay… and Keegan, being the always gentleman himself, has always been there for Shay… What's Keegan and Shay's status eh? What do you think?

I hope I didn't disappoint you guys with this chapter. I will try my best to update whenever I can. x_x

**Send in your reviews and suggestions!**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: Yes, Shayley is still the end game. That I can assure you guys. : )**

**I guess what I'm trying to do here is to show everyone how and why it hasn't been easy for Shayley to be together after all this time [in relation to real life, of course]. Hmm, these chapters are like glimpses of the struggles that they have to go through, be it individually or as Shayley themselves, in order for them to truly 'find' each other... To appreciate and cherish whatever they have now. And that sometimes knowing that they love each other isn't enough. That you always have to own up and commit to what you feel towards that person. Crap, I'm being sappy. Sorry! Let's get on with the story! ^_^**

**Danae - Thank you for pointing out my double post! Appreciate it!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

**** Timeline: beginning of February 2012 ****

Shay felt a gentle nudge on her side. She couldn't exactly tell if it was real or was it just a part of her dream where his brother is annoyingly poking him to make her get up from bed? Could it be Alex though? But she's not supposed to be back anytime soon from her dj'ing gig.

The nudging continued, patient and gentle at that. Shay's eyes remained closed and unwilling to cooperate. She has the whole day for her. After all, she's all done with her scenes. Table read's schedule with the rest of the cast hasn't been confirmed yet, and honestly speaking this is one of the rare times where she feels like just curling up on her bed, munch on her jelly beans and skittles while she watch tons of Cake Boss and 2 Broke Girls episodes on Netflix.

"_Shay… Wake up…"_ There goes the nudging again, Shay complained. Her body made a gesture, not wanting to move, refusing to get up from her bed.

"_Wake up, buddy…" _

"Hmmm, n…o…" Shay murmured, still refusing to move.

"_It's almost 9 in the morning, babe, you have to get up… Please?" _

"No," Shay said firmly, eyes still closed, arms clinging to her pillow. _"Ash?"_

Shay was obviously drunk from sleepiness she can barely pull herself together to move. It took her a good half an hour before Ash finally got her to get up from bed.

"You're a friggin heavy sleeper, you know that right? You were talking again in your sleep," Ash teased.

From what Shay can tell, Ash has already taken a bath and changed into her usual pj's and ridiculously large Lakers' t-shirt. She could almost smell the scent that Ashley's shower gel left on her bed. Shay thought Ash must have laid beside her while trying to wake her up. _Poor, Ash._

She let out a hearty smile at the sight of Ash looking fresh, oh-so-showered up with her morning hair. She figured, Ashley would always have that trademark look, that kind of still-pretty-even-with-messy-hair-ish look.

Shay wanted to kick herself for not realizing immediately that Ash went over for a sleepover. Wasn't it her who sent her a text asking her to keep her company? It was supposed to be just a regular dinner like they've grown accustomed to but one dinner more often than not leads to a sleepover. No one's complaining… especially her.

"How long have you been awake? You're messing with me, Benzo. Sleeptalking? Really? I was?" Shay asked in disbelief, grabbed the first pillow she got a hold of and covered her face out of embarrassment.

"Yes, you were. Look at me Shay," Ash tried to take away the pillow off of Shay's face but Shay wouldn't let her. "C'mon, please, let me see your pretty face."

"No! I can't be held responsible for whatever I say in my sleep," Shay said childishly while she's still covering her face with her pillow. And just when she attempted to cover her face even more, Ash was quick enough to take it away from her leaving her no choice but to face Ash with her cheeks red as a beet.

How many times have Ash caught her sleep talking anyway? One time Ash heard her saying 'I do' to marrying Ryan Gosling, the other night she said in her sleep that she's flying with Foxy who surprisingly grew four tiny wings on each of her feet. The list can go on actually.

"Hey, hey. C'mon, there's nothing to be ashamed of, really. But…"

"But what?" Shay asked innocently.

"But now that I'm thinking about it, you know I can make up a book out of your sleep talks. Can earn millions, you know. Or I can tweet-spree your dreams, you choose, babe" Ash said with a wink.

"You're killing me, Ash!" Shay tried her best to suppress a smile that's slowly forming on her lips, "Stop it, buddy! You're embarrassing me!"

"I am so not!" Ash playfully complained. "But really, do you wanna know what you said in your sleep?"

"No," Shay said. _Really, she wants to know._

Ash stepped out from the bed. She stood in front of Shay and put on a serious face. She crossed her arms across her chest and met Shay's wondering eyes. Shay darted her eyes on the floor and tried her best to look away as much as she can but how can she? She's damn curious about what she said. She can never forgive herself if Ash catches her telling the things that she's not supposed. Not ever, especially not when she's sleep talking.

"You know what you said?" Ash heaved a sigh before she continued, "you ready?"

"Na-uh," Shay replied nervously. _So not._

"You said…"

"What? What did I say?" Shay asked, obviously getting impatient.

And then Ash just did the most exaggerated demo of a girl hugging herself… She turned her back from Shay, hugged herself, arms playfully roaming up and down her back, making it look like someone's hugging her while she went on saying "Oh, Ash, oh! I want you! Oh, Ash," eliciting exaggerated moans in between, "Oh, please!"

"Oh-my-god-I-did-not-just-say-that-in-my-sleep!" Shay retorted while she tried to suppress her laughter. Her cheeks were flushed red while she threw every pillow she could grab to Ash.

"Yes, you did!" Ash insisted and then she playfully stick out her tongue while she tilted her head to the side behind the pillow that partially covered her face.

Shay squealed, "nooo!"

"Oh my god Shannon, you're so easy!" Ash couldn't stop laughing at her silliness and Shay's embarrassment. She bet Shay would rather be eaten by her bed alive out of mere embarrassment than watch her make a fool of herself.

"You're impossible, Benzoooo!"

"You know Shannon, if you really wanted me and my body, you could've just asked," Ash teased while she moved closer to Shay… Her face directly paralleled to Shay's. Ash then cleared a few streaks of Shay's hair that's been blocking her face… Her blue eyes smiling towards the brunette.

"Really, Shannon, you could've just asked, I wouldn't have said no. This [her hand made a gesture of pointing to herself] can be yours if you wanted to," Ash went on teasing Shay. Then she placed a quick peck on the tip of Shay's nose and immediately grabbed her hand that almost knocked the balance out of them two. And just before Shay could make any more reaction to Ashley's jokes, she already found herself trying not to lose balance when Ashley grabbed her hand.

"Let's eat!" Ash beamed. "I'm starving." And just like that, the mood changed from playful Ash to a whiny Ash asking for food.

- ooooo -

Both girls sat on their usual places at the dining table. Shay can't put a finger on it exactly but somewhat, in between of Ashley's jokes and whining, her mood somewhat changed. _"What did I really say?"_ Shay wondered to herself.

Ash, as if she read Shay's mind, turned her focus to her plate. She played with her food with her fork and pretended to be enjoying what she's eating.

"Do you really wanna know what you said in your sleep?" Ash asked. Shay couldn't tell if Ash is being serious this time but it seems that she's trying to be one.

"If you promise not to joke about it then I might say yes," Shay replied. "But I bet you'll make sure that I won't forget about it."

"You said…"

Ash stopped mid-sentence trying to build anticipation between them… "Nothing, Shay. You said, nothing. Seriously. You were sleeping like a baby, a gorgeous one at that, minus the snoring of course."

_Wrong._

_Liar, Ashley. Tell her the truth. _

Shay wasn't sure if she's entirely relieved that she didn't say anything in her sleep or if she's just content that Ash stopped messing with her already. But whichever, she was cool with it.

"You almost had me," Shay said with utmost relief. _Yeah. Almost._

Are you still going with me to Brazil? Lucy already freed up her schedule. She's coming with us. That's okay with you, right?"

"Yeah," Ash said flatly.

_Go tell her Ash what she said. "No!"_

"You said something, Ash?"

"Huh?" Ash obviously caught off guard, "No. I, uh, no… I didn't say anything. What were you saying again?"

Shay repeated, "I was just asking if it's okay for Luce to tag with us to our trip to Brazil."

"Yeah, sure. It's Lucy anyway."

"_Tell her, Ash! Tell her!"_ Ashley's nagging thoughts won't stop, making her unconsciously touch her temple with her right hand and heave a sigh of frustration.

"_Tell her, dammit Ash! Tell the damn truth!"_

"_Fkcu, no!" Ash argued with herself. _

"Shannon? Mom asked if we could drop by at our house today? She wants up to pick up her homemade cake and some pastries she made for us. She also made some for Alex cus I told her she's your roomie now."

"Ok, cool. I'll drive later," Shay replied enthusiastically.

"_Tell her the fckiun truth, Ashley Benson!_

"Are you done [eating]?" Ash asked, deliberately ignoring her nagging thoughts.

"Yeah," Shay replied.

"Okay, I'll put these in the dish washer," Ash said.

"Sure, something wrong?" Shay asked worriedly.

"Uh, nothing, let's go back to bed? I suddenly felt tired," Ash said.

"_Tell herrrrrrr!"_

"That's what you get for making me your butt of jokes so early in the morning, buddy," Shay insisted. Ash just answered her with a meek laugh. She locked her hand with Shay's and led her back to Shay's bedroom.

Shay suddenly felt a light tug on her hand, as if gesturing her to stop walking… And when Ash caught Shay's attention… She said, "I love you, buddy…"

"I love you too, buddy," Shay said while she cupped Ashley's face, and continued "I love you more."

"Good," Ash said out of impulse.

Shay frowned at Ashley's reply and wondered if she said something wrong.

Ash said, "tell you what, let's sleep? And then we'll pick up Spencer for dinner later" while she consciously changed the topic and told Shay,

"Sounds like a good idea," Shay replied.

"_Dammit, Ashley, Tell-her-the-damn-truth!"_

Shay crawled to her bed while the blonde followed her stance. Shay almost instantly fell to a deep slumber.

Ash stared at Shay longingly… She thought Shay looked so calm… As if she's in so much peace. Ash couldn't help but smile back when Shay's lips formed a small smile, as if she knows that Ash has been watching her.

She found herself snuggling closer to Shay… both girls in an almost spoon position. She locked her hands with Shay's and contented herself with the comfort and serenity that eludes through her. Ash closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep but to no avail…

"Shay? Are you still awake?"

_Silence. _

"Shannon? Babe?"

_No response._

Ash hugged Shay tightly and filled her nose with Shay's faint scent…

"Shay? Are you really asleep?"

_Still no response from Shay._

Ash heaved a sigh before she went on… "Shay…"

Ash arched her head closer to Shay's, close enough to make room for her to whisper to the brunette… She heaved a sigh, as if taking a moment or two, closed her eyes and planted a kiss on Shay's bare shoulder…

Then she inched closer to Shay's… Her lips almost touching Shay's earlobes… She tried her best to keep herself composed… She tried to control the tears of defeat that she's been trying to hold since last night. She struggled to form the words out of her mouth…And then she whispered…

"Babe, you said…"

"…_I love you too, Keegan_."

* * *

><p><strong>PS:<strong> Oookay, so we all know [in real life] that Shayley have always wanted to go to Brazil together, or at least according to their Ustreams but aren't you all guys surprised that it was Lucy who came with Shay to Brazil this year instead of Ashley? x_x

I hope I didn't disappoint you guys with this Chapter. I didn't mean for it to be another sad chapter but the flow of the story just came on me. Probably because I was reading a Leyton fic before this. Please forgive me!

Btw, thank you again for your continuous support. Thankkkk yoooouuu!

Whoever you are that's reading this story, wherever you are, im sending you my *hugggggs* ^_^


	18. Chapter 17: I remember everything

Hi everyone! Hope you guys had a wonderful weekend! I can't thank you enough for lending your time reading this fic... It warms my heart whenev I get emails that my fic has been added to follows/favorites/story alerts/fave author... It's like, wow! Really, thank you!

**J.A.** - I love you!

**Koni** - hope i didn't drive you crazy! *hugs*

**Jss** - yes! so back! imma try my best to update, if possible, on a weekly basis *fingers crossed*

**Honeybunch -** aww! no, i didnt give up sweetie. i gave up on my tight schedule though. hmppf. but glad to know i was able to at least make you smile bec of this fic.

**Danae** - hope you like this one!

**urSkittles** - hi love! as promised!

**Fefi** - i dunno if you're still reading this fic... but i miss you my lil sis!

**Anons -** thank you lovelies for leaving your reviews!

And yes, yes, yes. **Shayley is still the end game**. Btw, this flash back is the answer to the cliffhanger from Chapter 2... where Troian saw Shayley couple of days after the New Year Celebration. This would also answer where Shay's charm bracelet love came from.

Hope you guys would enjoy this! And if you have any suggestions or requests... do leave me a review. I promise, **Shayley will be together soon** in the succeeding chapters.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17: I remember… I remember everything.<strong>

**Timeline: Jan. 3, 2011, At Shay's former apartment building's rooftop**

It was past 5 in the afternoon and the sun was just about to set. The weather was just perfect as it is, not too windy, not too sunny. The rooftop looked liked it hasn't been cleaned for a day or two. There were still a couple of bottles of beers and quite a number of colored cups scattered everywhere. There were a couple more ash trays filled with leftover cigarettes on the tables that were no longer in order. Shay could tell the landlord held a New Year Party, what with all the mess and the musty smell of cigarettes and beers that welcomed her when she went to the rooftop like she would always do before.

On most days, whenever her schedule would permit, she would stand still at the rooftop and would either listen to her music on her iPhone or take pictures of her surroundings… It could be a picture of the sunrise or the buildings that's covered most of her apartment's, or the tiny people that just looked awfully beautiful from where she's standing, or when she's lucky… She gets to spend some time watching the sun set.

"Yellow orange…" Shay said out of the blue.

"Yellow orange, what?" a familiar voice asked. "Like the Power Rangers?"The voice asked innocently.

Shay remained standing still. She didn't turn her head to where the voice came from, instead her lips formed a small smile and then she happily closed her eyes and let the wind blow the lose strands of her hair off of her face. She inhaled deeply and was comforted by the wind that gracefully touched her bare shoulders; thanks to her old, lose shirt that she liked wearing on most nights. It was an old shirt that her father used to wear. And she's gotten into the habit of wearing her father's shirts. If she had she not been raised by her mom to be independent and strong-willed, being apart from her family because of Pretty Little Liars would've easily tear her apart.

"No, silly. I thought you were asleep, Ash," Shay replied with a smile. She slid her hands to her short's back-pockets and enjoyed the calmness that the day has brought upon her.

"I woke up and you weren't sleeping on my side anymore. So I thought this should be the first place where I should look for you," Ash said while she stole glances at the figure standing in front of her.

Shay's back was facing her and she had her hair tied up on a loose bun. She was wearing plain denim shorts, slippers and a slightly large white loose tee that almost looked like an off-shoulder with a "Me Gusta ButtahBenzo"at the back that Ash playfully wrote one afternoon when Norman was joking that they should come up with a show called "Buttahbenzo". It was rather small and one could barely see it. Shay almost cried in protest because it was her father's shirt but she managed to convince her it wouldn't hurt to write a few letters on the shirt. And besides, no one would see it, Ash pushed. Ash purposefully wrote it near the neckline, just below Shay's nape, "just where it should be," Ash thought to herself.

"Then what is?"Ash asked innocently, as if those two words have daunted her enough. Her forehead formed small creases and wondered naively what Shay could've meant.

She was never really like Shay who's always had a knack with words, that more often than not when she speaks, it feels like they have more meaning to what she actually said. A small smile formed on her lips and pondered on the fact that she was, and will always be, somewhat Shay's opposite. Shay was 'of words', she was not. She borders more to being frank, too frank sometimes for her own good. If Shay was the North Pole, she would have been the South Pole. If she were Canada, she would've been the America. "Now that didn't make sense,"Ash said to herself incoherently.

"Yellow, orange… That's the color of the sunset that I like the most," Shay said [almost] poetically, snapping Ash back to reality.

"I guess I like that too," Ash replied with a smile. And she does, she actually does. She likes whatever makes Shay smile. And whether she would admit it or not, err as cheesy as it sounds, she would do anything just to make sure Shay's always smiling. She never really delved on the thought of the saying "sometimes, one smile can make you melt," but since she started hanging out, since she started knowing her more, it felt like she would melt whenever she would see her smile. Like she can't do anything but smile back. Shay… Her smile… She's always had the power not just on her… But she's seen it with other people too. She simply radiates, like an angel for the lack of a better term, and everyone surely notices it.

Ash made a gesture to step a little forward and thought of standing beside Shay but she hesitated for a moment and wondered to herself if she should just stand still at her position… Or should she move closer to her… _Should I? _After all, she was rather content gazing on Shay, taking in her beautiful figure, filling her lungs with the very same air that Shay has had, as if she's etching this surreal experience in her mind.

Shay, as if sensing Ashley's hesitation, turned her back and met the blonde's hesitant blue eyes with the most heartwarming smile. She then extended her left arm for Ash to grab, instead Ash locked her fingers with hers and both girls contented themselves standing still, chests across the old bricks of the apartment building and filled their lungs with the beautiful air that the sunset offered.

"You know I still remember everything," Ash said casually out of the blue, almost in a matter-of-fact tone, while she met Shay's puzzled eyes. Ash darted her eyes to the cars and the people that looked like ants to her eyes.

"Remember what?" Shay asked her with a curious look registered on her face, Shay freed herself from Ash's hand intertwined with hers and then she hooked her left arm to Ash hands that are now comfortably resting in her jacket's pocket.

"I remember. I mean, like I remember the first time I saw you. I remember the look on your face when you were standing outside the casting room. You were holding this, uh, piece of paper, you know, almost too tight… And then you turned your back on us, and stared at the wall for a minute or two. And then your eyes wandered; you had this look on your eyes as if you were looking for something, you know. It wasn't like you were lost or something. It was, um, it's like as if you knew exactly that you were at the right place? At the right time…like you knew you had to be there. But I don't know? I just, I was… That's how I remembered it… And… But I thought to myself, how can she possibly doubt herself? I was so sure you'd get whatever part you were auditioning for. I just had a strong feeling about it."

Ash trailed off through her thoughts and as she said those words, it felt like seeing Shay the first time, as if she were in the very same room, as if she was there again. And god knows how much she treasured that memory.

"Go on,"Shay said with a tone of encouragement. She could sense that Ash was a bit apprehensive, and this would have to be one of the rare occasions that Ash wouldn't jerk around to hide how she truly feel or what she really wants to say."I'll listen," Shay probed.

"I mean, I… I, uh, I remember how you stood at that moment, not too tall, not proud, just there… standing, you know. 'Just there'. I remember the clothes and the shoes that you wore… Everything's still clear in my head. You wore this White v-neck tee, denim pants, brown boots. You had long hair before, just like now. You had a brown bag hanging on your shoulders. It didn't look heavy and you barely checked it at all so I figured maybe you don't have an annoying boyfriend who's always checking on you. And then our eyes met for a second or two. You didn't really take notice of me. I mean, it wasn't like you were staring at me like I was doing to you. Okay, that sounded creepy. But it was just like… You know, like you saw me and that was it. And then it hit me… When our… When I finally saw your face… When everything finally sunk in to me… I knew instantly that I wanted to know you. That I wanted you to be a part of me. And I secretly wished to all the gods and saints that I could count on my fingers that you get the part that you were auditioning for because I knew we would be friends. I just knew. I knew I'd want to take care of you. And you had this 'look', you know vibe, like you're so strong, but you're so fragile. You know what I mean, Shay? Oh my god, this is fuckin embarrassing."

Shay wordlessly inched herself closer to Ash, as if nudging Ash to go on…

"I still feel the same way... I'm… I guess I've been drawn to you the first time that I saw you. And I know just how ridiculously stupid that sounds, creepy even, but that's how I felt. That's how I still feel for you… And I'm only gonna say these things once. And I need you to remember that… Because you're my best fri-... Shay, you're one of the best things that ever happened to me. You know what's ironic? Is that sometimes when you look at me or when you walk towards me, it feels like day one you know. Like I'm seeing you through my first memory of you. Just like the first time I saw you. I just can't shake it off of my system."

Both girls stood in silence. Shay rested her body against the cold bricks as if wanting, no needing, for support. It felt like her legs have turned into jellos after hearing what Ash has just revealed to her. She wasn't prepared for it. While it's a fact that she's always known that she's important to Ash, and that Ash definitely made sure that she would feel it, and that their closeness meant everything to the both of them,.. But hearing her say those words… hearing her reveal herself, like that… Putting her guards down like that, peeled off a layer of a wall that Ash has always purposefully put up. And it warmed her heart knowing that Ash showed that side of her.

Ash anxiously waited for Shay's response. Did she say too much? Did she sound like a creepy stalker? She frantically thought of words or excuses to come up with to cover what she said. Yet she felt guilty of the action that she intended to make. In fact, there shouldn't have been any excuses at all. That's how she felt. That's how she vividly remembers her first encounter with Shay, her first experience with her, even if Shay didn't know it yet.

She bowed her head a little, panic surprisingly getting the best of her, as she tried to fight the tears that are starting to well her eyes. It felt like her chest was about to explode and if Shay's arms wasn't linked to her, she would have ran for her life and drove away as fast as she could. She wanted to regret what she said but she argued to herself… How can she regret telling the most special and the most important person to her life the one memory that she's always kept dear to her heart?

Her revelation to Shay scared her… It was as if blood had escaped for her face. She swore it felt like her imaginary cold sweat is already coming to life. Ash wished she put her best feet before saying anything. Hadn't her mother warned her to be always careful of her words? Had she not learned that yet?

Shay tried to collect her thoughts and tried to mutter a response. What should she say? Thank you? I feel the same way too? I'm sorry I didn't notice you the way you did? But she hardly has any 'first memories' of Ash. She just knew that she was auditioning for the Alison character but that was it. There were a lot of blondes during that day, and while Ash did stand out because she was extra 'out there' compared to the other people auditioning, she felt rather guilty for not paying attention to her then now that Ash has just told her about how she felt towards her.

Shay felt a little bit embarrassed that her memory of encountering with Ash paled in comparison to hers. Shay trailed off her thoughts, leaving the already panic-stricken Ash more panicked, if that's even possible. She cleared her throat but words wouldn't come up out of her mouth. She bit her lower lip in response and searched for the words that she hoped would ease Ash. Yet words have rapidly escaped her, and for the first time in her life, she was speechless. Here is a girl, whom she has known as if they've been together for a lifetime, telling her about her first memory of her... And no matter how it sounded so simple, Shay's heart was filled with inexplicable joy and warmth. Like the words that Ash muttered were of no strangers to her but welcomed guests that she has long been waiting to hear from her.

"Ash…"Shay said almost inaudibly. "Ash," Shay repeated while she tilted her body as if nudging Ash to do the same, yet Ash didn't make a move. Her feet felt like they were cemented to the ground, her chest almost about to explode.

Shay heaved a sigh of hope that Ash would look into her eyes. And to her surprise, Ash did. Ashley's blue eyes anchored to hers and for both girls it felt like they were frozen in each other's gaze. It felt like time has frozen, as if their eyes are speaking to each other with a language of love that even the girls couldn't fathom. It's as if they're in a strange territory—away from their comfort zones… As this gaze, this meeting of the eyes, this meeting of their souls sealed whatever the two are sharing.

Shay unhooked her arm from Ashley's and though Ash secretly protested, she instead waited for Shay's next move. Shay almost instinctively slid both of her arms inside Ashley's jacket, drawing them both closer to each other. Both girls swore they could feel each other's heart rapidly thumping against each other yet none of them flinched. Instead they savored the moment and let the wind bring them more serenity.

"I…" Shay spoke in hesitation, scared that the words that will come out of her mouth will change everything—everything that she and Ash shares… Shay rested her forehead on Ashley's and then she inhaled deeply as if consciously just waiting for courage to enfold her…

Ash anxiously waited for the next words that Shay will utter. And whatever panicked that has embraced her, it felt as what Shay just did washed it away… Shay coyed her head a little lower and placed a deep kiss on her eye before she rested her forehead again against hers.

"I love you," Shay said… With finality. With courage. With love.

This was more than Ash had hoped for. Even better than how she played it in her head. She imagined before telling Shay about her first memory of her… She would play different scenes in her head and she would imagine the many reactions that Shay would've done… But this… This reality that she's in right now, with Shay's body warmly and comfortably pressed against her, with Shay's hair occasionally brushing on her face because of the wind… This is so much better. "I love you, I know that now," Shay continued.

"I… I do too. I love you too," Ash said as she fought through her cracked voice, through her tears of joy that she has never felt before. She raised her arms and cupped Shay's face… "I love you, more than you could ever possibly imagine,"Ash responded to her heart's content.

Warm hands greeted Shay's cheeks and she waited in anticipation on what Ash would do next. Both girls froze in that moment, both not wanting to move, both satisfied knowing that this time… they know in their hearts they're at the right place and at the right time.

It was amidst this sudden realization for both girls when Shay boldly made a move, one that she knows she never would've done with anyone else but Ash… Shay, her heart rather filled with utmost bliss, met Ash' trembling lips and sealed it with a kiss.

Shay, right there and then, knew this would be a beginning of a new chapter for her and for Ash. And she hoped… No, she prayed, that she can be in this state… That she can be locked in Ashley's arms… Always.

Unknown to the pair were eyes scrutinizing their every move, as if memorizing every action they just did and every words that this unwanted visitor could have possibly heard of.

"Troian! What are you doing he-?"Troian instantly covered Lucy's mouth with her palm and Lucy, for whatever question she would be asking, failed to mouth it. Troian immediately grabbed Lucy's arm and lead them both downstairs as fast as she could.

What Troian witnessed… She couldn't put the best words to it. And when she did, "Intense" and "Finally" were the two words that came out of her mouth. Lucy asked her non-stop why she was in such a hurry to go down when she thought she already found Shay and Ash but Troian wouldn't bulge. She already likes this somewhat innocent love that have bonded Shay and Ash. And that kiss that she saw, that was way different from what she saw a couple of days ago during the New Year Celebration…

_Troian was just looking for Keegan when she saw Ash and Shay giggling like teenagers on a dark corner on the rooftop. She could tell that both seemed drunk already. Shay was talking about her favorite artists incoherently while she heard Ash debating to her why her favorite movie stars were better artists. The debate even went on from their crushes, like who's more handsome, who has more abs and whatnot. Troian chuckled at the sight of the two. It was no surprise to her that Ash would be extra giddy when she's drunk but seeing Shay in a drunken state, a personality way different from her usual composed self when she's sober was a pleasant sight for her. _

The two girls' exchanges made no sense to her and she would normally just walk away. But her curiosity got the best of her when the laughter stopped and was replaced with silence. Worry suddenly struck her and she hoped that neither of the girls fell off the roof for having too much to drink. She prepared herself for the worst thing but she was caught off guard for what she just actually witnessed—Shay and Ash, drunk beyond their wits, making out like hell.

She grinned with satisfaction as she snapped back to reality, trying to predict what the two would do next. She wondered if the two would even be able remember what they did. Heck, if the two would even realize that the kiss they shared at the rooftop, forget the fact that it was short and more of an assuring kiss than a passionate one, wasn't actually their first kiss…

The day after she 'accidentally' saw Keegan putting a charm bracelet with the word 'love' on it on Shay's arms. Now… With these revelations that she has 'accidentally' found out, she knew she would be in for an exciting year.

* * *

><p><strong>** Present, sometime End of Aug. 2012 **<strong>

"Troian? Troi? You with me? Did you hear what I said?" Keegan asked almost desperately.

"Huh? Sorry," Troian apologized sincerely. Troian was pretty sure Keegan was saying something about Shay, it was also then when Lindsay's figure caught her eyes. She saw her and Shay laughing heartily over something she could understand.

Troian heaved a sigh of frustration. She's always been in the loop with 'Shayley' and Shay has been confiding to her a lot more lately. She felt helpless knowing that it's been over a year and the two just can't seem to get their heads together and just 'be together'. She knew, right from the beginning, that despite of what she witnessed over a year ago, things has gone from worst to worst—with Ash who seems to be dating Ryan still although she hasn't seen the two together in a while, and with Keegan who has fallen for Shay, and now with Lindsay who seems to have a liking for Shay, something that she just cant put a word on yet.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

Question, would you guys agree if i put Lindsay (Paige) here? What do you guys think?

I got this idea because of the Shayleyshaw ustream recently. Have you guys seen that Ustream? Is it just me or what? But Ash def looked so jealous when Linds joined them on their Ustream. _

Leave me a review/opinion please, I'd like to know what you guys think!


	19. Chapter 18: It has always been you

**Hi loves!**

**S/O first! I'm so, so glad you guys liked the rooftop scene. You guys def put a smile on my face just by reading your reviews. And I'm so glad I get to talk to some of you guys through pm's. I'm also thankful for the alerts! Dang, it's like getting a Christmas present whenever my email tells me that I got favorited/alerts and whatnots. And I just recently discovered the Traffic Graph for Pictures of you * loser much *… I'm in awe how many people actually took time to read Pictures of you. I hope you guys enjoy it and please do leave a review. It would mean so much to me! **

**J.A. – Momo loves you sooo much! **

**Jammie – Sooo agree! Haha yes, I did get inspired because of Shayleyshaw ustream! I'm so predictable now. Lolz**

**PrincyJessie – Aww! Hahah yes, I also thought Ash felt a little left out when Lindsay came in. #TeamAsh**

**Dmpanda5 – Your review… That was very touching! I truly appreciate your kinds words. I seriously hoped that Chap. 17 wouldn't come off cheesy. I'd die if it did : p**

**Holly – Yay! Me too! I'm also excited how Shayley's relationship would go. Any suggestions? Go tell me! ; )**

**urSkittles – I was crossing my fingers you'd like it. Plus I remembered about your request and it was awesome that you reminded me of the cliffhangers that I left on the previous chapters. And yes, Shay and Lindsay have been tweeting each other. Lindsay seems to be so fond of Shay. Too fond, I think. Hehe.**

**Koni.88 – Yes! I did too! I always have this silly grin on my face whenev I remember that 'lil cub tweet. Might use that tweet later on. Watcha think?**

**Jss - "Buuut if there is someone who can add another character into thw story abd make it even better, that someone is you!" - Have I told you already how awesome you are? Thank you, jss!**

**Caro14 – agree! * thumbs up * Yes, hon. I had your review in mind when I wrote this chapter… You know, Spring Breakers and stuff. Thanks much! **

**Jemekins – Yes x 100! Ash did say in one of her ustreams that she remembered what Shay wore during their casting/audition. Omg, Shay was red as a beet the whole time Ash was doing the prank. Lolz. Re Chapter 9, yes, I will clear that up. I intend to tie all the lose ends that I left because of this chapter. Read on and you'll see. **

**CiCi – I like that name! I also like CeCe on PLL, do you? Re Sheegan, so much settled. I can't remember how many times already that Shay told everyone that she and Keegan aren't dating. They seem really very close though, you think? Linds has a boyfriend? Bummers. This is fanfic world anyway. I'll find a way to put her in. But on with the Shayley endgame first. **

**Bobby – It's ok if you don't like Lindsay ; ) Ashley's never happy whenev someone interrupts their Ustream. Remember when she, Shay and Ryan did a Ustream before? Ryan was like, non-existent. At all. **

**AngeLuz – Heya! You're so sweet! That's what I've always hoped for, to be able to make the readers feel like this fic is real. So I'm really trying my best not to deviate from what's happening in their real lives as much as possible. Lindsay will come in… Not soon though, so I hope that's ok. **

**Pridemunkeys – Maybe I should write a Spoby fic? Or a Troian/Keegan real life-ish fic like this? They seem close. Hmm, what do you think? Maybe a one-shot will do? I love Troi too. And if by a million chance Shayley ends up together in real life, I'm sure Troi would also be supportive. **

**LaughLoveLiveXx – lemme catch some air and please forgive my fangirling when I saw your name on the reviews! * blushing now * Yes, what a jealous girl Ash is. Soo adorbs! She's so transparent eh? **

**Thanks much also to Guests/Anons/Readers from the US, Philippines, UK, Brazil, Australia, Mexico, Thailand, Spain, Canada, Singapore, France, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Belgium, Indonesia, Bulgaria, Argentina, Venezuela, Greece, Korea, Bolivia, China, Colombia, Iceland, Puerto Rico, Poland, Malaysia... WOW!**

**Thanks guys for being awesome! Sorry for the loooong shoutouts and double alert! Mwahhh!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18: It's You… It has always been you.<strong>

_Ashley's real life tweet: Can't wait to spend my weekend in #Vegas AzureVegas PalazzoLasVegas! Aug 28, '12_

**_** Timeline: Aug. 28, 2012 **_**

"This is you," Shay said, snapping Ash off of her pensive state. "We're here, buddy [at the airport]. Are you sure you didn't leave anything behind?"

"You. I'm leavin' you behind," Ash replied with a sigh of frustration.

"Aww, hon. You know I'll be here when you get back. And besides, you'll be back in no ti—"

"But it should've been us. Vegas. Canada. Venice. That should've been us, Shannon. Not with the Spring Breakers cast. _I promised you Venice_, remember? And then this," Ash said with another sigh.

Truth be told, as much as excited as Ash was to attend the screenings of Spring Breakers, the first thing that came to her mind when her Manager told her that she'll go to Venice during PLL break is that 'finally' she can bring Shay to Venice.

Ash thought… How many times had she and Shay daydreamed that they're chillaxing at Venice? They would've walked together on the streets til the wee hours in the morning. They would've spoken in fake accents while talking to the locals. They would've gone downtown and shopped for clothes and shoes. They would've tried all sorts of ice cream, pizza and chocolates til they're too bloated to eat. She would've gotten the hotel's penthouse and then they would watch the sunrise and the sunset together. And as much as she hates to admit that waking up way too early for the sunrise that Shay loves the most, she'll get up from her bed still. _"For Shay anyway,"_ Ash reasoned out to herself.

"It's okay, hon. We can always go together next time," Shay replied with a comforting tone. She reached out for Ashley's face and cupped it with both of her hands. Flicker of hope from Ashley's blue eyes met Shay's comforting gaze. Shay walked a step closer to her, and said with the sweetest smile, "I promise, I'll be the first person you'd see when you get back."

Ash closed her eyes for a second, which felt like forever and let Shay's words linger through her mind. _"I promise, I'll be the first person you'd see when you get back." _

"You promise?" Ash asked innocently.

"Yes, I promise," Shay replied with a sheepish smile.

"Okay, okay. I'm gonna miss you though. I'm gonna miss you… So much," Ash said almost inaudibly.

Shay replied with a tight hug and placed her lips close to Ashley's ear, "I'll be here, like I promised. I've always been."

Ash wrapped her arms to Shay's. Heavy breaths filled Ashley's lungs. And while her heart protests leaving Shay, she knows she have to go_. "For work,"_ Ash argued to herself.

"It will only be a couple of days, you know," Shay said. Both girls still enfolded in each other's embrace.

Shay made a gesture of letting Ash go but instead Ash pulled her in closer for a tighter embrace. "No, don't let go," Ash pleaded. "Just… Just stay… here… with me."

A couple of minutes that seemed like eternity has passed, yet both girls still refused to let go each of other. Both hearts ached knowing that they have to part. Ash could feel a lump on her throat as she try to form the words out of her lips. Shay tried to come up with the best words, the best forms of encouragement to appease Ashley's feelings… But what can she say? What can she do? She can't just leave her commitments behind and ran off to Venice with Ash. But she could, right? No, she can't.

This would've been the longest time that Shay and Ashley will be away from each other… For Ash, it felt like Venice is on the other end of the world. And no amount of love for the city could ever replace the feeling of longingness, that feeling of wanting to be the person that you care for and love the most. She hasn't left yet, but in her head, she already played scenes where she's done with Spring Breakers' premieres, and instead she's in Shay's apartment watching movies with her and eating popcorn.

"Ash…" Shay whispered to her ears.

"Yeah?"

"You have to go… They're announcing your flight already."

Ashley's voice cracked as she tried to protest. "Please… Don't leave" were all the words that came out of her mouth. Ash fought the tears that are threatening to fall. She could feel her chest tightening, as if air has escaped from her whole being.

Shay made an effort to step back and let go of Ash. She could feel the familiar stabbing pain on her chest... Again. She tried for words… for any more actions or gestures to make Ash feel better. It felt like that the most that she can do is intertwine her hands with Ashley's and tighten her grip…

There was silence between them.

No words.

Nothing.

Yet their eyes spoke of longingness. Of inevitable distance. Of time. Of fear of leaving each other behind. Of pain knowing that they'll be apart.

Shay thought she'd do anything to put a smile on Ashley's face.

Anything…

For Ash.

Shay trailed off of her thoughts as she tried to muster the courage to let go of Ashley's hands…

**** Excerpt from Chapter 17 ****

_"I…" Shay spoke in hesitation, scared that the words that will come out of her mouth will change everything—everything that she and Ash shares… Shay rested her forehead on Ashley's and then she inhaled deeply as if consciously just waiting for courage to enfold her…_

_Ash anxiously waited for the next words that Shay will utter. And whatever panicked that has embraced her, it felt as what Shay just did washed it away… Shay coyed her head a little lower and placed a deep kiss on her eye before she rested her forehead again against hers._

_"I love you," Shay said… With finality. With courage. With love._

_This was more than Ash had hoped for. Even better than how she played it in her head. She imagined before telling Shay about her first memory of her… She would play different scenes in her head and she would imagine the many reactions that Shay would've done… But this… This reality that she's in right now, with Shay's body warmly and comfortably pressed against her, with Shay's hair occasionally brushing on her face because of the wind… This is so much better. "I love you, I know that now," Shay continued._

_"I… I do too. I love you too," Ash said as she fought through her cracked voice, through her tears of joy that she has never felt before. She raised her arms and cupped Shay's face… "I love you, more than you could ever possibly imagine,"Ash responded to her heart's content._

_Warm hands greeted Shay's cheeks and she waited in anticipation on what Ash would do next. Both girls froze in that moment, both not wanting to move, both satisfied knowing that this time… they know in their hearts they're at the right place and at the right time._

_It was amidst this sudden realization for both girls when Shay boldly made a move, one that she knows she never would've done with anyone else but Ash… Shay, her heart rather filled with utmost bliss, met Ash' trembling lips and sealed it with a kiss._

"Ash, open your eyes… Look at me, please…"

Ash didn't bulge. It was as if she didn't hear anything instead she held on tighter to Shay.

"I'll be here, as always. I promise. I have to drive back home."

Ash hugged Shay for the last time… And just when Shay's about to open her car's door, she paced back to Ashley and placed a kiss on her lips hastily. She couldn't care less anymore if anyone saw them.

Ash stood in silence. Almost in awe of Shay just did. She grinned at the memory of her 'rooftop kiss' now that those thoughts suddenly rushed to her mind. This… unsolicited, unrequited kiss... How many more stolen moments would Ash let pass?

Feeling weak, she walked a few steps to a corner and leaned on the wall. That kiss… What Shay just did. It felt more like a dream. How long has it been since their first… She diverted her attention and arched her eyes to Shay's car…

Ten feet.

Shay's ten feet away from Ash now.

Fifteen feet.

Ash reached out for her iPhone and played the first song on her playlist.

_A hundred kisses _

_By: She Wants Revenge_

_Shake off the rain  
>And dry off and come inside tonight<br>You don't have to be alone  
>You don't have to be alone<br>You've got the prettiest face I ever did see  
>With eyes inside like songs I swear I've known.<br>And I hope to god  
>That you're not pretending<br>Cause if you are  
>I swear I don't know what I'm going to do<em>

Twenty feet.

_And I hope to god  
>That you're not pretending<br>Cause if you are  
>I swear I don't know what I'm going to do<br>But I promise you that I'll be good to you  
>If you promise that you'll try to love me too<br>Somehow  
><em>

Thirty fe-. Ash snapped from her thoughts and frantically speed dialed Shay's number. "Pick up, please. Pick up, Shannon."

_I'd steal a hundred kisses  
>Before you say goodbye<br>And make a hundred wishes  
>In the name of you and I<em>

"Ash? You called?" Shay picked up impulsively.

_Cause what we have is secret  
>So don't let no one know<br>The past can't come between us  
>If we both just let it go<br>_

"Come back, hon. Please. Please. And I promise I'll let you drive home already."

_Today is the perfect day  
>Today is the day I tell you<br>If you ever walk away  
>Then I would die right there<br>For you_

"Alright, I'm driving back. Hold on," Shay said reassuringly.

_Give me your every breath  
>And promise me your world<br>I don't ask for much at all  
>All I want is all you've got<br>Could you be that girl  
>While you're thinking of me<br>Or have I project all of my hopes  
>On you<br>And I know there'll be nights filled with tears  
>I know there'll be fights and fears<br>But that's a part of it too  
>So do you think I have the slightest chance to be<br>Everything to you  
>Cause you mean everything to me<br>_

Shay pulled her car in just across Ashley. Ash pulled her headset off of her ears and tried her best to compose herself… Her blue eyes sparkled with happiness when she welcomed the gorgeous figure walking towards her.

"One last hug?" Ash said… Almost… Almost with a tone of despair and a faint smile.

Shay paced to Ash and grabbed Ash's hands reaching out to her. Ash wounded both of her arms across Shay's body and placed a light kiss just a few centimeters away from Shay's ear.

"Something wrong? Something happened? I drove back as fast as I could. You forgot something, did you? I knew you forgot something. I told you to make a list, didn't i?" Shay stuttered while she tried to catch her breath.

Ash didn't respond to Shay's query instead a smile curved on her lips. Ash leaned closer to Shay, closed her eyes for a good second and let the aroma of Shay's perfume fill her soul. And then she whispered…

"Shay… It was you." Ash took Shay's right hand, rested it against her cheek and placed a quick peck on Shay's knuckles.

Shay tilted her head a little, just enough to put a few inches of space between her face and Ashley's. Small creases of line formed on her forehead, unsure of the meaning of what she just heard.

"It has always been you," Ash continued.

A mix of confusion and astonishment registered on Shay's face… Just as she was trying to process what Ash just said.

"_It's you. It's always been you._ I've always loved you… More. More than…" Ash inched her face closer to Shay and was just about to place a kiss on her when Shay cut her off…

"People can see," Shay said with a hint of worry.

"I don't give a damn anymore. I shouldn't have this all along," Ash confessed. Shay's eyes were welled with tears of happiness, the unexplainable kind, that 'kind of happiness', if that ever makes sense.

"You don't know how much I've waited for you to say that… I waited. I've kept myself for you. I love you too, buddy," Shay said as she choked through her words.

"I know… I'm sorry… For being an ass," Ash anchored her eyes to Shay's brown eyes filled with tears… And she hoped… She sincerely hoped that those are tears of happiness, relief even. She knows how chaotic their 'friendship' has been for over a year already. And she wished like hell that she could just go back and start all over again. Had she not been a coward, had only she been honest with herself and to Shay… She and Shay… They… They would've been together a long time ago.

"Wait, what about Keegan?" Ash asked.

"What about him?"

"I thought you two were exclusive?"

"No, we never were. We're just friends. He's always been there for me… especially during… During the times when were having a lot of fights."

"You guys are not? You know, 'dating'?"

"No, if we were, you would've been the first person to know. You never really asked me about us anyway."

Ash mouthed an "ohhh" and she really couldn't believe how more idiotic can she be for not realizing that.

"What about last year? Back in, uh… Back in, February… I saw you two crying in front of your door's apartment. I came by to bring you cupcakes but I saw you two… I thought, I..." Ash stuttered through her words. She waited anxiously for Shay's response… _(A/N: Hint: Prologue)_

Shay tried to recall what Ash is trying to tell her… February… Keegan, us… February. _"What happened February last year?" _Shay hammered herself trying to remember what happened.

"Oh my god!" Shay exclaimed, eyes widened now that she has full recollection of what Ash just told her.

"Hon, what you saw back in February… I was… I was crying my heart out because I found out through Mrs. B that you started dating Ryan. I thought I'd hear it from you first. I mean, I never really saw that coming. I… I got so confused, so hurt, I couldn't process everything. I don't… I just didn't know how I'm gonna pick myself up. I mean… It was barely a month after our 'rooftop kiss' and then you, Ryan… You and Ryan happened. I just… I knew I was getting myself in trouble by acknowledging the fact that I love you… And Keegan… He always knew how I felt for you but he never said anything about it. He's been my shoulder to cry on. He was more of a knight for me during my toughest times and god knows how much I wish that I was crying to you instead to Keegan or Troian… But how can I?"

"Shh… I'm sorry… For everything," Ash replied.

"What does this mean? To us?" Shay asked.

"Whatever you want 'this' to mean," Ash said.

"Ash, hon… I don't want us to go in circles anymore. You know it's just gonna hurt me, us… if we'd be together while you're with Ryan,"

"Ryan, who?" Ash teased. "Nopes, not with him anymore."

"You're not with him anymo—" Shay said as she try to hide her smile.

"Sorry, hon. I meant to tell you sooner. I was, uh, trying to you know find some timing. But seriously… All I want for us… is to be us… together. Us, officially."

"Like girlfriend-girlfriend?" Shay said, trying her best to grasp what Ash just said.

"No, as best friends, silly. Of course, hon. As girlfriend-girlfriend," Ash said with the widest grin.

"I'm not dreaming, am I? I'm not hearing things? You're not messing with me, are you? This is real. This is really, really, really real," Shay said as she fanned herself with her hands. Ash tried to supress her giggle, and took a moment to appreciate how this day turned out for her. For her and Shay.

"Nopes! Sucks that I have to go, but we'll talk when I come back? And you'll pick me up as you promised?" Ash finally said.

"Yes, as promised," Shay said. Her eyes checked the surroundings, feeling confident and elated of the turn of events, she placed a quick peck on Ashley's lips, leaving Ash awestruck and smiling from ear to ear.

**- THE END -**

**A/N:** I'm kidding! This isn't the end yet. I got you, didn't I? : P

**Seriously, A/N:**

I wrote this chapter under the notion that Shayley have always been in love with each other. And that rooftop kiss (Chapter 17) meant to be a confirmation of how they truly feel for each other. That somehow they finally acknowledged the fact that their love for each other is in fact beyond friendship. That the chaotic dramas and fights that followed through after that rooftop kiss as evident on the previous chapters were the results of Shayley's actions in response to that kiss. Like Ashley's cowardness and inability to owe up to her feelings. Like Shay's commitment to making herself exclusive for Ashley only.

Oh! Mixed reactions on Lindsay coming in to the story. Don't worry guys. I've no intentions on making her a huge character especially now that Shayley is officially a couple.

It will always depend, I guess, on how you guys would interpret that rooftop kiss and what just happened on this chapter? What do you think about this one? Did you listen to A Hundred Kisses? Actually feel free to play a different song for the airport scene if you didn't like it. Hehe.

How do you think Shayley would be as girlfriend-girlfriend?

Leave me a review and tell me about it! I'll wait!

Have an awesome weekend wherever you are!


	20. Chapter 19: We're good different

**You guys have been beyond awesome with your pm's and reviews! Keep 'em coming! Thank you so, so much for taking time to read! **

**S/O's first!**

J.A. – Nighto san loves you so, so so much, Rikkooooo! Momo tonight! Momooo!

Laughlovelivvexx – Me! Me! I fangirl whenev I see your name on the review list * busteeeed * And about Troi… Aww! Thank you love! That has always been the goal, make the characters seem as real as possible.

PassionIsKey – Im so, so sorry you got confused. The rooftop scene was a year ago, err like the earlier stage of their friendship while the airport scene is the more current. Did I make sense? Hope I did = (

Pinkcrazyness – glad you liked the fic! I'll try my best to update every week

Koni88 – hi baby love! High five, right! Whats this that I heard? I think a day or two after the chapter was posted, word got around on tumblr that Ash and Ry aren't dating anymore? Ish that true? * grins * and yes! Lotsa, lotsa love and fluff

T – I had your review in mind when I wrote this. I figured Shay and Keegan should've a proper closure..

Jss – See how much I love teasing you? Next time imma try to give you another heart attack… Im kidding!

Jammie – im smiling too because youre smiling! Keep that happy face on your pretty face!

Arabella coyne – ooooh smut! I'll try my best… in due time! But pls don't get me wrong… I can only go on a smut level that I deem still respectable for these actors

Jemekins – hey hon! I heard about that ry-ash split too! Hmmmmmm! Im giving ry-ash a suspicious look now lolz

Cris1464 – thank you, thank you for the kindest words! Mwah!

UrSkittles – hi love! Hope you read my pm! Imma try to work out that jesse song you mentioned on this fic one of these days! stay being awesome! mwahhh!

CiCi – Yes! I lurve Shayleyshaw! Did you feel the tension during their ustream? Hehehe Since you mentioned a surprise, 'ny suggestions? I know you do! = P

Dmpanda5 – too late! I dug up my grave already! You broke my heart. Okay, im just being sappy! Don't worry. I've no plans at all of ending this fic anytime soon.

Vale89 – thanks hon! Hope you'd like this one too!

Mycah – actually, I thought about that… But, hmm, I think we should focus more on shayley as a couple for the meantime. Who knows, maybe we could play out a sexy scene for sheegan? Or troian and keegan perhaps?

JanaeH – yes, Lindsey will come to the story but just a few glimpses of her for the meantime. I really, really want shayley to enjoy their relationship as a couple after prolonging their agony of being together. Watcha think?

Ohhhh, sorry lovelies. Super long s/o! On with the story! = )

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19: We're good-different<strong>

_** Ashley's real life tweet: _Vegas airport at runroccorun Aug 31, '12 **

Shay has only had a couple of hours of sleep, what with the long hours she spent on Skype with her girl friend. 'Wow, girl friend, that felt… Awesome… _And just right_', Shay thought inwardly… Sending a huge smile to her beautiful face.

She hadn't had a chance to tell Ashley about her dinner with Keegan yet, she figured it could wait. Maybe.

Shay grabbed her iPhone and sent a text message to Troian in between her yawns, with Ash [on video Skype] asking her who she's texting so late in the evening.

_Shay: He knows. _

_Troian: Who? Be specific, Shannon. I prefer a name than a pronoun. _

_Shay: Keegan. He knows. Good nighty_

_Troian: What? He knows what? Let me call you now_

It wasn't surprising even when she succumbed to sleep while Ash was teasing her non-stop… Which eventually lead to the blonde watching _her girl_ fall asleep with a hint of smile on Shay's serene face.

The dumbfounded Troian immediately speed dialed Shay's number but she wasn't picking up... Troian settled to herself to wait this one out and then she'll talk to both Shay and Keegan. Tomorrow perhaps, she wondered.

_Troian: Is Shay asleep already? Has she told you yet?_

_Ash: Told me what? Hang on, she's on Skype with me. I'll ask her._

_Troian: Don't! It's nothing, really. Have a good night, Ash. See you soon!_

A knowing grin formed on Troian's lips as she processed her short conversation with Shay and Ashley. She crossed her fingers, not that that action ever made sense to her, but she secretly hoped Ash didn't suspect a thing on what Shay just told Keegan.

* * *

><p>It was quite early in the morning when Keegan woke up. It wasn't entirely dark outside but the rays of sunshine haven't come out yet. It felt a little bit chilly thanks to his room's ac, suddenly he regretted sleeping on his boxers again.<p>

He hasn't been used to sleeping in late whether they're shooting or not. It has always been like that… Wake up at quarter to 5 in the morning or 6-ish, do a morning run, wash his bike, make his breakfast. A routine, rather. And on most days, one of the few things that he has constantly looked forward to was to see Shay or spend time as much as he can with her. Today is no different, or at least that's some sort of a hope that he planted to his heart.

Last night was still a blur for him. It was neither a nightmare or a dream. How can it be when you have Shay on it, he wondered? Whatever that Beyonce song about 'either you're a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare' lyrics on it brought a tightlipped smile to his lips. It brought him back to a distant memory where Shay would obsessively sing-song those lines at no one in particular. It was just natural for her… For Shay. To be happy. And singing.

Keegan kicked off the bed sheets off of him and turned off the alarm clock that failed miserably in well… doing its job. Ironically, he always wakes up at least ten to fifteen minutes earlier before the alarm starts to make noise. He chuckled at the thought of keeping an alarm clock when clearly he doesn't need one. But if it hadn't been for Shay's insistence to keep it, he definitely wouldn't have. And just like that, he suddenly lost himself to thoughts bound to Shay.

He knew Shay has a habit of waking up around 6 or 7 in the morning. She was after all a morning person like him unlike Ashley. Ah, that name, _Ashley_, brought a different stung in his heart. He lauded himself for being able to dismiss that feeling but he knew there was no escaping. _At all. _There was never a way out. Or at least that's how he believes things to be. Or maybe he just didn't want to find the way out, away from Shay… When clearly there have always been.

Keegan thought to himself… He still has a way out, does he? He can walk away from Shay, bury his… Scratch that, forget the love that he has harbored for her. He already knew from the very start he's on the loosing end. Everybody has practically warned him he'll just get his heart broken since day one. Everybody, including him, knows Shay has always reserved herself for one person… Her whole being… To that someone, _to Ashley_.

Even he can never amount to her no matter what. He tried… So hard. He was a friend first to Shay before he started seeing her in a different light… And he promised to himself he would be a friend still when the time comes… When finally Shay would tell her she can never reciprocate whatever he feels for her. It was more like… He's just waiting for the truth to just slap him on his face. It's a harsh truth at that. Yet he made a choice… To stay. To be by her side. To still love her… Without asking for anything in return.

Ah, he probably should put the alarm clock back to its box… Where it belongs, really. Keegan thought, as he tried to find the symbolism between Shay and the poor thing. It felt like it no longer serves it purpose. Or maybe it did. After all, he only set the alarm to 6:30 am because it would be the same time that Shay would be waking up. He comforted himself with the idea that he and Shay would be waking up together almost at the same time… Only in separate beds, that is.

His phone lying on his dining table caught his attention. What time is it again? 6:30. Right, 6:30. He glanced on his wall clock again just to be sure but the arms don't lie… It's 6:30. He consciously waited for his phone to vibrate or did his phone just hear his silent plea? It did vibrate. There really was a message waiting to be read. Keegan took hesitant steps towards the table and let his arms stride limply while walking. He took a deep breath and silently pleaded for the text message to be kind, if that's even possible. And when he had reached his destination, his phone on the dining table that is, he stood like a statue staring back at the phone. He let out another sigh and let his palms wash over his face...

There it was… 1 new message from Shay… Two words… "I'm sorry."

* * *

><p><em><strong>** Flashback: Happened after Ashley left for Las Vegas **<strong>_

"_Sooo, Ashley left already?" Keegan said casually in between scooping ice cream that he and Shay are sharing. He meant to ask her out for dinner at a 'proper' restaurant but Shay was quick to dismiss him telling him that she's gonna be waiting for Ash to land in Vegas because she'll call her on Skype first thing. _

_He won't deny the fact that he was tad disappointed over Shay choosing Ash over him… Again. Like she always had. It wasn't anything like Shay does it in on purpose. It's just that as long as Ashley is involved, or heck, if she asks Shay to go with her or do something for/with her, Shay would drop whatever she's doing and will attend to Ashley without batting an eyelash. He envied that, so much… Those thoughts almost made him wince in pain and yes, of jealousy even, but he was quick enough to snap out of it. _

"_You know, we should grab a bite downtown. Lucy told me she went at this diner. Uh, I think it's Riley's Diner and she said the food was real gooood. How do you say you like something in Spanish again? Me gu… I think it's… me gusta! That's what my fans would always tell me on my Ustreams," Shay said in a happy tone, while she managed putting a scoop-full of ice cream to her mouth that made her smile involuntarily out of giddiness and sheer embarrassment over her childish act._

_Keegan fake-frowned and pretended that he didn't like the idea of going downtown which immediately earned him a pout and a puppy-eyes-look from Shay. How can he say no to that? _

"_Okay, okay, princess. You win. We're going. When by the way?" Keegan asked. _

_Shay furrowed her eyebrows a bit and stared blankly on her hand holding her spoon, "Hmmm, is tomorrow too soon?" _

"_Nopes, that wouldn't be a problem," Keegan replied. He made a mental note to cancel on Ian tomorrow. _

"_You look happy," Keegan said out of the blue. Shay actually does look happy for him. Too happy, he wondered to himself. Curiosity got the best of him and made him probe further. "What's up?" he asked. _

"_Nothing! I'm just enjoying our ice cream," Shay said guiltily, while secretly hoping her cheeks aren't as flushed as she could imagine them now. River of thoughts about her and Ash rushed to her mind… Their kiss at the airport… Though short, while some may argue that it was rather abrupt and done in haste, never fails to make her smile from ear to ear, you know the kind of smile that only Ash can spark… Add to that the mixed feelings of utmost bliss and lightheartedness altogether. You know, that moment, that "finally" moment when it feels like everything has finally fallen into places… She and Ash. Together. Finally. A wide smile escaped from Shay's lips again, which made Keegan even more curious. _

"_C'mon, something must have happened today," Keegan said with a nervous chuckle. An idea came to him but he pushed it aside… Pushed it deep, deep down actually. Only because he would rather not believe it no matter how close his idea may be to reality. _

"_I swear nothing happened," Shay mumbled with some ice cream still in her mouth. _

"_You know you can tell me anything," Keegan probed further._

"_Okay, okay. Something did. Imma let you in," Shay said in suspense. _

"_Go on?" Keegan replied. His heart involuntarily beating faster._

"_I drove Ashley to the airport today," Shay said while wearing a ridiculously happy, happy face after she said it._

_Feeling like Shay isn't telling her everything, Keegan replied, "And? Anything, Shay. Remember? You can tell me anything," Keegan said reassuringly with a gentle smile. _

_Comfortable silence fell between them. Shay tiptoed on the idea of telling him what transpired today but… She's not naïve to deny the fact that she knows how Keegan feels for her though Keegan never really asserted his feelings towards her. In truth, Shay found it very gentleman of Keegan to do so. Meanwhile, Keegan silently hoped for Shay to spill the beans. But… Does he want, really?_

_Shay's happy stance was suddenly taken over by hesitation and mere anxiety. Shay argued that Keegan is a good friend, a best one at that. But would she really let herself step over the fence and tell him the truth at the expense of breaking his heart? For the sake of 'telling the truth'? But this talk, this part of her telling him the truth, he owes it to him at the very least, right? Right. He deserves to know, right? Right. Ash would definitely want her to clear things up with Keegan, right? Right. _

_For Shay, it was never anything like she's ashamed to admit to everyone that she and Ash are officially together… No, that was never the case. But… It was the repercussions of telling the truth, of the people that will be involved… Rather, have been involved in this chaos that she and Ash have unwillingly wove throughout the months that sent Shay's mind to an overdrive. _

_A minute or two have passed which felt like eternity for the two. The happy banters a while ago are now undeniably replaced with an awkward silence between. And yes, with ice cream already melting. _

_Neither one flinched nor made a gesture to say anything. Keegan cleared his throat and tried to say something yet words have failed him miserably this time. Shay unconsciously brushed her fingers on her hair and heaved a sigh, as if trying to pull in the words that she knows she will have to say inevitably._

_Heavy breaths replaced the words that won't come out from the two. Shay stole some glances on Keegan from her side and she knew at that very moment Keegan's eyes spoke of deep understanding. Or could she be wrong? _

"_Keegs, Ash and I…" Shay finally said. "We're… We're okay now. We're really, really okay. Like finally okay. Okay-different."_

"_Good different?" Keegan asked. _

"_Yes, I guess you could say that. Good-different," Shay said, returning Keegan's words back to him. _

"_I know," Keegan said knowingly, as if he have interpreted and fully understood the full meaning behind Shay's choice of words._

"_I'm happy for you… For you both," Keegan added, almost above whisper as he tried to finish his sentence._

* * *

><p>Has it been half an hour already since he sat on his couch? An hour, maybe? Those words… Those two words, "I'm sorry," still rang ominously in his head, as if he could hear Shay's voice saying those words. He shook his head to chase the thoughts away… He has to go out. Yes, he has to, Keegan thought to himself.<p>

He got up to his feet, changed into his gym clothes and headed to the gym with his bike.

The gym owner acknowledged Keegan's presence with a nod and a genuine welcoming smile. Keegan couldn't help but return it with a half-smile. He would normally approach him for a small chat like they often do but he figured today could at least be an exception… He just wants to be… alone.

Heavy feet brought him to a corner where a number of punching bags hang off of the ceiling. He grabbed his boxing gloves from his bag… When the gym owner saw him pulling them out, he paced to Keegan to assist him. Momentary silence wrapped both men. Keegan patiently waited for the gym owner to finish helping him.

"Tough day?" The gym owner asked rhetorically.

Keegan brought his eyes to meet the gym owner's concerned look. And as if the two understood each other without spoken words, the gym owner gave him a light, concerned tap on his back as he walked away. Feeling grateful, Keegan uttered "thanks" weakly.

He gathered every strength left in his body and punched the bag with his heart out. A few punches turned to a dozen. A dozen punches turned to rapid, numerous punches that he lost count already. Feeling exhausted, he gave his hands a minute or two of rest, after which he resumed to boxing again.

"I've been calling you, Keegs" a familiar voice asked but he chose to ignore it and went on punching the bag still.

"Keegan? Did you hear me?"

"I did, Troi. Please, just… Leave me alone," Keegan said sourly, not looking at Troian's direction, eyes fixed on the punching bag as he punched it with one hand and the other. He wasn't sure anymore. He let out all the frustration, all the hurt, _everything _through his punches. If only he can. He wanted numbness this time more than anything else. Be numb, that's the goal.

Troian walked closer to Keegan and grabbed Keegan's arm within her reach, which almost made her trip as Keegan didn't stop on her account… Instead of letting go, Troi held tighter to Keegan's arm, feeling the hard blows of his punch onto the bag. Keegan tried to untangle his arm from her grip but the tall brunette refused even more to let go. Instead, Troi used her other available hand and held on to Keegan's other arm. By now, Keegan was throwing rather lighter punches to the bag, eyes anchored on the floor, gaining him conscious on what Troian's trying to do. Troi stood behind his back, both arms holding on to his, unabashed by sweat covering Keegan's nape and body in front of her.

"Keegs, please… Stop, please…" Troian pleaded. She rested her forehead on Keegan's nape and gently caressed Keegan's arms, asking him to _stop._ "Just stop…"

"You'll be okay, you will be…" Troian said on a hush tone, and on rare occasions she felt unsure whom she was convincing this time, was it really Keegan? Or was it herself since she's been a silent witness all along? Whichever, she supposed, unconsciously responding to her own silent query with a heavy sigh.

Keegan didn't speak a word. He stood there, silently, weakly, while he leaned his head on the punching bag as if leaning for support and asking for some strength. His defiant tears pulled a river through his eyes that was masked by the sweat of his face… He turned his back and met Troian's gaze, and wrapped her to a tight, tight embrace…

"You knew… Didn't you? You knew… About them. And you never even told me," Keegan said weakly in between his sobs, his perfect body almost shaking.

"I… I don't… I didn't know either. I just found out. I'm… sorry," Troian said, trying her best to explain with the most comprehensible tone she could offer to Keegan.

* * *

><p><strong>PS: I hope you guys still went through this chapter although it practically revolved around Shay, Troian and Keegan. I thought Shay and Keegan needed closure… Or at the very least Keegan deserves to know the truth straight from Shay although Shay didn't say the exact words. <strong>

**Ok, let's do a survey! What do you guys think will Ash buy from his trip for Shay? Tellll meeee! Best answer will be used on the fic! = D  
><strong>

**Btw, I have a new SPOBY fic "23". Check 'em out guys if you have the time =) **

**Mwah! Mwah! Lotsa hugs for you wherever you are! And don't forget to drop a review!  
><strong>


End file.
